Falling into the Chaos

Three: Battles with life, trucks...and pirates.

“I want to support you,” Dhara said as I shoved another box into my back seat. “I also want to make sure you’re not diving headfirst into a depressive, destructive situation.”

“I have a reasonable amount of depression,” I said from inside the SUV.
Two days after talking to Mr. Ahmed, I’d consolidated my things down to the essentials, taken a leave of absence from my school, and felt truly, actually alive for the first time in too long. “The appropriate amount. All things considered.”

“And how about the destructive? Taking a year off from school and leaving me with god only knows who to teach with has to be a pinch destructive.”

I leaned out of the SUV to catch her gaze.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said.

“I didn’t mean to screw you over in the process. I just—” I stared down the street for a moment.

“You need a break from it all,” she said.
“I get it. But what do we even know about Mussoorie? I mean yeah...okay... Tourist spot, mountains and stuff...but is it a good place to live? ...if yes ..then until when???”

“It’s a beautiful town." I said, using my hands to illustrate the two sides.

“Answer me this,” she said, her hands settling on her hips. “Will there be bears?”

“What? No. At least I don’t think so. No, no bears. I never heard about bears when I lived there in high school.” I stared down at the sidewalk. Shit.
Now I was wondering about bears.

“And what are you going to do on a farm?” Dhara continued. “I’ve known you for six years and not once in that time did you give me the impression that you know anything about teas. Fuck it, I refuse to believe that you can keep a cactus alive.”

"That's a stretch." I laughed. “I don’t. I have no clue what I’m going to do with the tea garden or the land or anything. But I’ll substitute in the local school district and—I don’t know.”

I had a comfortable amount of savings. I could be a little reckless right now. The engagement ring tucked into my wallet’s coin purse promised I could be slightly more reckless if necessary. “I’ll figure it out as I go.”

The only plan was that I didn’t have a plan, and that wasn’t going to slow me down. It was senseless but so was the rest of my life right now.

Might as well stop trying to fight it.

She handed me the last laundry basket, one filled with bedsheets, a cast iron Dutch oven, three boxes of cheese crackers, and a tangled mess of charger cables.

“I expect regular check-ins with you. I’m not talking about a few texts here and there. You’ll video call me, understand? Don’t make me introduce myself to the Musoorie Police Department and send them out on a wellness check.”

“I’ll call,” I said. “We haven’t gone more than a few days without talking in years. You think I’m going to start now?”

She waved her arms at my SUV. “You’re starting a lot of things that you don’t usually do. I just want to be clear about the ground rules. And don’t eat a whole box of cheese crackers on the drive. You’ll get a stomachache and then you’ll be in a terrible mood.”

“Okay, Mom,” I teased.

“You joke but I’m completely serious,” she replied. “I know how you get when you binge on cheese.”

“I’ll call you when I get there,” I said, stepping forward to pull her into a hug. “Thank you for Mommying all over me.”

“You’re welcome,” she said against my shoulder. “I’m only one call away. Say the word and I’ll be there.”