It'll all be okay 🖤

chapter 11: thoughts

For Viv, having to leave Siobhan that afternoon was the last thing she wanted to do. Her mind was screaming at her to get her and take her far away to a safe place. Just the two of them. But reality hit her like a truck; no matter how desperately Viv wanted to get Siobhan the freedom she deserved, this would be a long process, and it broke her heart.

As Viv opened her phone to get an uber, she felt a lump form in her throat and figured walking home would do her good. She'd had a rough day at work, and whilst she would never change it for the world, sitting with Siobhan at the lake had exhausted the woman.

Whilst Vivian was good at remaining emotionally strong in these situations, needing this skill working as a nurse was vital, but it was a lot different when it's someone you care about compared to a patient, it starts to take a toll.

Whilst Viv was walking, she knew she needed to get her thoughts and feelings out somehow. Her usual tactic would be to go to the gym, but she was too tired.

That's when it clicked.

Siobhan was an avid letter writer growing up, and after reading through some of the letters with the blonde, she realised just how well she was able to articulate herself on paper.

The older woman realised this is exactly how she would be able to communicate with Siobhan.

As Viv got home, she found a piece of paper and a pen and began writing.

Dearest Siobhan,

Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. I still vividly remember the first time I saw you at the nursery; the way you caught my eye, I knew in that moment I was going to dedicate myself to helping you.

I believe it was a blessing that we crossed paths at the lake.

I saw you. I saw the pain you were trying so hard to suppress.

You're so strong did you know that? I know sometimes you might not think it, but you are. I see the wall you try to put up, and I know you think it's necessary. You are so desperate to protect your inner peace, to not fall victim to the world around you. But it's not necessary my darling. Let people see you, the real you. Let them help you.

You are so brave Siobhan. For every tear that falls, I'm proud. For every hug you give me, I'm proud. I know how hard it is for you. But I see you. I'm here for you; and I'm not going anywhere, whether you like it or not. You can be vulnerable with me darling. I'll protect you. Forever and always.

What's going on in that pretty mind of yours? Will you let me in? The facade you pride yourself in upholding, you don't need it around me, I will never judge you. Ever. I can see you trying to fix the mask the second it starts to slip. You don't need to do that okay?

Siobhan my darling it's okay to cry, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay not to be okay. You don't need to stay silent, and you don't need to do this alone. I will listen. I will hold you. I will be whatever you need me to be.

So please, all I ask is that you let me in. Let me help you. I will pride myself in protecting your heart. My life has changed now, but it's for the better. I have a purpose now Siobhan.

And my purpose is you. 

Love Always,
Viv xx

As Vivian placed the pen back on the table, she felt a weight lifted from her shoulders. She wasn't quite sure what the future had planned for her, but she knew Siobhan would be apart of it.

Things were changing for both women; and as they sat on their respective sofas, all they could think about was holding each other in their arms. They wanted to protect them from the world and all the pain that came with it. Deep within their hearts they knew this is always how it was meant to be.

It would be Siobhan and Vivian forever.

And their story is just getting started.

.