Who Am I?

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Who am I?

I breathe but aren't alive.

Think but commit actions that aren't my own

I exist but am never present.

What is it?

Is it the depersonalization or dissociation steering my life into an empty void with no light that only swallows me whole until there's nothing left?

Maybe this is why I have no understanding of life

I feel like a foreign object in this world,

Splitting it into two

Black and white

You either hate me, or you love me

No in between

I either hate or love

No in between

I kill off what I hate and push away what I love

I Am too obsessive

you're mine and mine alone

Why?

Because I have no personality

My personality is those close to me.

I put on a different mask for each I talk to, but my face remains an empty void when I'm alone, Just as my heart is empty and shattered.

My trauma has shaped me into the person I am today,

Which is no person at all

I don't belong in this world

I feel like a burden to all those around me

"Get a life," I'm told

But when I do, I'm no longer allowed to live it

I fill my life with distractions to stop my racing thoughts from catching up to me.

But they grab by the hair,

Tie me to a chair,

And tell me to get out of here

I must pay rent to my mind because my body and soul don't belong to me

Or any being

Just whatever feeling is present at the moment

Numbness.

No feeling at all.

So what is holding this pen and welding my life into what it is now?

Who has these awful thoughts?

Who am I?

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Hello everyone!

I hope you all enjoyed it!

Kisses to my bitches💋😘💕

292 words

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