Stars In Her Eyes

Fourteen

I'm staying in the guestroom. It's a medium sized room with a kingsized bed and a wardrobe. Quite cosy. As soon as my head had touched the pillows I was out like a light.

Now I'm wide awake staring at the ceiling. A few strokes of sunlight peek through the curtains. They're quite warm, which means it's gonna be yet another hot one today. Lucky lays on my tummy snuggled under the blankets. I don't wanna get up I just wanna wrap myself in this blanket like a human sized burrito and stay here forever.

After my conversation with mom yesterday I couldn't stop crying. Everything reminds me of Sabrina. Even in my dreams I couldn't stop thinking about her. I just need answers. I need to know she's okay. Actually I know for a fact she's not.

See? There I go again! She's the last thing on my mind in the evening before I fall asleep and then once I wake up the first thing on my mind in the morning. No matter how hard I try, she won't leave me and my thoughts alone.

How can someone still be with you despite not being there.

Suddenly the door swings open. It startles me as I was fully caught up on my thoughts.

"Dude it's already noon, are you ever gonna get up?",

it's Amy.

"I'm asleep",

I say as if Amy is gonna believe that.

"Seriously what's up with you? You've been in this room pretty much since you came here",

Amy seats on the bed.

"Nothing I'm just tired",

I wanna be honest with her and tell her what's really going on but the fear of losing her or mom finding out keeps me from doing it.

"Yeah right. Okay Lucky you're her best pal can you tell me what happened to my sister?",

Amy grabs my bear.

For some reason it triggers me because I immediately snatch him back and break down in tears. Now I remember why I slept so well last night. I cried myself asleep.

"Oh shit, I didn't mean to make you cry",

Amy lays down next to me.

"Come on sis, out with it",

she's right it needs to get off my chest.

Before I know it I'm spitting everything out; Sabrina, the lake, Trent, the storm, the fire place and that night. It is in fact quite a relief talking about it, instead of pushing it away. Tears are still covering my face and Lucky is being squeezed tight. I've been carrying everything with me so tight, trying to keep it all together. It's like a weight has lifted off my shoulders now that I finally let it all out.

"That Sabrina girl is an idiot, any girl would be lucky to have you if she can't see that she doesn't deserve you",

Amy has her opinion ready.

"See that's the thing, this isn't her. I've seen the real her, I've gotten to know a very different side of her but as soon as Trent shows up she completely shifts personalities",

why am I still defending her?

"What if this is the real her? What if she just needed something to kill time? To me it seems she has played you girls can be like that you know",

ladies and gents, Amy the love doctor.

I know she means well and maybe in some way she might be a little right but still. There's more to it, I just know there is.