Life is about everything.2021 was easy to go through.
The only thing bothering me was, fundamentally, Andrew. I don't mean it in a bad way, at all. Andrew, as a person, is the most amazing thing that ever happened to my life.
And yes, I love Swan, but what Drew made me feel was way beyond love, way beyond human's understanding.
How I felt wasn't enough.
He was my safest place from the beginning. I'd never felt more at ease, not even by myself was I ever this carefree.
But things started to look weird for him. In February 2021, he engaged himself in a new relationship.
I was not, in any way, supportive of that. He wasn't ready. He shouldn't have started taking care of someone else while still being in the delusion of "everything is fine." I was so mad at him for that.
He didn't want to listen to me, to my warnings.
Sure, I started to question my own point of view when he started talking about his girlfriend. Hell, he talked about her every time, and I thought, 'Maybe he does love someone, maybe he will heal with her'. And I was wrong to think that because he destroyed himself in this relationship.
He only had me. If he wasn't happy, I had to be there for him, and if I had to be there, I wouldnt have been able to fucking leave for New York.
See where I am going with that ?
I hated myself when I came to the realisation that Drew was holding me back. But I stayed there for him. I gave my time to him.
Then I told him. By the end of the year, I told him I was about to leave for New York and possibly not come back. I was already on the move. I was about to leave in a few more months.
He took it... rather well. That's what he tried to convince me with, at least. And I left it at that because I didn't want to deal with this.
I am sorry, Drew, for doing that.
So, I told him, now what ? What happened after ?
Swan and I were a bit relieved. We didn't have to hide anything. We told him everything we did so far, and other things.
I am ashamed to say that, but I took it as an opportunity to just live my life and distance myself from Drew.
I was starting to understand everything, but I didn't want to believe it. Even today, I still have a hard time believing it. It feels like I will forever mourn my love for him.
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katharsis
Short StoryFrom the moment I understood life, I never felt happiness ever again. -- It is a short story of how I lived my teenage years. It is my katharsis, leaving some things behind me with a much lighter heart. Read or not, I think writing to the world is b...