katharsis

- seventh rule -

Life is about compromise.

Announcing to Swan's parents our relationship was the weirdest part. We were both nervous, obviously. They still saw me as their son, and deeply, they were still the source of my suffering. I had forgiven them for leaving me, but my depressed ass was way stronger than my forgiveness.

Swan did most of the talking. I never knew myself as a shy person.
Their reaction was gold. But I promised myself to keep that part for me. Not even Drew knows what happened.

Anyway, they were really supportive of us nonetheless. Livia was thrilled herself, and I was truly happy. Or at least I tried to.

I had the blessing of my boyfriend's family, I had the best friend I could ever ask for, and other friends...

But shit went down quickly.

My dad, biological, obviously since he is the only man I will ever call a father, came back. It was hard to let him in at first.

He abandoned me at the age of 4.

I was not very excited about meeting him. All my life, I thought he was the reason my mom had taken her life.
We quickly became friends, even though my foster parent was against it. Parent, not parents, because the mom passed too. Call me insensitive, but it's not that relevant.

All of this was very hard to me. I thought I was repaying for my sins or some shit like that. It was the second time Drew and I tried to die together. But I couldn't, because I had Swan.

In fact, it was also the first time Drew and I argued. We were both too broken to listen to each other. We weren't good friends to each other.

The end of 2019 was particularly rough on him. He started to write some more depressed shit, and I thought I was going to lose him. But my priority was Swan with whom I had started to basically live with in our mutual friend's house.

I won't forgive myself, but Drew and I were distant at that time.

The months between December 2019 and April 2020 are still blurry to me.
Nothing major happened, I went to parties, spent days with my Swan, swam a lot in different pools, played instruments, and whatnot.

I am what people would call a prodigy, a gifted kid, and I used that to never take school too seriously. It wasn't a big deal if I passed or not. All that mattered to me was that I was with my loved ones. With Swan's family, my dad, my boyfriend. It was everything I needed.

Or so I thought.