SIDUNG (Highlander Series 01)

CHAPTER 11

Busy kaming pareho ni Aki, we don't have enough time to see each other. Malapit na ang final exam para sa 4th quarter, kailangan naming mag fucos pero hindi iyon ang dahilan para hindi niya ako ichat. He always update me and I do the same thing also. Months had passed and he is still courting me. Sa ngayon wala pa sa utak ko ang sagotin siya but i already planned when and where.

I am busy packing all my things, fixing my staffs so that i could go home already. Dali dali akong lumabas ng ssg office room at lumabas ng campus. Madilim na kasi at mukhang uulan pa. As i was walking pansin ko ang cafe shop sa gilid. Now Open says at the glass door, walang ano anong dumapo ang mata ko sa gilid, kitang kita ang dalawang tao mula sa loob.

They look good being together, smiling, slowly chuckling and busy talking about I don't know. Aki seems so calm, his face are more than a brighter star. How i wish i was the one sitting in front of he but no. It is his ex, his first love, first crush and his first girl. 

I turn my back, why did God let me see those things?. I don't know what is more heavier is it my bag or my heart? I can't determine it either. Tulala ako habang naglalakad, sobrang bigat ng aking nararamdaman. Masakit pero walang luhang lumalabas sa aking mata, I feel so drained and I really don't know where it came from. I know I am that tired but not like this that I am drained and feel no energy running in my veins.

As soon as  I got home, I isolate myself in my room. Feel the rooms emptiness, tranquility and mixed emotions roaming around. What will be my next step after witnessing all of those things, I am always afraid of finding answers, afraid of getting hurt and facing what is real. For this time just let me rest first. But, how can I rest with all of this questions running in my mind, with all this what ifs and doubts. Just how? to rest? to relax? to stop this pain?.

"Hoy bangun! (Hoy gising!)" tumagilid ako at nagtalukbong ng kumot. Wala akong pasok ngayon ano ba yan!. "Bangun enka mangan ay adam nangan ed nasdem ket (Gising para makakain kana hindi ka kumain kagabi)" saad ni kuya saka ulit ako niyugyog.

Inalis ko ang kumot at saka umupo sa aking bago humikab. "Hmmm! baho!" reklamo niya na kina irap ko. Babatuhin ko sana siya ng unan pero kumaripas ito ng takbo palabas sa aking kwarto. I look at the wall clock and its already 7 in the morning, napasarap pala  tulog ko. Then suddenly all the thoughts again appear in my mind.

Hinaplos ko ang aking mukha "Gadhhh!!" reklamo saka bumangon at inayos ang aking pinagtulugan bago pa lumala ang aking iniisip. Wala si mama nasa Monaco pa, it's about her career thats why she flew there. Well, I am happy that she is already okay, doing better than yesterday. Nadatnan ko si kuya na nagluluto kaya napasimangot ako, ginulo gulo yung tulog ko para kakain na daw ako tapos nagluluto pa pala.

He is busy singing, swaying his body while cooking. Habang ako dito panay ang simangot dahil hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kung maramdama. It all came back the feeling of emptiness, yung feeling mo may kulang talaga at kailangan mo iyong hanapin. I didn't hold my phone nasa kwarto lang ito, ayoko din naman na mag online.

"Apay sa yah? (Bakit yan?)" he ask then sit infront of me.

Busy siya sa kanyang cellphone, pangiti ngiti pa siya sa harapan ko habang ako dito nakahalumbaba at wala sa mood. "Sus" reklamo ko ng hindi matigil ang kanyang ngiti.