Back and Forth (A Castle Fanfiction)

Living and Dying in Pain

"We need to talk," Rick stated, staring at her with a heavy presence which told her this was something that couldn't wait.

She put down the bowl of freshly strained ground beef the moment her eyes locked on his, and she wiped her hands on her apron as she told Alexis from across the apartment, "Lex, pumpkin, why don't you go up to your room and play while the grown ups talk, alright? I will come up and get you when lunch is ready."

"Okay," the weary girl answered. She then ran up to her mother and threw her arms around her legs. Kate lifted her up and Alexis then whispered, "Please don't fight."

Kate looked at her little girl, then back at her fiance for a moment before telling the child to her face, with a smile on her lips and in her dove-like voice, "I promise, I'll try not to, okay? It will be alright. Just go up to your room and mommy will come up to nap with you in a bit, alright?" Alexis nodded and Kate placed her on the ground. The child then ran off and left the adults to half stare each other down. As soon as the red head was out of sight, and the sound of a door closing rang through the apartment, Kate questioned with a majority of concern and a hint of confusion, "What happened?"

"We weren't at the park," Rick answered, letting that news catch up with Kate, "I took Alexis over to Maddie's and she watched her while I went to talk to your father man to man. I thought I could hide that from you, but that was wrong of me and I'm sorry."

She continued to watch him, curious as to how he could give her the whole meaning-of-marriage speech one night, and then the next afternoon try to hide something like this from her. Then she saw his posture, his pain, and instantly her only question was, "What did you two talk about?"

"You," he replied, being completely honest with her. "I think the first question I asked him was, 'How could you do what you did to the woman who only wanted to see you get better, who came by to make sure you were safe?'."

"And what did he say?"

"He told me that to him, you weren't you. He thought he was saving your mother from being stabbed to death."

"I knew that already," Kate replied, trying to see where this was going.

He then answered, "I know you did. That wasn't what we needed to talk about."

"Was one of the things we need to talk about your lack of boundaries," the young woman bitterly bit at the writer.

Castle breathed. "I understand you're mad, and I understand that I crossed a line in talking to your father without you, and we can have that fight later, but right now, there is something else we need to talk about."

"And what is that," Kate bitterly questioned.

Rick hesitated. He knew he had to talk about this, but he didn't know how. It wasn't until he had talked with her father that he realized something about her mother's case that now even she knew. After reading the police reports and other files on her mother's murder before Kate had gone through the initial scare with Henry coming early, something had been bugging him, and now, after talking to Jim, he got confirmation that something was up. He looked at his lover, however, and simply stated, "I asked him. About what made him drink, I asked him how he could go back to the bottle."

Kate the choked on air. "What, ah-... What did he say?"

"He said that a detective came to visit. A Detective Raglen came by and he stole away the last remaining files your mother had from her work in the projects. Apparently when he took it, he told your father he was just following through with old orders and then he sat him down and asked him a couple of follow up questions wondering what he knew. Something about the questions just- sent him over the edge, made him relive everything he went through the first time and he couldn't handle the stress. He was at a bar, only half conscious before he could remember what was going on."