Troian Bellisario: Just Me & My Girl

You Know What They Say About Hope

Later That Night
Troian's Pov

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" I ask Keegan as I notice him yawning.

"Yeah, sure." He replies sleepily. I cuddle up to him and focus back on the movie we're watching, feeling a little tired myself. Then, I remember something.

"I totally forgot, but I work tomorrow at 5:30am." I groan "I should really go to bed."

"Oh," Keegan replies "Yeah, it's nearly midnight. You're going to be so tired tomorrow morning."

"That's unpreventable." I laugh "But yeah, I should definitely go to bed. Me and Aspen will be gone by the time you get up, so just lock the door when you leave. And Ella will be in her crate, so if you don't mind letting her out to pee quickly, that would be very appreciated."

"I've got an idea." Keegan replies, completely avoiding everything I just said.

"What?" I ask, yawning.

"How about I stay here with Aspen tomorrow? I don't have work, and I have nothing else planned." He suggests "We can take Ella to the park, Aspen and I can go for lunch, we'd have lots of fun."

"It's fine, Keegan. She can come to set with me." I say "If tomorrow's your free day, you should keep it that way. It's always nice to have those once in a while. I can't ask you to spend your entire day off with my four year old, that won't be very relaxing."

"But Troian, this is what I want to do on my day off." He pleads "It's not a problem, I absolutely love hanging out with Aspen. She...she could be my daughter, too." I blink twice, slightly taken aback by his statement. Sure it may be true, but I'm kind of surprised that he said it.

"Yeah, um, you're right." I stammer "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." Keegan sighs "I shouldn't have said that, it's still kind of a touchy topic."

"Well," I say, sitting up so I can properly look into his gorgeous blue eyes "Maybe if we talk about it, it won't be so touchy."

Keegan nods, wrapping his arm around me. He doesn't say anything, but does seem to want to do so. Clearly, the topic is still pretty touchy.

"Do you think Aspen's my daughter?" Keegan asks. The look in his eyes is one I wouldn't quite expect to see. He almost looks...scared.

"W-well, I think so." I stutter "At least I hope so. Aspen loves you Keegan, and she would be the happiest little girl if she found out you were her dad. And I'd be the happiest mom." He cracks a small smile, the scared look fading from his eyes.

"You both mean so much to me." Keegan says "If Aspen was my daughter, everything would be so perfect. We would have a perfect little family, we'd just be two people raising their daughter together." I smile, trying to imagine that as my reality. It sure is nice to think.

"When do you want to go and do the paternity test?" I ask.

"I don't know." Keegan sighs "But I think that when the time is right, we'll know. But I wanna wait a little longer, just until we settle into everything a bit more."

"I totally get what you mean, because I feel the same way." I explain "And if you are Aspen's dad, I don't want her to feel as if she has to suddenly change the way she is around you just because you're given a new title. You'll still be the same person that she knows and loves. But I just want her to think of you as a father figure before we drop that bomb on her."

"Definitely." Keegan replies "I don't want this to be uncomfortable for her. I want her to be happy."

"She'll be happy." I tell him "Aspen doesn't care if you share the same DNA as her, as long as you're in her life she'll be happy."

Keegan kisses the top of my head, his warm breath comforting. He doesn't say anything else, but the silence answers for him. There's no need to discuss the topic anymore, because I know, we know, that whatever happens will happen. We can't change whatever the DNA test says.

"Let's head up to bed." Keegan says, keeping his arm wrapped around me. We walk up the stairs to the bedroom, then crawl under the duvet blanket. But after no more than a few seconds of laying down, I get out of bed again. I mutter that I'll be right back to Keegan, then walk out into the hallway. I quietly make my way to Aspen's room, pushing open the slightly ajar door. I crouch down next to my daughters bed, where she sleeps peacefully with her stuffed tiger in her arms. Ella sleeps next to her, even though Aspen fully knows that I want the dog to sleep in her own bed, which is on the floor right next to her bed. But still, Aspen always lifts Ella up onto her bed, probably thinking that I don't know she does so. Although I don't really mind, cuddling with a dog all night is so relaxing.

I just stare at Aspen, my beautiful little daughter, taking in how perfect she is. I love her so much, and all I want is for her to be happy. I don't know what I intended on doing by coming into Aspen's room, but just being next to her makes me feel better. About everything that's not going the way I hoped, especially the fact that I still don't have an answer on who her dad is. I hate that I can't tell her, I absolutely hate it. Watching Aspen look at kids her age play with their dads kills me, because I know that she's wondering where her dad is, and why she doesn't get to have fun with him. When she starts kindergarten, I want Aspen to be able to make a Father's Day card just like all the other kids in class, and not have to tell the teacher that she doesn't have a dad to make a card for. I know Aspen would be so much happier being able to call someone her dad, I just don't know when or if that's going to happen.

After lightly kissing her forehead, I leave Aspen's room and walk back to my own, where Keegan lays underneath the blankets. Without saying anything, I crawl into bed, snuggling up next to him. As I slowly drift off to sleep, I think about how amazing it would be if Keegan was Aspen's dad. At this point, I can only hope.

~~~

A/N: I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. I'm so sorry. But hopefully I'll start updating on a more regular basis.

❤️ you guys.