Clare Of Utopia

CHAPTER 23: The contemplation

Clare's life had turned upside down in a matter of days. The courage she felt moments ago had already started to diminish. The legs that stood tall in the presence of her subjects now fumbled as she made her way to her chambers. The words she spoke were unlike any she had ever uttered before. The incident kept replaying in her mind, over and over. She didn't regret it, though. No. She would never regret it. The law had to be passed to maintain peace. King Christopher was like poison in a grand meal. Clare couldn't just let him go. No, she definitely did not regret it.

But the look on the little girl's face after she issued the law... Clare had never regretted anything more. Scaring the child to the bone wasn't her intention. And oh, the look on her brother's and mother's faces. Why did they look at her as if she had just committed a deadly sin? She didn't do anything wrong... did she?

The guards opened the chamber doors as Classandra approached, letting her pass through without missing a beat. She had only traversed a portion of the corridors, counting a minimum of ten guards, with many more spotted along the way. Why were they positioned here? Clare tried to ignore them, but their eyes felt like poking swords—too painful to withstand.

"The reason for your positions?" Classandra asked, abruptly stopping in her tracks.

"These are your personal guards, Your Majesty," a voice from behind said. Clare turned to spot the steward, who had apparently followed her after the ceremony. "They are placed for your security."

Clare couldn't wrap her mind around the thought of being an entertainment for the bystanders.

"Reduce the security," she ordered. "Maybe place them at entrances, but not inside my chambers."

"Of course, my queen," the steward bowed. Immediately after, Clare marched off to her private quarters and sat on the bed with a thud.

Her mind went blank as the quietness engulfed her. Her eyes lost concentration as it pinned at a random spot. And then...

The door barged open.

"You owe me an explanation, young lady!" Elizabeth barged in with a look of a ferocious beast.

"You told me to act like a queen," Clare said with lack of enthusiasm, "so I did."

"A queen?!" The mother queen scowled. "A queen must first acquire the trust of her citizens before going off and doing something stupid!"

"I did nothing stupid!" Clare screamed. Elizabeth looked behind her to spot eavesdroppers, closing the door immediately after. "I did what had to be done!"

"You don't exile someone for proposing marriage, Classandra!" her mother said through gritted teeth.

Classandra's eyebrows knit with confusion, her eyes finding her mother's for a much needed explanation. Her mother didn't seem to answer her silent question so she went ahead and said, "I did not exile him for the marriage proposal."

"It pretty much looked like it," Elizabeth said nonchalantly.

Rage fumed Classandra's head, her face scrunching up with disgust. Her eyes turned a strange shade of orange, resembling a wild fire. Her rational thoughts left her, the questions how, what and why all clashing into one another, on repeat in her head.

"That does not mean I believe it," Clare's mother spoke out, trying her best to make her voice as soothing as possible. "But please, next time, think of the consequences."

Clare didn't seem to respond in any kind, so Elizabeth continued, "rest assured, I will not marry you off to that scoundrel."

"I do not need your sympathy on that regard. I decide who I marry and who I don't and I can pretty much handle myself," Clare spoke curtly. Elizabeth felt a big hit in her heart with that statement.

"Alright," Elizabeth said in a thick voice. "Then let's go for the official matters. Why did you actually issue an exile?"

"I don't think I have to explain myself," Clare stated. The mother queen's eyebrows went up. Clare sighed as she continued, "he threatened me telling that he would overthrow me by manipulating the citizens and initiating the warrior games."

If it were ever so possible, Elizabeth's eyebrows went up even more. "He outright said that?" Elizabeth asked with a hushed voice. Clare could do nothing more than nod.

Elizabeth didn't know how to react or what to do for this had never happened in her entire duration of reign. The fact that Christopher actually explained his plan to her seemed suspicious. Why would he do that and immediately propose marriage? He must have wanted Clare to act rash to gain support, Elizabeth concluded. But, she was sure that he wouldn't have expected an exile, because, master plan or not, no king would want to be exiled from a kingdom.

"Now that you know," Clare breathed, pulling Elizabeth from her train of thought. "Please. Leave."

"Wha—"

"LEAVE!" Clare bellowed. Elizabeth left without another word.

A deafening silence followed, Clare's heavy breathing reverberating in her ears.

I did nothing wrong, she told herself. You did nothing wrong.

She had been alone a countless amount of times but never once had she felt lonely like today. Her legs roamed her quarters in their own accord, round and round and round, only stopping at her personal book stack. A book that was always meant for Clare but never truly felt belonged. Opening the hard bound cover, her father's face smiled at her through the portrait. Securing the portrait, she flipped the page to her father's handwriting.

Today, he had written, I have ventured beyond the limits and found the proof of our victory.

Today, he proclaimed, I bring back hope to my kingdom.

Today, he stated, I can't wait to be a father...

Clare shut the book close, her emotions overwhelming. She is no one's savior. Her birth doesn't signify anything. How can the birth of a baby girl lead an army to victory, she questioned.

This was just another day,she told herself. Breathe... You don't have to be a queen, at least for today. This is not the first day people are hating you. You'll survive...

With that, she went on to be herself just like any other day, doing everything she can to forget the elephant in the room.