Reborn from the ashes from hell

5 It is die or be dead

Izuku POV

Hahahahahahah. They made a mistake locking me up like that. I wasn't looking for freedom before, but now that I felt the confinement of my cage, I was looking for freedom. I didn't have a single minute left with my three new friends. Not one person who had been with me was not gone. My teacher, my friends, they were all taken away from me and now I was in a empty cage with only a view. What could I have done but read and dream on a future? But now it was not only dreaming it was planing 

Flashback

The 30 minutes I got to sleep every day I used to read and the 30 I got to be in the garden I also used to read. I would pull so often a all nighter until I started seeing colourful stars in my vision, knowing I would pass out at any moment. I had a lot of knowledge about plants. And on the small island we were on, there were very different types of plants. And I wanted to use my knowledge to escape. I've lost everything there is to lose here.

How am I supposed to save other people from themselves if I can't manage to save myself? Bit by bit, I'm sinking into the senselessness that my friends have also found themselves in. I don't want this. I really don't want that. I want to be happy. I want to cry feel joy or her laughter of other people, to wear anything but this mask with this damned smile. When in reality I'm miserable.

Is it the lack of sleep, the new medication or rather drugs they are trying out on me or the loneliness that is slowly but surely driving me crazy and destroying my soul and the souls of others.

Every time I had 30 minutes to sleep, I would theorize and write everything down. I wanted to construct a drug that would make me pass out for several hours, maybe days, and stop my heartbeat completely. After that happened, the drug would make my heart beat start again. I wanted to escape by playing dead.

I've read so many books where that really happened, where prisoners escaped from prison like that. The only problem was my heartbeat. I am not in era where it is easy to play dead. 100 years ago it could have been easy. After months of research, where I started just falling to the floor like that. Training , reading, pass out, I finally did it.

Ron called me to him several times and asked about my situation. And more often, much more often, they would test things on me to give me more energy. I would work but then make myself ten times as tired later.

It was hard to get all the things I needed for this drug. I needed so much chemical stuff. That I eventually gave up and made everything out of plants.

I had a tolerance to poisons, so I was sure that would work. I didn't have to steal a few things.

Some of the things I had to get were thornapple, morning glory and pufferfish I really felt like an alchemist. Because everything I did was more theoretical. If I wanted my death fashion, I don't know what would happen to me. Maybe they would even autopsy me. I had to do it in a way that was so clear that I had died in such a way that I wouldn't have to be autopsied.

I had the perfect idea. How would that be possible, but could it give me freedom. Freedom from this damned prison and what more could I want. My soul is dying more and more every day. I'm afraid I'll soon become the same the others were in the eyes dead. Not that I'll be able to compare them then.

I write a farewell letter about how crazy this whole thing is making me, how pointless I am. Slowly we training is slowly crushing me more and more, like the only thing I crave anymore is freedom. Even if that is total garbage. I put down the note I wrote

I have found the key to freedom. I take the drug. I'm already dizzy, but I climb onto the stool, take the noose in my hand and put it around my neck, then I gently push the stool away. I do it so gently that there is no chance of my neck breaking.

It's 8:02 at exactly 8:05 when Ron comes to wake me up and take me to my workout. I'm probably already halfway on my way to freedom.

Flashback end