some things can be challenging

Chapter 11

Lucy

It's been just over a month since I was discharged from the hospital. My nose is still tender, healing gradually. Having Tim by my side during this time has been incredibly comforting; his presence has been a source of joy and reassurance. He's been there every day, patiently waiting, which warms my heart deeply. I missed the warmth of his cuddles, the way he cradles my head and gently strokes my hair—it's like finding solace in familiar arms when he holds me close again.

Yet, amidst these moments of closeness, I find myself pondering why he hasn't joined me for any of the ultrasounds. Is it a sense of guilt, or perhaps awkwardness? I know he cares deeply, and I respect that he may need time to process everything. So, I haven't pressed him for answers, opting instead to give him the space he seems to require.

I do believe our relationship is on a path to healing. We're gradually becoming more open with each other, and having deeper conversations. However, there's a part of me that longs for us to move forward together. The baby is now about the size of a papaya, marking my 25th week, and my body's changes have necessitated a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. Adjusting to these physical changes has been a journey in itself.

Looking ahead, I hope Tim and I can navigate these next steps together, with the same tenderness and understanding that has carried us this far. Each day brings new challenges and joys, reminding me of the resilience and love that bind us through this transformative time.

I am a bit disappointed because when I entered my third trimester, Grey strictly assigned my desk duty or front desk duty for safety reasons unless I needed to go out, I also planned to start maternity leave when I am around 35 weeks but I will honestly most likely stay for longer until I am forced to stay at home so for now I just have to embrace the action of patrol while it lasts. 

***

Today started off relatively uneventful until a missing person case landed on our desks, which thankfully the detectives swiftly resolved. Grey accompanied me for the day, wanting to observe how I handled the situation, although my mind was preoccupied with something entirely different. As the day drew to a close, I mustered the courage to text Tim, letting him know I wanted to have a conversation. It wasn't anything negative—in fact, quite the opposite. I wanted to discuss our relationship, where we stood as parents-to-be, and the practicalities of preparing for our daughter's arrival. Despite the progress we've made in warming up to each other, I couldn't shake the feeling of his absence during half of the pregnancy.

After texting him to meet me outside, I anxiously awaited his response, unsure if he would show up. Thankfully, he did.

"Hey," I greeted him with a smile.

"Hi," he replied cautiously. "So, what is it you want to talk about?"

"I've been thinking a lot, and I believe it might be a good idea for us to reevaluate our feelings for each other," I began, nervously fidgeting with my hands before gathering the courage to meet his gaze. "Tim, I love you. Despite my earlier frustrations, I feel like most of it is behind us now, and maybe we can start thinking about our future together."

Tim held my gaze, his expression unreadable as he processed my words.

"Lucy, yes, I agree," he finally said softly. "And if you're open to it, could I come to your next doctor's appointment? Maybe we could go out afterward?"

I couldn't contain my joy at the thought of Tim hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time. "Of course, Tim. I want you to experience these moments too. And dinner sounds wonderful," I replied, a small smile spreading across my face.

"Good. See you then," he said gently, touching my shoulder before walking to his car.

As I watched him leave, a wave of relief and optimism washed over me. It felt like the pieces of our relationship were slowly falling back into place. We were on the path to becoming a family, navigating through challenges together and rediscovering the love that brought us here in the first place.