katharsis

- first rule about life -

Life is all about changes.

I grew up with little to nothing, I never had a family, and I never had friends to care for. The foster system was all desperate to find me a place to stay. I was quite the troubled kid. I was either too much for the first parents I had, or not enough for the other ones.

I used to think that something was wrong with me, that I was the one incapable of pleasing families. And I could have keep that train of thoughts bruising my brain til it's rotten and useless, but I soon learned that not everyone can stand me, not everyone can go through with a new kid when they already had someone to take care of.

I soon learned that I wasn't a dreadful kid, troubled yes, perhaps a bit too earnest and mouthy. Changes scare people, and to take in another human into a house already settled and alive? It must be one awful change of environment. Scary, and quite unpredictable.

To say that I wasn't scared myself would be mendacious. However, after going through 3 or 4 families, it was a habit to me, maybe not a good one, but something that didn't bother me as much as it did at the beginning.

Despite the fact that they all left me and fed my abandonment issues, they were all loving and caring. Everything I needed as a child since my father wasn't allowed to go near me, and my mother had passed by suicide.

It was all about changes.

It was on my fourth family I had met Swan. Now, this guy is the only constant character in my story; or at least, he is currently by the time I'm writing this, and hopefully, he will stick around until the day I die.

Swan's family consisted of 2 brothers (of which he was one) and an upcoming baby sister. Though, at that time, we didn't know she would be a girl.

I was 11, depressed and a little shit. Swan was 14 and a cool teenager (that is what I thought until I saw him getting bullied by his classmates). Among the family, I was much closer to Swan. His father was wary of me. Not that I had the tendency to have a threatening behaviour towards any of them, but I think he thought I was dangerous to myself.

And he wasn't entirely wrong considering what had happened during my stay with them.