Troian Bellisario: Just Me & My Girl

Troian Tells All

The Next Day
Troian's Pov

I look at Keegan from across the room. We're on set waiting to film, and of course, both Keegan and Aspen are here. I'm trying to avoid him, and its been working so far. I just don't think I can look Keegan in the eyes right now. Luckily, my first scene is with Shay, Ashley, and Lucy, so I won't have to film with Keegan. I just hope we don't have to film alone together. I don't know if I would be able to do anything besides freeze up.

Marlene walks over to me and tells me we're about to start filming. I get up and follow her, avoiding the eye contact of Keegan as I pass him.

As I film my scene with the girls, I get so distracted that I mess up three times. My brain is focusing on Keegan and Aspen instead of my lines. Ashley studies me for a few seconds, realizing that I'm acting weirdly. I take a deep breath and tell myself to relax. I can think about my personal problems later.

After finishing filming the scene, I walk toward my dressing room where Aspen will be with Ian. Just as I turn the corner, I feel someone tap my shoulder. I stop and look behind me, finding Ashley.

"Hi." I say, already knowing what she's going to say.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asks "Because you seem...out of it. Like you're really distracted or something. You looked like you were gonna burst into tears at one point."

"No," I sigh "I'm not okay. I just...I think I...I'll tell you later Ash."

"You can tell me Troian," Ashley replies soothingly "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but just know that I'll be happy to listen and help in any way I can." I smile, relaxing slightly at Ashley's comforting words.

"Thanks," I say truthfully "That really means a lot, Ashley."

"What are friends for?" She says happily. I smile, deciding if I should tell anyone about my suspicion. It may just sound dumb, I have no proof.

"Ashley?" I ask shakily "If I tell you, will you promise me you won't tell anyone else?" I'm just worried that this will somehow find its way to Keegan, and I can't have him knowing I think he's Aspen's dad. Not yet, anyway.

"Of course I wouldn't tell anyone, Troian." She says "Not if you didn't want me to." I nod, preparing to tell Ashley about my suspicion. She's one of my best friends, and I can trust her.

"Come here," I say, pulling Ashley around the corner. I look around to make sure no one is near us, then prepare to tell Ashley.

"I-I think I might know who Aspen's dad is." I admit. Her eyes widen.

"Who?!" She asks eagerly.

"Well," I say "I don't know for sure. It's just a guess."

"Stop stalling," Ashley says "You can tell me."

"I'm not stalling!" I protest.

"Yes you are." Ashley retorts.

"No I'm not!" I urge impatiently.

"Then tell me who you think Aspen's dad is!" Ashley begs loudly.

"Shhh!" I widen my eyes "Don't talk so loud!"

"Sorry," Ashley apologizes, now whispering "But you can trust me Troian. I won't tell anyone, and I'm not going judge you or anything."

I nod "I know, it's just kind of crazy sounding."

"Do I know him?" Ashley asks quizzically.

I widen my eyes and nod "Oh yeah, you definitely know him."

"You're really making me want to know now." Ashley sighs.

"Fine," I exhale loudly "I'll tell you. Just don't tell anyone."

"You're stalling again." Ashley states blankly.

"I am not!" I argue back.

"Fine, then say it right now." Ashley replies "Don't say anything else, just the name." I stare at her for a few seconds before working up enough courage to answer.

"Keegan."

Her eyes widen "As in Allen?!"

"Stop judging!" I whine "You promised you wouldn't judge!"

"I'm not judging, Troian!" Ashley retorts "I'm just asking if it's Keegan Allen."

"Yes," I admit "Well I don't know if it actually is, but that's who I'm suspecting."

"Oh," Ashley says "Well, why? Why just all of a sudden him?"

"Because," I explain "Look at his eyes. And his hair. They're identical to Aspen's."

"It could be a coincidence?" Ashley half asks "Do you want him to be her dad?"

I shrug "Not really. Well, I don't exactly know. Here, try and imagine this: Imagine that you had a baby, and for four years, you never found out who the dad was."

"Ok," Ashley says, trying to imagine it.

"And then suddenly, you find out that your child's dad may be Tyler." I say. Ashley gasps.

"That's weird!" Ashley exclaims.

"It's more than that!" I say "It's hard to explain exactly what it feels like. Part of me wants Aspen's dad to be Keegan because it's someone she already knows and loves, but another part of me doesn't want it to be him because it would absolutely destroy our relationship. Just imagine finding out you have a child with one of your best friends."

"You don't know for sure that it's him," Ashley reassures me "Just keep your head up."

"Oh I'm trying." I exhale loudly. Ashley pulls me into a hug.

"It'll all work out, Troian." She says into my hair "And if you ever want someone to talk to about this, I'm here. Just let me know how I can help."

"Thanks Ash." I say as I pull away from our hug.

"Anytime." She smiles.

I walk toward my dressing room so I can see Aspen before I start filming again. I have only one thing in mind the entire time: Avoid Keegan at all costs. I don't know what I would do if I had to look into his eyes right now. Probably a whole lot of nothing. I would just freeze up, and anything I tried to say wouldn't come out. Just the thought of having to talk to Keegan makes me nervous.

I open the door to my dressing room, excited to see my little girl. As she sees me, her face lights up.

"Mommy!" Aspen exclaims, running over to me. Just as I pick her up, I see the person sitting on the couch. My whole body tenses, and I immediately get the urge to leave my dressing room. But my feet won't move. I just stare at him, and he stares back. The person I vowed to avoid. Keegan.