Noisy Neighbor » lee know

Chapter 26: Swagetti And Memeballs

Ava's mouth was hung open, like literally wide open, perhaps wider than your girl's- what the fuck, author, it's the first line. 

"So you'll cook for me?" 

"Yeah?" Minho deadpanned, entering the kitchen, "Do you think I live on instant noodles?" 

"I thought you lived on pussies, but you've proven me wrong today." 

He clicked his tongue, and she giggled, leaning over the couch and twirling her hair in her fingers and swinging her feet in the air, teasing, "Is this an invitation to a dinner, then, monsieur?" 

"Monster?" 

"Monsieur." 

"Mo-sure?" 

"...nevermind." 

Minho scoffed, "But yeah, call it a dinner or whatever. I think that's what you call it when you eat food at night." 

"You think?" Ava sarcastically acted like she was blown away by that important piece of information, "I'm amazed! I thought it was called breakfast!" she began clapping for him. 

He turned around, glaring at her, "Shut the fuck up. And where's the apron?" 

"I have only one," Ava pointed at the folded apron on the kitchen counter, "And it's literally right in front of you." 

"Sorry, looking at you for so long burnt my eyes." 

"Who told you to check me out that badly?" 

Minho donned the apron aggressively, glowering at her, and Ava burst out laughing. 

"What are you laughing at?" 

She pointed at the apron, and he looked down to see Shinchan's ass printed oh-so intricately on it. Horrified, he screamed, "WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL!" 

"Suits you: an ass wearing ass," Ava was having the time of her life. 

"Why-why did you even buy this?!" Minho shrieked. 

"My mom gifted me this," she laughed, "She told me to get some cooking inspo. 'Til this day, I still don't know what she meant by that." 

"You have a weird family," Minho commented, sighing. 

"Yeah -- a mom who gifts me Shinchan's ass' apron for cooking inspiration, and a dad who gave me a house next to a guy who can't control his sexual desires." 

"Excuse you, I haven't gotten laid in a long time," Minho pointed the spatula at her in a warning sign. She lifted her hands in the air, "Oh, so that's my problem now?"

"You should know."

"And what great purpose shall it serve?"

"Jeez, Shakespeare."

Ava giggled, "So what are you making right now?" 

"Cookin' up a storm piece of cake," Minho proudly declared. 

"...?"

"The author knows." 

"Fuck, man, she self-inserts too much," Ava groaned. 

"Ah, she's attention-deprived and-" the author censored the rest of the dialogue due to the image she holds and does not want Minho to expose her. 

"But what are you cooking, though?" Ava asked again, now that the author was done self-inserting. 

Minho turned on the stove (and all of you), "I'm going all creative with this, but: spaghetti and meatballs." 

"I'm also going all creative with this, but: swagetti and memeballs." 

"..." 

"..." 

"You're uninvited." 

"Seems fair." 

That made him chuckle. He cast a look at her, who had turned to the television again, and was boredly surfing the channels. With another smile gracing his lips, Minho reminisced about how terrifying it had been when she had collapsed a few chapters ago (or, for them, a few hours ago), and how nerve-wracking it had been for him. As a fellow neighbor of hers, he was concerned, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT NEIGHBORS DO, RIGHT? RIGHT, MINHO? 

"Yeah, she's just a neighbor," he smiled to himself, because that's what neighbors do, "A noisy one, at that." 

And just as he muttered that, Ava hooted at something on the television; that something starting with 'S' and ending with 'hinchan'. 

As he marinated the meat (the author is a vegetarian so please trust this make-believe recipe) and boiled the spaghetti, he kept casting looks at her, because that's what neighbors do. 

"Hey, Minho!" Ava called out for him, and he washed his hands and walked towards her, "Yeah?" 

"Look!" she had paused on an image oh Shinchan's butt that looked exactly like the print on his apron. Upon seeing his baffled expression, she burst out into a laughing fit, "Stand beside the TV! I want a picture!"

"Shut the fuck up," Minho grumbled.

"Please?" she asked, "Please please please?" 

"Chill, Sabrina Carpenter." 

"What splendid humor!" Ava deadpanned, "I had a cardiac arrest!" 

"Girls often get that when they see me," Minho smirked, playing along. The readers nodded. 

"So you're a murderer?" 

"Ye- what?" 

"Shit, dude, do you have a Death Note?" 

"Where is this conversation going?" 

She gasped, "HAVE YOU MET RYUK?" 

"THE FUC-" 

"TELL HIM THAT I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON HIM!" 

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" 

"HOW CAN I FUCK INSANE?" 

As the banter continued as loudly as possible, their voices were heard outside the walls of the house. In the neighboring house, Jisung and Hyunjin sat five feet apart, listening to the faint voices. 

"Are they fucking?" 

"A hundred and ten percent." 

(a/n: MAYDAYS! I HAVE NEWS FOR Y'ALL!! 

I published a book called 'ASTRAY' on Amazon Kindle! It's available all over the world on Amazon! Check out the link in my bio to purchase!

Thanks for reading! I love you!)