𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄

entry no.1

(If you haven't read the warnings, then  please do it now)
____

18th August 1999

Today's swimming practice was... weird.
Coach wanted me to stay a little longer so we could work on my swimming technique a little more.

I didn't want to because it's my birthday and my Mom is waiting for me at home. Because it's my 9th birthday, she wanted to go to an amusement park with me and my friends.

But Coach said that it's important. Especially because I just started with swimming, he wanted to improve my performance. So I stayed.

He held me while I exercised the arm movements. I don't think I'll forget how he told me: "You're so delicate, angel." I felt weird because I noticed that his hands wrapped around my body almost entirely.

We practised for another ten minutes before Coach remembered that he had a present for me. So he led me to his changing room because it was in his bag.

It was a ball with a string. I was so confused but he told me to open my mouth. And I trust Coach so I let him push the ball in my mouth. The silicone tasted weird.

He told me that what he was about to do is something that he likes to do when he loves someone. I wanted to ask him why he wanted me to have the ball in my mouth but I couldn't talk with it.

I felt weird when he pushed down my swimming trunks and touched my legs but I couldn't tell him. I just wanted to walk away.

"I want you to feel good, Hyeongjun." I stayed with hope that it would get better.

He undressed, too, and started kissing my body. Coach kept telling me that I'm so adorable. "My adorable angel".

The kisses felt meh. And I felt meh, too. He laid me down on the floor and put his hands in between my legs.

"Don't forget - All of this is normal" He told me. I can't remember anything that happened afterwards even though it happened today.

I just remember the mess we left on the floor, Coach told me he'll clean it up. I felt dirty, especially because I bled out of my butt. And my white pee was drying on my stomach, too.

Coach said that this will be our little secret now. And you don't tell your secrets to anyone. But my diary isn't an "anyone", right?

My mom was mad I came home late. I told her about the extra practice but not about the Coach's present.

But we went to the amusement park anyway and had a little fun.