It'll all be okay 🖤

chapter 1: the lake

The night was quiet. Siobhan had taken herself off to a nearby lake to calm herself. She'd gotten into an argument with Roger earlier in the night, she needed some time to herself.

The water glistened in the moonlight. It was late, around 2am, but Siobhan couldn't sleep. She decided to go for a drive and found herself here. The lake was her safe place. She'd come here often as a teenager after arguments with her parents. It was quiet. It was peaceful. The complete opposite to her home environment. She sat there, looking out as the water rippled, creating beautiful patterns. She often wondered why she felt comfort in watching the water. She was terrified of it. She didn't want those memories to resurface. She tried to think about something else.

She started picking at the grass beside her, her legs pulled up to her chest. She was cold but refused to move to get a jumper.

Her phone pinged. Once. Twice. Three times. Siobhan knew who it was. She didn't want to talk to him. She knew by ignoring him she was only making things worse for herself, but in this moment, she didn't care.

Her phone was ringing now. It had rung 5 times. Siobhan leaving it untouched on the grass next to her, instead continuing to look out at the lake. Siobhan rolled her eyes and decided to lay down on her back and look up at the stars. They were beautiful. She wondered if there was another world out there. A world where herself and her Grandma could live happily. She missed her.

Siobhan had a beautiful relationship with her Grandma. They spent most weekends together. Sometimes they would bake, making the biggest mess but creating the most beautiful memories. Sometimes they watched movies. They would cuddle up together on the sofa. Siobhan had never felt as safe as she had in her Grandma's arms. They were soft and warm. They held her when she laughed and they held her when she cried. She missed her. Siobhan always knew she could talk about anything that was bothering her. Her Grandma would simply just listen, without judgement, and stroke her hair as she lay in her lap. She always reassured her that one day she would be free, that one day she would be able to make her own choices and leave behind the world she was stuck in during her childhood. Her Grandma had faith that she would make the most of the opportunities in her life once she moved out of home. "It'll all be okay" these were the words her Grandma would always say to Siobhan. They brought her comfort. She truly hoped one day it would be okay. However Siobhan had let her down. She had not made the most of the opportunities. She had not left behind the world she was stuck in. Instead she had created a new cycle. A cycle which she had gotten herself into. How could she do this to herself? But how dare she do this to her Grandma.

As Siobhan lay there, she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, falling softly onto the grass. She missed her. She wondered if she was looking down on her. Siobhan probably didn't deserve it. She was a lost cause after all. She had pushed everyone away. She had made a reputation for herself. She knew she was hated. She had no one to blame but herself.

Siobhan wasn't sure how long she had been lying there. The stars were starting to disappear and the sky was beginning to get lighter. She looked at her phone. It was 5:30am. Shit. She needed to get home. Roger would be waiting. As she went to stand up she heard a voice. It was deep. It was familiar. She froze in fear.

"What have I told you about ignoring my texts and calls Siobhan? Get up NOW!"

Siobhan knew she'd fucked up. But his voice was angrier then she'd heard it before. She was in trouble. "It'll all be okay"