Clare Of Utopia

CHAPTER 12: A gift

Clare burst into her room and sank to the floor, her face buried in the mattress. Alex soon came barging in, still in a jog as he was trying to catch up with his sister. Shutting the door close behind him, Alex rushed towards his sister and held her by her shoulders, trying to peel her off the mattress.

"Clare, please talk to me," he said. "It will make you feel better. Don't shut yourself out."

Clare couldn't find the strength in herself to look at him, let alone talk. How could he be so indifferent about this, she wondered.

"Clare, please look at me," Alex pleaded again. She finally lifted her head and looked at him with bloodshot eyes but not a single tear in sight.

"Stop acting like you're strong," she said with a shaky voice. "I know you're hurt too. You just lost your throne for heaven's sake!"

Alex looked at her with a sad smile.

"I'm not hurt, Clare," he said calmly. "It's ok. I've always expected this."

"Expecting something is different than actually facing it, Alex. And besides, I'm sure you wouldn't have expected it to happen this soon," Clare tried to reason.

"Yes. I didn't expect it this soon," Alex agreed. "But strangely," he scoffed out a laugh, "I'm not as heart broken as I thought I would be. Guess I always thought of you as the heir and not me."

Clare didn't know what to reply to her brother's words. She didn't even know whether he was meaning it. She had always boasted about how much she understood her brother but right then, it felt like the most difficult task in the world.

Leaving no room for further conversation, a butler was let in after a knock on the door.

"Duke Benjamin and Lord Ben are requesting to meet you, princess," he said. Clare, who already stood up the minute the butler entered along with Alex, agreed to meet them. After a minute or so, the Duke and lord of Gloracia and the royal siblings of Utopia, gathered at the meeting hall of the princess' chamber.

"Thank you for your time, princess," lord Ben said with his eyes trained down. There was no hint of joy in his voice, contrast to their previous encounters. Classandra just nodded her approval and gestured to him to take a seat beside Duke Benjamin. The Duke was studying Clare's face with a warm, wide smile.

"Alexandra...!" He finally said in a dreamy voice. "You have grown so much!"

This was the first time Alex was meeting him face to face. He knew that the Duke was close with the late king but never knew how close until then. He had met Clare while she was young, he realized. Clare was just two years older than Alex and yet, somehow, she has seen more than him. She was exactly two years old when the Union won the war against the Drokens, the same year Alexander was born. The reason that led people to think that he was the blessed child. She was always kept a secret for the fear of losing her due to the prophecy.

"I wanted to give you this," Duke Benjamin said, breaking Alex's train of thought. There was something in his hand, wrapped in crumbled paper, securely wound with a golden chord. "It was said to be given to you at the right moment by your father. Open it when your heart becomes one with the soul and mind," the Duke said.

"How do I know I've achieved that?" Clare asked in a low voice as she got the packet from him.

"When you're ready, you'll know," he said with a smile. Classandra looked confused yet nodded in affirmation.

"I don't know what is inside, but I've been instructed to handle it with great care. Hope you will do the same," the Duke said. Classandra nodded again, not being able to bring any words out, still choking on the newly found news of the coronation.

The Duke of Gloracia took support from Ben as he got up. The Duke looked peaceful this time. There was no confusion on his face. No one considered him to be mad anymore, for he was the only one who had known.

Soon, the princess' chamber was empty, leaving her to her own thoughts. Alex left after Clare said that she needed solitude. She laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling art she had painted, with no thought in particular, for she was scared that if she allowed herself to think, the outcomes would be drastic.

A moonless night fell accompanied by eerie silence. Not a single light in the sky, just like her future, Clare thought. She skipped dinner and not a soul came to change her mind about the decision. She was still lying on the bed at the exact same position from three hours ago that her limbs went numb. She closed her eyes and wished herself to sleep, but to no one's surprise, couldn't. Please let me fall asleep, she begged to no one in particular, and strangely, found it answered as she drifted to a dreamless slumber.

As usual, Clare woke up before the sun did. Dragging herself out of her bed, she walked to explore her closet. Even after being announced as the crown princess, she didn't feel obliged to dress to please others, even though that was her first thought when she entered the closet. Pushing around the dresses that were hanging, she found solace in her usual clothes. Finding a bright colour peeking out from behind her dresses, she pushed it to the side to explore it. Clare couldn't comprehend how she forgot the painting she made here. Even through age, it hasn't lost its colour. The painting was of a beautiful flower named Prathilipi. Looking at it with longing, Clare remembered all the stories and legends her father told about this flower. As time passed, Clare shivered, leaving out a heavy breath, dreading a decision she was going to make, because she just let herself think.