It'll all be okay 🖤

chapter 6: the beginning

Siobhan could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. She suddenly felt very sick. This was the box. She had found it.

Siobhan had many questions, including, where had her parents gone and why had they left the box for her? She was confused. Siobhan walked through the house slowly, she could feel her chest getting tight and the tears were slowly falling down her cheeks.

As she reached what used to be her bedroom, she peeked in and saw that it was empty. None of her belongings remained and the posters she had on her wall looked as though they had been ripped off in a hurry; pieces of them remained still stuck on her light purple wall with blue tack. It was getting too much for Siobhan. She made her way back down the hallway quickly, grabbing the box and holding it tight; just how she used to hold onto Lottie.

Siobhan turned and stood in the doorway one last time, before closing her eyes, taking a deep breath and closing the door behind her. She was leaving this part of her behind. This was the first step in her healing.

As Siobhan made the journey back home she gripped onto the steering wheel with all her strength. Her knuckles were white and her hands were starting to cramp. The box was sat on her lap; she refused to put it down, it was almost as though she was scared to hurt it. She wanted to protect what Lottie had left for her, just as she had protected Siobhan. As she pulled into the driveway she was relieved to see that Roger was still yet to return.

As Siobhan made her way into the house she kept the box held tight against her body. Her hands were shaking and she was unable to calm her racing heart. As Siobhan went and sat on the sofa, she couldn't bring herself to open a box filled with such love, in a house that brought her nothing but pain. She decided that some fresh air and a walk to the lake would help.

Whilst Siobhan was walking along the path, her mind was continuing to race, she was so unsure of the contents inside this box and she was worried she wouldn't be able to open it. She wished Lottie was here with her. She didn't think she could do this alone.

As Siobhan reached the lake, she looked up to see her car still sitting in the car park. She was so caught up in her own mind, that she didn't even realise she had taken Roger's spare car to her childhood house. At least she had a way to escape quickly if things got too much.

Siobhan made her way onto the small hill and sat herself down on the grass; the exact same spot she sat in the night before. She looked down at the brown box she was clutching. It'll all be okay. She took a deep breath and carefully tore the tape from around the box, wanting to preserve as much of it as she could.

As the last bit of the tape was carefully torn from the box, Siobhan sat there, staring at it, unable to remove the lid. The lump was quickly forming in her throat and tears were stinging her eyes. Siobhan slowly tilted her head back to look up at the sky;

"I promise I will open this. I know how much you want me to heal, I just really wish I had someone to do this with. I can't do this alone."

Siobhan closed her eyes before slowly lowering her head back down. It'll all be okay.

"Hiya, you alright?"

Siobhan jumped, not expecting anyone to be around, let alone hear her, she felt a bit embarrassed. As Siobhan looked over, she saw a woman standing in front of her. She had thick black hair cut into a bob, she was wearing a blue and white pinstripe shirt and black pants. She stood there looking at Siobhan with a small smile on her face, her hands in her pockets. Siobhan instantly recognised her. A feeling of safety suddenly washed over her. Something she hadn't felt since Lottie passed. A small grin appeared on Siobhan's face. Maybe she could do this.

Maybe she wouldn't have to do this alone.