Falling into the Chaos

Seventeen: Diwali and the soft sparks.

Aditya

I busied myself with the last-minute Diwali preparations, trying to focus on the checklist in my hand.

The house was a flurry of activity-workers hanging lights... arranging flowers.

I directed them from a distance, making sure everything was perfect, but my mind was elsewhere.

Zoya and Cheeku were in the living room, their laughter and cheerful voices carrying through the house. They were engrossed in decorating, their playful banter a constant reminder of how much I wanted to be with them....both of them.

But after that kiss, I needed to stay away from Zoya.

"Sir, where should we place these lanterns?" one of the workers asked, pulling me back to the task at hand.

"Just hang them along the balcony," I replied, forcing a smile. "Make sure they're evenly spaced."

I moved around the house, checking on the progress. The workers were doing a great job, and it gave me an excuse to stay out of the main area where Zoya was.

I couldn't face her yet, not after the intensity of that moment we shared. It had been overwhelming, and I needed time to process everything.

It had been overwhelming, and I needed time to process everything.... My desires had taken over...my long lost crush was back.

Even yesterday's conversation had taken a lot of effort and self-control.

I wasn't really trying to talk to her, but seriously, who lives on just coffee and a fucking pudding?...The thought of her stumbling around because she hadn't eaten properly infuriated me and made me worry in equal measure.

My heart ached to be close to her, but I knew I needed to get my head straight first.
I focused on the tasks at hand, trying to keep myself busy, but my thoughts always drifted back to her. Every time I looked at her, I felt a pull so strong it was impossible to ignore.

As I walked past the living room, I stole a glance at them. Zoya was helping Cheeku string marigolds together, her face lit up with joy. Cheeku was giggling, his tiny hands clumsily trying to tie the flowers. The sight warmed my heart, but it also made it ache with longing.

"Adi, can you help us with the fairy lights?" Zoya called out, looking up and catching my eye.

I hesitated for a moment, then shook my head. "I'll have one of the workers assist you... I need to check on the other arrangements."

She looked slightly disappointed, but nodded. "Okay...no problem."

I walked away, my chest tight. Avoiding her was harder than I thought. Every fiber of my being wanted to be near her, to talk to her, to hold her.

But I couldn't risk losing control.... again. Not with Cheeku around, not with so many things left unsaid.

"The sweets are here," another worker informed me, pointing to the boxes that had just been delivered.

"Great, set them up on the dining table," I instructed, glad for the distraction. "Make sure everything is in place for tomorrow."