Back and Forth (A Castle Fanfiction)

Blacklash

The next morning, Kate woke far before anyone else. Some time around four she wandered into her bathroom, purposefully ensuring she wasn't waking the writer, and shutting the door behind her just to switch on the light and catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. In the nightgown she wore, her curves were accented due to the stretching of the fabrics. Her stomach now seemed to have grown to the looks of a full term expecting mother, and she couldn't help but take note of this. She still had weeks before she would be considered full term, and the thought kept ringing in her mind that she had always seemed bigger than she should have been, and the baby's heartbeat was always "strong". She questioned whether or not they had the correct due date for her, and if she wasn't actually further along than they thought.

If she was, at this point it wouldn't much matter. At this point, she was so far along that if the baby were to come "early", he would still likely survive. Still, she would do everything she could to be sure that didn't happen. She would do anything to be sure her son had the best chance he could possibly get. Anything. Unfortunately, not all of that was up to her, and by the end of the day, she would be forced to come face to face with that. For the time being, however, the only thing she was faced with was her distended stomach and the future it held.

After a little while, Kate climbed in the shower, cleaned herself of the taxing thoughts, and pulled on a new outfit for the comfort of staying home. Even in a light purple T-shirt and jeans, Kate still pulled on the necklace her writer had given her, and adored it more and more. She then, for herself more than anything, pulled out her old leather jacket and tried it on. She really didn't think it would fit, but by some miracle she managed to pull it on and recapture the person she used to be. Then her hands fell again to her stomach and her smile waned into something different. She was both happy to be a mother and saddened to that her days of motorcycles and recklessness were behind her. More than anything, she was simply changed by the future, not displeased or upset. Henry was her everything just as much as Rick and Alexis were starting to become.

Just as she pulled off the jacket, she heard her writer adjust as he opened his eyes to see her smiling back at him. "Hey," she whispered softly.

"Hey, what are you doing up?"

"Nothing, I just- I thought I might go see my dad today. I mean, that week is up, and as long as I take it easy, my home-bound week is up."

The writer sighed slightly. "Well- maybe we should have him over. It would be easier on you and-."

"And I wouldn't get to make sure that he's sticking with the program, Rick. I wouldn't get the chance to make sure he's alright at home alone."

"I'm sure he's fine," Rick stated, "I mean, you saw him when he came to visit you at the hospital."

"You mean when he looked like he hadn't slept in days?" The writer sighed. He knew she was kind of right, but he really hoped she was wrong. Considering how much it meant to Kate that he had gotten clean, he would hate to see that he relapsed. Seeing his puppy eyes looking back up at her with uncertain fear, she sighed and wandered toward him, sitting down beside him on the bed. "I promise, this won't be a bad thing. I'll be safe, and if anything is up, I will leave the minute I can."

"That's what scares me," the writer replied honestly, thinking of the last time she left her father when he was drunk.

She then lifted her chin and kissed his forehead gently after telling him, "We will be alright. I promise." With one hand holding hers, he tried to believe her, but truly struggled to do so. His eyes then wandered from her's to her stomach as his other hand rose to stroke it. While he felt the small movements of their unborn son and knew he was alive and well, Kate swore again, "I wouldn't let anything happen to us. You know that."

"I know," the man whispered, "But somehow, this just doesn't feel right. I have this feeling like something is going to happen to you both."

"You always have that feeling," Kate replied.

His eyes came up to meet her's in a sheepish manner. "I know, but- this time... I don't know, it's just- different."

"If I don't do this, Rick, and something has happened to him, I will never forgive myself."

"I know," he said softly, "and I can't ask you not to do it, but you have no idea how badly I want to ask you not to do it."

"I'm sorry, but I have to." This brought an end to the conversation. For a moment, the two sat in silence as his hand rested on her stomach, the other on the bed, and the her hands rested over his. She stared at his eyes, and he just watched her chest rise as fall as the baby laid his foot again her skin, putting pressure on his father's hand. He watched his unborn son move beneath her skin for what he knew on some level beyond recognition would be the last time he saw Henry do this. As he took in a final picture of what his pregnant wife looked like before their reality struck, his eyes trailed up to hers, and he made sure to memorize every ounce of her.

Neither knew for certain that having her walk out the door would mean what it meant. Neither knew for sure that Kate would never again walk through the doors with a swollen belly and an indestructible smile. Neither knew what the future held, but on some level, he knew exactly what to do to be sure, if worse came to what it came to, he didn't regret a thing. He stopped her in the doorway, spun her back toward himself, laid a tender yet deep kiss over her lips and told her, "I love you, Kate."

"I love you, too," she replied with amazement in her tone.

He then looked for a final time to her stomach and told her in the process of looking to her eyes, "Be safe."

"We will," she swore. She just didn't realize that being "safe" wasn't good enough. So, as she walked out the door, her writer sat down and nervously pondered what was happening with his wife. He never expected the phone call he got. He never expected to hear that he had shipped her off to a world of danger. He never expected to hear that his love and his son would, within an hour, be fighting for their lives.