It'll all be okay 🖤

chapter 4: the letter

TW: MENTIONS OF DV AND ABUSE

As the panic set in for Siobhan, she wrapped her arms around her body in an attempt to calm herself. She could feel the anger radiating off of Roger and didn't want to think of what he would do to her. She didn't dare move until Roger told her to. She belonged to him.

Roger had gotten out of the car and was heading up the steps towards the house, he was unaware that Siobhan was still sitting in the car waiting for him to tell her what to do.

"Siobhan! Get out of the car now!" Siobhan could hear his words but she was unable to move. Fuck. She was stuck in a battle between her mind and her body; neither deciding to communicate. Her mind was telling her to get up and get out, meanwhile her body was frozen and she couldn't move. It'll all be okay.

"Siobhan!" His voice was filled with rage and Siobhan knew she had only seconds before he'd snap and lose complete control of his anger. She managed to look up at him but quickly looked back down. He came racing down to the passenger side of the car flinging the door open. He bent over so his face was right next to Siobhan's ear, "how dare you disobey me, you are making me angry Siobhan, you belong to me and you must listen." The warmth of his breath sent shivers down her spine, she jolted. As he stepped back and watched her get out of the car, a smirk appeared across his face; he had found a true weakness in Siobhan and finally knew exactly how to control her with his words.

As Siobhan made her way up the steps, Roger followed close behind. She was terrified. She knew the second that large oak door closed behind them, he was going to punish her. She had no idea how right she was.

The door closed with such softness that it actually scared Siobhan more than if the door were to slam. He was making sure no attention had been brought to the couple.

As she heard Roger put his keys on the hallway table, she turned around to face him. His face was flushed red, his eyes were filled with so much rage. He was shaking slightly. Siobhan looked at him, waiting for him to tell her what to do, she had to obey him, she had to stay alive. It'll all be okay.

As he grabbed her by the wrist, Siobhan winced out in pain. He was getting physical. She really had fucked up. She closed her eyes tight and her mind wandered off to memories of her and Lottie. Oh how she missed her.

Siobhan had no recollection of what Roger had said or what he had done; but when she brought herself back to reality, she was on the sofa, tears streaming down her face and Roger was no where to be seen. Her body was aching, she could feel bruises covering her from head to toe. She suddenly felt violently ill.

Whilst Siobhan was reminiscing the memories she'd shared with Lottie, she had remembered that in Lottie's final few days she had written Siobhan a letter. To this day Siobhan was never able to bring herself to read it. The day Lottie passed away, was the day the new cycle had begun.

Siobhan scanned the driveway for Roger's car, it wasn't there. He'd probably gone off to hookup with other women. Typical. This left Siobhan plenty of time alone, she knew he wouldn't be back until later that day.

It was now 7:15am. Siobhan had the day off. She hadn't slept but she knew she wouldn't be able to now. As she walked up the stairs to the bedroom, she rummaged through the bottom drawer of her bedside table and found the letter Lottie had written her. As she saw her grandmas handwriting, her stomach lurched and she felt the tears stinging in her eyes. She hugged the envelope close to her chest before taking a deep breath and opening it.

To my darling girl,

I know my days on this earth are limited, but I will be fighting until my body has nothing left.
You are so special darling girl, you are a light in my life and you have proven to me over and over again just how strong you are.
I know some days you wish to give up, I know how hard you have fought all your life, but you are nearly free my darling. Spread your wings and fly away.
You are so brave my darling and I'm so proud of you. I will cherish our memories forever in every universe.
When you look up at the stars, I will be watching over you. I promise to protect you even if I'm not here.

I hope the box I left for you finds you well and it helps you heal. I know how hard this journey is going to be, but you got this Siobhan. It'll all be okay.

Lots of Love forever,
Grandma Lottie xoxox

The tears were streaming down Siobhan's cheeks, her heart was so full of love but so full of grief all at the same time. The night she looked up at the stars, she didn't feel like she was alone, but she wasn't sure why that was, it all made sense now, her guardian angel was watching over her.

Siobhan did have one question; what box was Lottie talking about?