lowkey kinda hate this but ive resorted to finishing drafts because i dont feel like starting a whole new chapter for anything tonight since i have to be up early tomorrow and i dont wanna leave yall with nothing today😭
—you'd been friends with nikki for a very long time. back from when you were both stuck in the shelter and you ran off to los angeles together. now, nikki was sitting on your couch telling you how awesome it felt for him to be clean. his 1987 overdone had scared you to death and you'd helped him the best you could but he was tweaking out and wouldnt really let you help him. he had come over to apologize but that part of the conversation was long since over.
not only did he feel better, he looked so much better. you wondered how it was possible for someone to look as good as him. "like i understand everything so much better now. its so fucking cool," he told you with a smile. he arm was around your shoulder, fingers tracing shapes on your bare arm. he'd just gotten out of a messy divorce with brandi brandt so it was taking everything in you to not tell him how you felt.
you'd always felt something for nikki. before the drugs, before the fame and before the money. but you'd never gotten around to telling for the main reason that you knew he didnt feel the same way. eventually the feelings festered and now you were fully and hopelessly in love with your best friend.
trapped in your thoughts, you didnt even realize nikki had stopped talking. you looked up at him to see him staring at you with a soft look in his eyes. "im listening," you assured him.
he smiled down at you, nodding. "i know," he said softly. his face slowly began moving towards yours causing your stomach to tense up. you tilted your chin up until you both stopped, his lips hovering over yours. "i-i uhm, i think i should," you pulled back and cleared your throat. "uhm, im gonna get some water," you stuttered, standing up and rushing off to the kitchen.
nikki sighed, running his hands over his face. he shook his head and groaned into his hands before standing up. he grabbed his keys off the coffee table and slipped them into his pocket before heading to the kitchen to tell you he was leaving. "i guess ill just uh- head out," he jerked his thumb towards the stair case.
your forearms were on the edge of the sink, head in your hands as tears fell softly from your eyes. you sniffled and let out a breath before responding. "oh-okay," you hiccuped. you felt stupid for crying but you couldnt help it. this man that you'd been in love with for years tries to kiss and you and you fucking ruined it.
"hey, whats wrong?" he puts a hand on your back, rubbing with his thumb softly as he tilts his head to see your face better.
"nothing, im fine," you lie, wiping your tears and standing up. you turn to face him which was a terrible idea.
"im sorry," he apologizes.
"for what?"
"trying to kiss you. i fucked everything up didnt i?" he asks with a sad frown.
"no you didnt, i just..." you sigh, trying to find the words to explain. "its hard to explain."
he quirks a brow, now curious of what you mean. "what do you mean hard to explain?"
you shake your exasperatedly with a shrug. "nothing, dont worry about."
"no, what were you gonna say?" he persists, stepping closer to you.
running a hand through your hair, you debate if you should tell him or not. "i just uh... i think im the one that fucked it up—by pulling away i mean." you wring your fingers through each other, looking down as you speak softly. "i did want t-to uh... to kiss you though."
nikki's eyes widen, shoulders dropping in shock. "you did?" his hands fall on your biceps, causing you to look up at him through your lashes.
you nod after a second, unable to form words. he smiles down at you, hands sliding up until ones on your shoulder and the others under your jaw. "thats good, cause i was about to walk out of here feeling real dumb if you didnt," he mumbles as he leans in but he stops when his lips are a mere few centimeters above yours.
your hands find his upper forearms and you smile, nodding softly and with the confirmation, his lips smash down onto yours. you try to contain your smile as his lips move softly against yours.
when he pulls away, the corners of your mouth pull up into a big smile as you look down. he smiles down at you, finding your embarrassment adorable. his arms wrap around you, pulling you off the counter and into him in a hug.
his jaw is resting against the crown of your head, his arms wound all the way around you tightly. "you have no idea how love ive been so goddamn hopelessly in love with you," he sighs, pressing another kiss into your hair.
"i think i should be asking you that same question," you mumble into his chest and he laughs.
"i guess were both idiots then," he tells you softly.
