Love Director [ENG]

Chapter 47: It's not wrong to be possessive. It's wrong not to be jealous

"Actually, he didn't tell me himself that he was getting married. I heard it from someone else and went to ask him. That's when he said our love had no future, just like you probably heard from Plerng. But Plerng didn't tell you, did he, that I crawled like a dog, begging, pleading for him to say it was all a joke, that it was all a lie, that he was just teasing me, just planning a surprise? But what Kim said was... let's break up."

Paint came to Aphros' house because he was afraid his phi would barbecue some meat, but instead, he found himself sitting on the sofa, listening to his phi recount past stories.

Stories Paint didn't want to hear... the love his phi gave to someone else. He understood now why Aphros didn't like talking about Phi Gus. Hearing that his phi had loved someone so much that he knelt on the ground made his lips tighten. He felt both angry and hateful towards that person but remained silent. He just lowered his head, letting his phi hug him and listening to the deep voice.

"When I drove away, I wasn't drunk, but I was more like someone out of their mind. My brain shut down, and I kept crying. I came to my senses when the car headlights shone in, and instinct made me swerve. I survived the crash, but it felt like dying. Waking up to find everything that happened wasn't a dream but reality, I even asked myself why I didn't just die. Why wake up at all?"

Paint squeezed his phi's hand tightly, his head shaking in fear. He looked up, panicked. Plerng never told him that Aphros wanted to die, and he was terrified by the thought that his phi had once wanted to die.

"It's okay. I'm fine now, Paint. Just back then. Now, why would I want to die? I won't leave my young partner behind; what if someone else took you? That would be terrible." Aphros hugged him, stroking his back until the fear subsided. Paint hugged him back.

"It was just a fleeting thought. You should've seen Phai and Plerng crying, only Phen was waving her hand saying she wanted to be the first to sign my cast." Aphros said with a smile, stroking his hair. "The moment I saw them crying, their little hands holding mine and begging me not to die, no matter how much it hurt, I didn't want to die anymore. If I died, they would cry even more. I didn't want the people I love to be sad."

Paint hated his phi's ex even more. Despite knowing Aphros for a shorter time than that person, he could see how much he cared for those he loved. He could imagine how much his phi must have suffered seeing his nieces and nephews begging him not to die, not to mention Plerng's parents. Aphros must have felt guilty for scaring everyone with that accident. And back then, he must have been in so much pain, not just physically but emotionally. And his ex didn't even care.

"Had he never visited you?" Paint gritted his teeth and asked.

"Never." the other replied, shaking his head.

"Did he call?"

"No."

"Send any get-well gifts?"

"Never saw any."

"He never even wished you a speedy recovery?" Paint asked, eyes burning, and Aphros shook his head slowly.

"Did he... not know?" Paint tried to find some good in Kim, but the answer he got made him hate even more.

"I don't want to be arrogant, but the news of my accident was nationwide. It was front-page news for a week; there's no way he didn't know. Even if he didn't, the people around him would have known. He just didn't come," Aphros continued to stroke his hair, comforting him, which made Paint ask. "Phi, how can you still smile?"

"Because I have people who care for me and get jealous too."

The listener bit his lip hard, trying to hold back tears. Paint had been hurt just because Phi Gus sang a song for Phi Nin. How would Aphros have felt when the person he loved was getting married while he was fighting for his life? Just thinking about it made tears well up, his nose start to burn, and his hands tighten around Aphros's shirt.