Love Among The Pages

002

"I can't do this anymore, Helen" My Dad's voice echoed in their room

"Let's file a divorce" i was stunned when i hear my Mom arguing with my Dad.

They're getting divorce!?

" I'll talk to our lawyer" Dad frustratingly said

"What about Ethan?" he added

"I don't know, pero hindi ko sya pwedeng kuhanin. Sayo na lang muna sya" Mom said

"What?" Dad said with a face of disbelief "...i can't, hindi alam ni Jennifer na may anak ako" he added

Tears welled up in my eyes as I continue eavesdropping their conversation. Hanggang sa lumabas na si Dad ng kwarto ni Mom, malakas ang pagkakasara nya ng pinto dahilan para makagawa ito ng malakas na tunog.

Their words echoed in my mind, and I felt a deep ache in my chest. It's not the divorce who cause me so much pain, it's them—no one want to take me.

Honestly, they don't want me either. I'm just a toy that they used para makuha ang pamana sa kanila ng mga magulang nila. Nga naman, my grandparents already dead, so what's the purpose of keeping me. Funny rigth?

Their words echoed in my mind, and I felt a deep ache in my chest. Mom and Dad supposed to be a parent, but why would they acted like this. What would happen to me now?

This is one of the reasons why im into reading, kapag lagi silang nagaaway at nagsisigawan...kukuha lang ako ng libro at magbabasa para hindi ko marinig ang pagaaway nila.

When i say Isa is my comfort person, i meant it, really. Sya ang rason bakit may ngiti pa rin sa mga labi ko, Isa and Luna are the only one who's there to comfort me.

Even when im just a kid, they don't treat me like their child. I grow up with my nanny, she's the one who fed me, showered me, taking care of me—that a Mom supposed to do, because she's a mother.

But my Mom is a mother to none, my Dad is a father of no son. They're a parent of no one.

I locked myself in my room, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang mangyayari. I grab the book that Isa signed, when i read the title i smiled. I turn the next page and started reading it again, hindi ko na rin namalayan ang oras at gabi na pala. See, when i read humihinto ang oras sa akin.

I put my favorite bookmark sa page na nahinto ako, i decided to go downstairs dahil nakaramdam ako ng gutom.

As i expected, wala akong naabutan na kahit sino sa kanila maliban sa kasambahay namin. Pero sanay naman ako, ilang taon ko na itong nakasanayan....na wala sila. Sa tabi ko nga habang lumalaki ako ay wala ang presensya nila, sa bahay pa kaya.

"Ethan, anong gusto mong kainin at ipaghahain kita. Kinatok kita kanina sa kwarto mo kaso hindi ka sumasagot kaya hinayaan na lang kita baka kako nagbabasa ka" Ate Tesa said while holding a broom.

"Just a sandwich po" tipid na sagot ko

In just one snap she already out of my sight, nasa kusina na sya at hinahanda ang sinabi ko. Wala talagang umiistorbo sa akin kapag nagbabasa ako dahil hindi talaga ako maiistorbo.

I sat on the couch and turned on the tv, wala akong ibang magawa dahil sa boredom. Hindi nagtagal ay nilapag ni Ate Tesa ang two sliced sandwitch with ham and mayo.

Napangiti ako ng bahagya nang makita iyon, ate tesa really know what exactly i like with my sandwich. She knows what i like very well even without asking.

I wonder if they know that i dont like lettuce sa sandwich, kung alam ba nila na hindi ako mahilig sa spicy foods—na alam ba nilang ayoko sa sweets o kung may idea ba sila na I'm a fan of someone. Maybe not or hindi talaga. Wala silang ideya sa akin.

Napansin kong nakatayo pa rin si Ate Tesa sa likuran ko kaya lumingon ako sa kanya. She seems so bothered by something.

"Ano pong problema?" i asked politely

She walked towards me at umupo sa tabi ko, her eyes looks so sweaty. Did she cry? For what reason.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" she asked, her eyes tells something kaya umiwas ako ng tingin.

That question, is the only question i hate the most. Kahit sobrang simple lang naman ng tanong ay bakit ang hirap nyang sagutin, bakit wala akong mahanap na sagot.

"Ayos lan—" my voice broke

She immediately hugged me and tapped my back, hindi ko alam pero bumugso ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. I don't even remember when was the last time i cried this hard.

Para akong bata na umiiyak sa ina nya dahil inaway sa school niya, hindi nagsalita si Ate Tesa at hinayaan lang akong umiyak.

When i stop crying she looked at me with so much sympathy. "Basta ha—kapag kapag wala ka ng mapuntahan, dito ka sakin okay" she tried to hide her tears, but i know ate Tesa. She's the most softhearted I've ever known.

May gagawin pa raw sya kaya hinayaan na nya muna ako rito. Kinain ko ang sandwitch na hinanda nya with a pair of apple juice. My favorites.

Simula ng ipanganak ako ay kasama ko na si Ate Tesa, sya na ang naging magulang ko. Sya ang nagtitimpla ng gatas, nagpapaligo at nagaalaga sa akin noong sanggol pa lang ako.

Minsan nga ay pinupuslit ko ang ilan sa damit ni Mom para ipasuot sa kanya to attend a meeting in our school cause i don't have a parents to attend.

I always heard Mom na gusto na syang i fired but i insisted na huwag. Sya na nga lang ang mayroon ako, tatanggalin pa ba nila sa akin.

How cruel she is

I received a text from Luna, sinabi ko kasi sa kanya ang narinig kong paguusap nila Mom and Dad at ngayon lang sya nakapag reply.

She's on her makeup again, for sure. She said na dadaan sya dito before umuwi to comfort me. Maarte man tong babae na 'to, but she's the second woman i adore so much. Ate Tesa and Luna are the only person i valued the most.

I asked Ate to make a menudo because it's Luna's favorite. Hindi naman tumagal ay narinig ko na ang pagbukas ng gate, hinantay ko na lang syang pumasok sa loob.

"Ethannnn" and there she is, my very loud bestfreind.

She's wearing a pink croptop and a pink not so mini skirt dahil medyo mahaba naman. Her hair is on braids na may pink ponytails. Her kikay and coquette personality, everytime na magkasama kami ay para kaming timang. She wear either pink or purple while i always wear white or block.

"There you are" when she saw me standing and waiting for her, she run and hugged me.

"Are you okay?" she asked nang humarap sya sa akin.

I didn't cry this time when she asked me, pinigilan ko ang sarili ko dahil i know this girl so much. She'll just laugh at me dahil ang pangit ko raw umiyak.

Besides, I've been wiping my own tears since i was born. I got myself, no worries.

"Hey ate" kaway nya kay Ate Tesa ng lumabas ito mula sa kusina.

"Hello pinky" she greeted back

Pinky ang tawag nya kay Luna dahil lagi nya itong nakikita na naka pink.

"Nagluto ako ng paborito mo, tara at kumain na kayo" she said

"Wow, there's a menudo. Thank you so much ate, you really love me talaga" she pouted while clinging to ate Tesa's arm.

Luna at ang kanyang pagiging conyo. I joined them dahil parang nakakalimutan na nilang narito din ako.

"Just to make it clear, i asked ate to prepare this. So you should thanks me too" i demand

Totoo naman, ako ang nagsabi kay Ate Tesa pero bakit parang wala man lang akong natanggap sa isang to.

"Okay" she simply answered then continue with her menudo.

I sighed with disbelief, ang isang to talaga ay napaka maldita. Buti na lang ay ako ang naging kaibigan nya.

Kidding aside, I'm not so vocal about my feelings because i grow up in a house with a non affectionate members. But I'm so lucky with Luna, she's the best.

Indeed