Back and Forth (A Castle Fanfiction)

Heartache

As Kate burst through the doors of the courtroom, followed by Rick and the kids, tears had managed to flood over her eyelids and she could barely catch her breath. Her fiance, who had no choice but to continue holding their infant son and keep his daughter's hand in his, came up behind her, uttering a subtle, "Kate." Her breathing pulsed. Her body felt weak. As soon as he came close enough to her, she looked up into his eyes, and the moment she saw with crystal blue pools, she instantly broke.

With his son over on shoulder, as his lover fell into him, he wrapped the only arm he could around her, and let his daughter's hand fall free. Her choppy breaths fell out as her tears soaked the fabric of his suit jacket, and her body quaked against his. Her pain was excruciating and he didn't need to be a psychic to know what she was thinking. He then told her gently, "It will be alright, Kate. I promise, no matter what, it will be alright."

The young woman swallowed and looked up at him. "Will it? I mean- I'm pretty sure I just sealed the deal for my dad's imprisonment."

"Kate, I promise you, that's not what just happened."

"Were you in there," Kate half screamed with watering eyes. "I practically made myself out to be a domestic violence victim who just- didn't know any better."

All Rick could think was, That's your father's fault for making you a domestic assault victim, not yours. Still, he answered, "It's all going to be fine, Kate. I swear to you. No matter what happens, it's going to be alright."

She then breathed, not believing his even a little, and offered to take her son from him. The four of them walked out of the courthouse and made their way back to the apartment where the adults remained completely drained as Kate finished up the last bit of school work she had to catch up on and Rick entertained the three year-old. The two of them barely talked, really, they basically just took care of what needed to be taken care of. Kate fed their son, which was about the only interaction the two had with each other, and then they went back to doing their own stuff.

By the time Kate was finished with her school work, the writer was looking for a reason to get out of the house with the three year-old just to wear her out, and so he took the work to the university while Kate stayed home with the baby. When the writer got back from taking care of her school work and then playing around on campus a bit to get Alexis out and about, he had to carry the red headed child in only to find that his other two loves had fallen asleep on the couch.

Rick then tucked Alexis in upstairs before he came back down and watched his lover sleep. He was about to watch the two of them for about two minutes before the infant began to cough and wake. Given the lack of sleep Kate had gotten over the past two nights, Rick quickly lifted his boy from her arms and began to sooth him as he continued to work up to crying. As much as he tried to keep the infant's tears from his mother, even carrying him into their bedroom behind two closed doors, Kate still heard her boys and slowly woke.

She followed the sound of the newborn's sobs until she found her writer changing the boy's diaper. Once his diaper was undone and a new one was being prepped, Kate pulled the dirty diaper away and carried it to the diaper bin beneath the changing table. "I really thought I had bested you this time," the writer commented as she walked toward the bin.

Kate then replied softly, "It's hard not to wake up when your son is sobbing."

"Why is it that I can sleep through that, and you can't?"

"I must be a lighter sleeper than you," Beckett answered as she strolled back to her loves. "Where's Alexis?"

"Napping. She really got worn out running around the Stanford campus all afternoon."

The woman then nodded, looking down at her son before she asked, "What did my professors say about this?"

Rick then looked up at her, seeing the concern in her eyes, telling her, "They all were impressed that you were getting your work done early, Kate. I told them you spent hours upon hours on this and they not only didn't doubt it, but seemed impressed by your commitment to their classes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. And your dean saw me on the campus and asked how you were doing. I told him that you had just testified this morning and then I show him that picture of you and Henry, and he told me he was looking forward to your coming back next week."

The young mother then breathed, looking at her love, telling him, "Thank you for doing all of this for me, Rick."

"Of course," he replied. He then lifted their son up from the bed who was now all better. Rick then held the baby to his chest and looked down at his love. With a comforting smile, he leaned down and gently kissed her lips.

Later that night, as Rick and Kate cuddled up on the couch, Alexis sat fondly beneath her mother's arm as her brother slept in the next room, and the three of them watched The Rugrats Movie, Alexis' new favorite thing to watch in the mornings. As the three of them comfortably sat, taking in what relaxation they could, they didn't need words to describe how peaceful this felt. Alexis again fell asleep before the end of the movie and Kate quickly realized that the writer had followed in his daughter's footsteps.

For a while, she didn't move. She didn't want to move. She didn't think or breathe. She just absorbed the serenity for however long she could. Eventually, however, reality caught up with her and she was forced to face the truth. As much as she loved the writer and her daughter and son, she knew she was missing something. She was missing her father. She was missing her mother. She was missing half of her family which she had had a year past. She was turning twenty in a week, and- it would be the first birthday she spent without a mother. Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and- she would never again carry on the tradition of cooking a feast with her mother at her side and her father in the next room.

Her heart pined for the moments when she had her parents by her side. She just wanted to turn back the hands of time and hold them for a while longer. Instead, her mother was gone, and her father was likely on his way to serving a prison sentence for misdemeanor assault. In fact, she had helped in likely putting him in prison for a year-long sentence. That- crushed her. She was absolutely heartbroken.

She wished she could be happy in this place with her writer and their kids, but- she wasn't happy. She was hurt. And there was only one way to make that hurt disappear. She had to solve her mother's case, and she had to get her father out of this. She had to.