It'll all be okay 🖤

chapter 8: the opening

As Vivian offered out her hand to Siobhan, the blonde didn't think twice before grabbing it and interlinking their fingers. Siobhan still had one hand gripped firmly on the box. This was the start of a long journey. Siobhan still had doubts if she was ready, but having Vivian by her side reassured her. It'll all be okay.

Vivian held Siobhan's hand tight, "are you ready Siobhan?" The blonde took a deep breath, looking down towards the box. Her hand hovered over the lid, it was shaking intensely. Her heart rate was increasing again.

"Siobhan, you know you don't have to do this, there's absolutely no pressure." Vivian's voice was soft, it made the blonde smile ever so slightly. How was it that Vivian had given her the same sense of safety that Lottie had given her all those years ago? It confused Siobhan, but she knew better than to let it take over her mind. She needed to be present in this moment. She needed to start healing.

Siobhan's voice broke, "Vivian, I'm not sure I can do this. I want to open it. But I'm not sure I can..." She looked down at the grass, picking at it. Viv squeezed Siobhan's hand tighter, "... would you..." The blondes voice trailed off. Vivian cupped Siobhans face in her spare hand, bringing it so she was facing her. Her eyes were glazed over, and her bottom lip was trembling.

"Would you like me to help you?" There was a small smile on Vivian's face. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was full of love. Viv knew how overwhelmed Siobhan was, and she could tell how much the blonde was battling with her mind, she knew how important this was, but she knew the toll it was taking on Siobhan.

Siobhan nodded her head slowly, trying desperately to look away from Viv, not wanting her to see her fall apart again. Siobhan had been so strong for so long, but now that the wall had fallen to the ground, she felt more vulnerable than she had at any point in her life. It was terrifying. It'll all be okay.

"Are you ready?" Siobhan hesitated, her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. "I'm ready." The blonde passed the box over to Vivian, the two of them keeping their hands in one another's.

As the lid came off, Siobhan let out a gasp, her voice getting caught in her throat. There lay many, many letters. There had to be over a hundred. Vivian looked at Siobhan, trying to read what was happening in her pretty mind. The blonde was desperately trying to keep it together. As Siobhan ruffled through the letters, she could feel the tears stinging again as she saw Lottie's handwriting. Siobhan was so taken aback when she saw the words she'd written years ago. Had Lottie truly kept these for all these years? All of the letters Siobhan had written, Lottie had written back to her. Had this been her plan from the beginning? Some of these were over 25 years old. Siobhan was in absolute shock. A wave of grief washing over her. She missed Lottie with all of her heart.

As the two sorted through some of the many letters, one caught the eye of the blonde. As she passed it to Vivian, she asked her to read it out;

To my darling girl Siobhan,
I worry this may be one of the final letters I write to you. You've become so distanced lately. What's going on in that little mind of yours? I miss you.
My heart will always have a special place reserved just for you. I worry about you my darling.

I know you are growing older, much like myself, but I don't want this bond to break. I know how hard things have been recently, I can see the hurt and pain written in your words. But you don't need to do this alone. I know that things are hard at home, and you feel incredibly isolated at school, but my home is your home. What is mine, is yours. My heart beats for you. We are a team. We will get through this together. No matter where I am, I'm with you. I'll be standing by your side forever and always. In every flower in the garden, in every star in the sky, I'll be here, protecting you.

It hurts me to know I cannot remove the pain you've faced in your life. You do not deserve the things you've had to endure. How I wished you would have a better life than myself, but unfortunately the cycle was unable to be broken, I know how strong you are, I know you will break it. You are the light and the saviour that will break the curse placed upon this family.

Everyday that passes where you don't come by, I worry. I worry that you feel you have to do this alone, but never will you have to be alone. I'm here.

Spread your wings and fly my darling. It's in your hands. It'll all be okay.

With love in every universe,
Grandma Lottie
xoxo

Siobhan turned instantly grabbing Vivian into a tight hug, trying to get as close to her as possible. The sobs were excruciating. The grief, the guilt, the pain; it was all escaping into Vivian's shoulder. Vivian grabbed Siobhan tight, rocking her and rubbing her back. The two sitting in a comfortable silence as Siobhan let the pain release. The blondes healing had begun. This was the start of so much, not just for Siobhan, but for Vivian too.