Beyond This Existence

CHAPTER NINE

Chapter 9.

WHEN AYESHA LEFT, Gian felt uneasy of Kaelanna’s presence. She is watching his every move. Kaelanna was making sure that Gian is gentle with Alenna.

Of course, Gian is gentle, he’s a nurse after all.

“Kaelanna.” Gian called Kaelanna’s attention after he’s done. Tinapon na nito ang ginamit na mga cotton sa basurahan doon sa kwarto. May nakalagay na squared band aid sa noo ng dalaga.

“Okay, thank you.” Ginalaw ni Kaelanna ng kaunti ang katawan ni Alenna, hoping for a response. “Ena? Can you hear me?”

Alenna responds by faintly saying, “mm-hm…”

“Okay.”

Kaelanna looked up at Gian who’s on his back. “It’s the start of your shift. You better get going now Gamboa.”

“I can’t leave her alone here, Kayel–is it okay to call you that?” She nods. “Okay. Pero ayun, hindi ko siya iiwan dito.”

“She won’t be staying here anymore. I will get her home, at my place. Like I promised.”

Pagkatapos niya sabihin iyon, sumunod na si Gian sa utos ng dalaga at umalis na. Kaelanna then woke Alenna up. Hindi naman siya tulog, sadyang nakapikit lang at pinagpapahinga ang sarili. Binuhat na ni Kaelanna ang bag na pagmamay-ari ni Alenna. This isn’t enough for her 14-weeks stay at Kaelanna’s place but, they’re both girls. And it’s not like their body measurements have much of a difference.

Habang dumadaan sa mahabang corridor ng ospital, lahat ng tao ay nagtitinginan. Some are gossiping already and some are still in shock. It was a very new feeling for Alenna since she is not used with that kind of attention. Dumaan muna sila saglit sa front desk dahil kinakailangang pumirma ng dalaga. Pati ang kaibigan niyang si Gerize ay nagulantang nang makita silang magkasama.

Gerize was staring fascinatingly at Kaelanna. As if she has seen an angel. “Where do I sign?” Gerize snapped out from her delusions when Kaelanna spoke, getting her attention. The woman instantly gave Kaelanna the record book. “H-here po.” Kaelanna instantly sign the papers and was about to leave when Gerize stopped them.

“I still need to sign.” sambit ni Alenna.

“What?” Kaelanna looked at Gerize, “is it required?” she asked, but it was Alenna who answered her.

“Yes. It is.”
Kinuha ni Alenna ang check book at inilagay sa kandungan niya. Pinirmahan na niya iyon at inilagay ang time ng kanilang paglabas. Napansin niyang walang nakalagay na ganoon kay Kaelanna kaya’t nilagyan na niya. Hindi na iyon pinapagawa sa mga doctor at ang front desk nurse ang gumagawa niyon.

Nang matapos ay ibinigay na niya kaagad kay Gerize at nagpaalam na rito. Nanlalaki pa rin ang mga matang nakatingin sa kanilang dalawa si Gerize at sigurado si Alenna na marami-rami ang itatanong nito sa kaniya pagbalik niya sa ospital.

“Do you still need to say goodbye to your friend?” tanong ni Kaelanna. Siya ang nagtutulak sa wheelchair niya. Hindi ito madalas na nakikitang ginagawa ng mga doktor dito.

“Alam naman na niya.”

“Good. So we’ll go now.”

“Mm-hm.”

Hinatid siya ng dalaga at umabot na sila sa parking lot. Napansin niyang iba na ang sasakyan nito kumpara sa isang nakabunggo sa kaniya. Tinignan niya ang dalaga na inilalagay ang gamit niya sa likod ng sasakyan.

“Oy.” pagtawag niya rito.

Tinapunan naman siya nito saglit ng tingin. “What?”

“Sayo ba ‘to?”

“No.” Nakakunot ang noo nito na lumapit sa kaniya.

“Huh? Then, where is your car?”

“I don’t have a car.”

Naguguluhan siyang tumitig dito. Magtatanong pa sana siya nang magsalita na ito. “Can you lift yourself up?”

“Baldado ako, halata ba?” sakrastikong tanong niya. Inismaran niya ito. Susubukan na palang sana na tumayo nang iangat siya nito.

“Nakikiliti ako, a-ano ba! Huy! Hahaha!” Kaelanna was holding her at her armpits.

The whole minute of Kaelanna putting her in the car was filled with laughter. “Ang lakas ng kiliti mo.” komento sa kaniya ng dalaga.

“Palibhasa can’t relate ka kasi wala ka namang kiliti.” Inismaran siya nito at tinalikuran na. Naglakad na ito papuntang driver’s seat at nang makaupo ay tinanong na niya kaagad.

“So, nasaan sasakyan mo?”

“Wala nga kong sasakyan.”

Kumunot ang noo niya, “eh ano yung binunggo mo saakin? Bike?”

Sinamaan siya nito ng tingin. “I have a motorcycle. This is my friend’s car. And the one that I used that almost killed you, it was theirs too.”

Alenna finds that very weird. “Eh bakit ka nakasasakyan ngayon?”

Tumigil sandali si Kaelanna sa pag-abante ng sasakyan. “Be logical Alenna. Do you think you can ride a motorcycle?”

“Eh bakit hindi mo nalang ginamit yung sasakyan na pinangbunggo mo saakin?”

“Because of traumatic reasons. Ever heard of it?” Alenna was very sure Kaelanna was sarcastic that’s why she didn’t answer her question.

Nagsimula nang umandar ang sasakyan at walang ni isang nagsasalita sa kanila. Alenna was unsure of turning the radio on and Kaelanna wasn’t even playing a song. Gustuhin man niyang magpatugtog on her own ay hindi niya dala ang headphones niya. And her phone is someplace else. She really is staying at Kaelanna’s place na ang dala-dala lang ay ang uniporme niya from work at isang damit na may print na shark.

I would borrow her clothes… I just hope it fits me. Tinapunan niya ng tingin ang katawan nito. Dahil sa fitted ang suot nito ay nakita niya ang makurba nitong katawan. Mas mapayat si Kaelanna kumpara dati. Sigurado siyang hindi ganito kaliit ang waistline nito. Tinigil na niya ang pagi-inspeksyon dito bago pa ito mapansin ng dalaga. Pinagmamasdan niya ang uri ng pagmamaneho nito. Hindi halatang sanay pero masasabi niyang marunong. Ang kaliwang kamay ay nasa manobela at ang kanang kamay nito ay paminsan-minsang nakahawak palagi sa gearshift. Hindi niya alam kung papaano niya nasabi pero halata ngang ang pinapaandar nito ay motor at hindi kotse.

Alenna was going at her place. She doesn’t know where does Kaelanna lives and she was sure that Kaelanna told her and Gian that it was near but they are now on a 30-minutes’ drive and still, no signs of Kaelanna’s place. She wants to ask the lady steering the wheel but it seems like she was very focused at driving. She wanted to place some music but it was Kaelanna’s poker face that stopped her from doing it.

When she couldn’t stand the silence anymore, she asked Kaelanna in a boorish tone. “Bakit ang tagal? At pwede bang magpatugtog ka man lang? Ang boring Kaelanna. Pano mo natatagalan ‘yung gantong tahimik?” Sunod-sunod na sabi niya.

Halata namang nagulat ang katabi niya na parang hindi makapaniwalang marunong pala siya magsalita. “Hello?” pagtawag niya sa atensyon nito.

“Sorry. Yeah, hindi, malapit ang bahay ko. I have a penthouse here and we will stay there.”

“Eh bakit ang tagal?”

“Hindi ko kabisado papunta doon eh.” Natatawang biro nito. Sinamaan niya naman ito ng tingin. “Yeah, you could play some songs.”

She gave her hand, “phone?”

“Yours or mine?”

“Mine!”

“At the trunk, in your bag.”

Nanlaki ang mata niya rito. “Siraulo ka ba?! Kung mabasag ‘yon?”

“Then I’ll get you a new one?” Kaelanna answered with a tone that is screaming the word sarcasm.

Hindi siya mapakaniwalang nakatingin dito. Nanlalaki ang mata at nakabilog ang bibig niya dahil hindi siya mapakaniwala. She shook her head. “Then your phone.”

“Glovebox honey. Check mo.” Sinamaan niya ito ng tingin. Ginawa niya ang sinabi nito at nandoon nga ang cellphone niya. Of course, it’s IPhone. That made her eyes roll.

“Is this 14?”

“15.” Geez… rich kid–wait, matanda na ‘to.

She opened the phone and there was a passcode, “three one’s, three twos.” sagot kaagad ni Kaelanna. Patingin-tingin ito sa direksyon niya.

Alenna’s heart stopped a bit. Those numbers aren’t coincidental. That is a date. And if I’m not mistaken– “November 12, 2022?” Kaelanna slowly nods. May pinaparating ba ‘to, o naga-assume lang ako? Tinapunan niya ng tingin ang katabi na busy naman sa pagmamaneho. If she’s not mistaken, this was the day of their first meeting. First meet, first date and even the day where they had their first kiss. Nakatitig lang siya sa cellphone at nagpipindot doon ng kung ano-ano. Nanlalamig ang kamay niya sa reyalisasyon na ‘yon.
Napansin naman siya ni Kaelanna kaya’t pinarada muna nito sandali ang kotse sa gilid at kinuha ang cellphone niya. “Spotify ba?”

“Mm-hmm…” she turned her face at Kaelanna who’s busy at her phone, “does it mean anything?”

“Hmm?”

She swallowed first before answering. “The passcode, Kaelanna.”

Finally, Kaelanna looked at her side. “Was it supposed to mean anything?” she sounds innocent. As if it doesn’t mean anything.

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. Alenna doesn’t want to react.

“Where did you even get that passcode?” She is persistent. She wants Kaelanna to tell the truth. It’s a big deal. For her.
“From my old phone. That was my passcode.”

Right. “You said November 12, 2022. What does that mean?” She pointed it out.

“Oh, that…” Kaelanna smacked her lips. “Did I say November 12, 2022? Where did you get that?” She looked at her confused.

“You said, earlier.”

“I did?” Kaelanna ask, pointing at herself.

Alenna couldn’t speak. Kaelanna really looks clueless in all of these. Am I being delusional? “Hey, explain. When did I say that?”

“Kanina.” She pointed it out, “tinanong kita nung date na ‘yon and tumango ka.”

“Oh…” Kaelanna was looking down. “I misheard you.”

“You did?”

“Mm-hm!” Hinawakan na ng dalaga ang manobela at sinimulan ang makina ng sasakyan. She’s lying… “then what did you hear?”

“Hmm?”

Alenna is still persistent. Hindi ako delusional. I heard what I heard. And is it too much for her to admit the truth? She shooked her head. I mean, for me it is. Maybe it goes like that to hers as well.
“You said you misheard. So, what did you hear?” She’s starting to get annoyed. Nagmamaang-maangan ka pa, huli ka naman na.

“What’s with your look? Ang seryoso mo naman.”

She wants to answer her, scream at her face. Eh nagmamaang-maangan ka pa… Hindi siya nagsalita at tinitigan lang ang dalaga. She wants to drop the conversation lately because it seems like what she’s telling Kaelanna never happened. Maybe I’m delusional! Now I can fucking admit that.

Tinigil muli ng dalaga ang sasakyan at nagulat siya dahil nagsimula itong tumawa. “Hahahaha! I’m sorry hahaha! I can’t h-handle it anymore…” she even wiped a tear for laughing relentlessly.

Hindi siya nagsalita at salubong ang kilay na tinitigan lang ang dalaga. When she finally stopped laughing, she gave her a smile and a wink. “Of course, it means something. Honey, that was our first date.” Kaelanna said it so painfully happy. She was smiling from ear-to-ear and was happily teasing Alenna.

Alenna didn’t say a word but she is holding back a smile which is very obvious for Kaelanna.

“Tsk tsk…” she teased.

“Paandarin mo na ‘yan!” She snatched Kaelanna’s phone and played Different Kind of Beautiful on Spotify. Alec Benjamin is her favorite artist. For her, he is criminally underrated. She was about to put the song on playlist when she noticed it was already in a playlist. Out of curiosity, she checked Kaelanna’s playlist. But before doing that, she looked at her first to see if she is busy, and not to her surprise, she is again.

Alenna scrolled down to some playlists and, she saw something that genuinely touched her heart. Something that made her heart floats in the air made her entire being scream in happiness.

Almost at the very end, there is a playlist labeled ‘songs she listens to (atleast she used to)’ and it has an album cover of something that belongs to her. It was created on March 07, 2022. That was ages ago. Way back when they are still together. Some of the songs there are actually the ones she listens to. But it stopped on DKOB by Alec Benjamin.

That made her genuinely smile. She played the song and put it on maximum volume so Kaelanna would hear it too. What made her even happier was the fact that, Kaelanna was singing the song too.

“Alec Benjamin listener ka pala?” she asks. Tumango naman ito nang hindi tumitingin sa kaniya.

“Kelan pa?”

“Simula nung… naging listener ka niya. Hehe.” Nginitian siya nito ulit. Like that smile earlier when she was teasing her. “Still. Play a Taylor Swift song later.”

They then laughed at each other. The car was filled with their own voices singing hundreds of their favorite songs. They even stopped to buy fries and drink at a local store and they continued their carpool.

THEY FINALLY ARRIVED at her place and truth be told, the penthouse is gorgeous. It was on a top of the mountain and it has a bedroom right next to a large window where you’ll see the quiet city of Teltow.

Alenna was fascinated by the view that she’s seeing. Kinahapunan na noon kaya’t malapit na ang sunset. And she was so excited to see it with this magnificent view. Nakaupo lamang siya sa higaan ng dalaga kung saan siya nito dinala habang ito ay kumukuha ng mga susuotin niya. Wala naman masyadong iu-unpack dahil wala naman siyang dala maliban sa jansport bag niya na may lamang uniporme niya at t-shirt na kinakailangan isampay.

“Umm, Jaye?” pagtawag niya rito. Wala kasi ito sa kwarto.

“What?” Sumilip ito sa pintuan. “It sounds so weird when you call me that.”

“Can you please, do this for me?” Pumasok na ito ng kwarto at dumapo ang tingin sa hawak niyang mga damit. Lumapit ito sa kaniya at sinampay na ang mga damit niya sa clothes rack malapit sa pintuan.

“Here. This suits you.” Kaelanna gave her a lavender button-down blouse with silvery sheen, and a white cotton-fabric shorts. The fabric was so soft and it made her so happy that it is her favorite color. “Thank you.” Ang nasabi na lang niya.

Kaelanna left the room for her to have some privacy. The large windows don’t need to be closed since they’re on a hill. She took off her clothes and the sun are already setting. What makes it so wonderful is the sun touching her skin. It was golden yellow. It wasn’t just pretty, it was magnificent.

She put the clothes on and she immediately loved it. It was very comfortable. She called Kaelanna and there she was, standing on the doorstep immediately after she just called her. Kaelanna can tell that she was very happy with the clothes. And so, she said, “You can keep it.”

Alenna was shocked for a moment there but smiled at her as a response. “Thank you.”

“Nope.” Kaelanna said, popping the letter ‘p’. She sat on the bed with her and they both watched the sun set. “It’s terrific, isn’t?”

“Mm-hm…” she nods. “You get to see this every day?” Alenna asks.

“No. I have work, remember? Leave by morning, home by midnight. I never get to watch this beauty.”

She smiled sparingly. “I hope you’ll enjoy this place. It’s not so much and basically designed like a cabin, but I think it’s nice.”

“It is nice.” Alenna replied.

Kaelanna stood up and wait by the door. “By the way, I will cook. What do you want to eat?”

“Käsespätzle.” sagot niya rito. “What the hell is that, honey?” Kaelanna asked, maintaining a sweet tone. Natawa siya. “It’s macaroni and cheese in Germany, honey.” she answered with a sweet tone as well.

After a few minutes of watching the sun sets, Kaelanna finally finished preparing the meal. She went over Alenna to set the table. Tinulungan niya itong ilagay ang lamesa malapit sa higaan niya para doon nalang siya kakain. They both shared Käsespätzle for dinner and told some hilarious jokes.

For a moment there, Alenna forgot about everything and she felt that the world is revolving around them again. She forgot about Gian having a romantic crush for her ex, she forgot about Paris’ relationship with Kaelanna, she forgot about the issues with her mom and just, cherished the moment there. For a moment there, they were happy and contented.

Enid Flo.