Who am I?
I breathe but aren't alive.
Think but commit actions that aren't my own
I exist but am never present.
What is it?
Is it the depersonalization or dissociation steering my life into an empty void with no light that only swallows me whole until there's nothing left?
Maybe this is why I have no understanding of life
I feel like a foreign object in this world,
Splitting it into two
Black and white
You either hate me, or you love me
No in between
I either hate or love
No in between
I kill off what I hate and push away what I love
I Am too obsessive
you're mine and mine alone
Why?
Because I have no personality
My personality is those close to me.
I put on a different mask for each I talk to, but my face remains an empty void when I'm alone, Just as my heart is empty and shattered.
My trauma has shaped me into the person I am today,
Which is no person at all
I don't belong in this world
I feel like a burden to all those around me
"Get a life," I'm told
But when I do, I'm no longer allowed to live it
I fill my life with distractions to stop my racing thoughts from catching up to me.
But they grab by the hair,
Tie me to a chair,
And tell me to get out of here
I must pay rent to my mind because my body and soul don't belong to me
Or any being
Just whatever feeling is present at the moment
Numbness.
No feeling at all.
So what is holding this pen and welding my life into what it is now?
Who has these awful thoughts?
Who am I?
___________________________________________
Hello everyone!
I hope you all enjoyed it!
Kisses to my bitches💋😘💕
292 words
YOU ARE READING
I Try To Drown My Demons, But They Know How To Swim
PoetryThis is a collection of short stories and poems written by someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), BD2 (Bipolar Disorder type 2), Severe depression, PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder), Schizophrenia, and anxiety. I've also experienced...