Troian Bellisario: Just Me & My Girl

More Than Friends?

The Next Day
Troian's Pov

"Cut!" The director yells for the third time. I sigh, running my fingers nervously through my hair. I'm filming a scene with Keegan right now, not just any scene, but a kissing scene. Well, at least I'm trying to. The first time we tried to film the scene, I just couldn't bring myself to kiss Keegan, so I backed away and blamed it on the fact that I was about to sneeze. The second time, Keegan messed up one of his lines before we even got to the kiss, which I was thankful for. And the third time, I purposely pretended to trip so we wouldn't have to kiss. But I can't keep putting it off. This is work, my personal life shouldn't affect the scenes we film, at least while the cameras are rolling. The tension between me and Keegan doesn't matter, because right now, we're Spencer and Toby.

"Hey Troian, can I talk to you for a minute?" I hear Marlene ask from behind me. As I turn around, I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks.

"Oh, uh, yeah." I stammer, following Marlene down the hallway. She stops and leans against the wall, a forced-looking smile on her face.

"Troian, is everything okay?"

I look down at my shoes, at Spencer's shoes, trying to figure out what to tell her. Even though I love Marlene and would tell her a lot of things, I'm not ready to spill everything yet.

I take a deep breath "W-well, I'm not ready to share exactly everything yet, but Keegan and I...we're just..."

"It's okay, Troian." Marlene says "You don't have to tell me anything else, if you don't feel comfortable. Your private life is still your private life, no matter what."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh "But it shouldn't affect how I play Spencer. My problems shouldn't carry on to be hers."

"Theoretically, yes." Marlene replies "But who plays Spencer? You. Even though you're Spencer when the cameras are rolling, you're still you inside your head. You can think your own thoughts, which means your personal problems can affect the way you play Spencer."

"But they shouldn't." I retort "I shouldn't have a problem kissing Keegan, because really, I'm kissing Toby."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Troian." Marlene sighs "We can film a different scene for now if you want time to prepare for the kiss."

"No," I say "We don't have to do that. I'm going to be professional about this."

Marlene smiles "Okay."

We walk back to the set, my hands held nervously behind my back. Just be confident I think to myself, then let my hands hang freely at my sides. I look at Keegan, who sits in a chair talking to one of the camera crew members. He looks so relaxed and carefree, as if the kiss we shared at my house never even happened. The problem is, every time we go to kiss as Spencer and Toby, I can help but think that we're locking lips as Troian and and Keegan.

"Troian? Keegan? You guys ready now?" Marlene asks. We both nod, walking over to our marks. I can do this, I can do this.

"Rolling sound," I hear the director say "Aaand action!"

~~~

Thankfully, we filmed the scene successfully. Now, I'm on my lunch break and going to see Aspen, who is with Shay in her dressing room. I knock on her paper-pizza-covered dressing room door, then open it.

"Mommy!" Aspen exclaims, running toward me. I scoop her up in my arms and shower her with kisses as she giggles happily.

"Guess what." Aspen says as we sit down on the couch.

"What?" I ask, glancing over at a smiling Shay beside me.

"I learned how to tie my shoes!" Aspen exclaims, sticking her brown boot-clad foot out to the side.