what happened in a small town

part five

When you realize that the man you left by your choice and you still have feelings for him, is involved with another woman he didn’t mention, you definitely need a cure for this mess, and the cure is a lot of romantic movies, a lot of chocolate, and an isolated dark room.
The laptop Is on a small, white, square-shaped, easily closed table next to the bed, and on the drawer next to it is a bottle of natural green apple juice from Eric Edward Laboratories, which is run by his son, Harry Edward, along with many other companies. She is sitting watching one movie after another, a romance, a drama, a comedy full of sadness.  And crying, death, separation, returning, and crying again. She watched all the films of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, to begin with, and then proceeded to anything under this list.
For three days she sat at home watching movies, wrote dozens of advertisements for the movies she liked, implemented everything in her head, and framed them in her imagination on the wall of her old room as if she was killing time to pass, but she was surprised that time never ends, is constantly renewed, and this is good, but not in her life.

So far, she has no specific destination and she cannot completely get rid of the ghost of Dean. It is not that easy, and she does have the recordings of what is happening inside the institution, to bring back the one that left four years and six months ago, loaded with ambition, hope, and determination, but she does not know the path to success.  But she just realizes that she is outside that small town.
But important things get lost in the tangle of roads until she loses her way. You find yourself fighting over things that will not give you what you want, but you have no choice but to continue.
She hates everything that urges a person to constantly strive as if a person is a machine that does not deserve to stop, catch its breath to return, or just give up because it no longer has the energy to move forward.
She had watched the movie “You’ve Got Mail” three times, and each time her heart broke with the simple love story of the shop girl and the cute millionaire. 
                                             She knows very well that people don’t know each other just because they talk every day through a screen. We don’t have that delicate feeling. In light of the troubles of life, which is full of impurities, we have the right to ask. As for her, she no longer has that right with Harry because he has  “Anne Segal” in his life now.
She hit her forehead with her fingertips, why she thought about Anne and Harry a lot, but she did not know when she met him and shared this confusing amount of feelings that he had a woman in his life!

What’s the difference?
Is it because he did not tell her when she was his friend since he was ten and she was a six-year-old child, and now he is over twenty-nine and she is twenty-five? He used to tell her everything, even what he was ashamed to admit to himself, but that child was away for four and a few months, so what?  What does she expect? To put her head on his feet while they were sitting on the green grass and simply recount what she missed as if she had never left?!
Then, is she sure that she wants to hear Anne’s story from him? She thinks that she will not bear it and may say a word that will make her hide from him for the rest of her life. She will not become a lover, not even just a friend, she will not allowed to glance in her eyes, shake in her lips, or twitch her fingertips to expose herself because she never loved a man other than Harry, and the thought of losing him was beyond her comprehension even when she was gone.                                          

                
She thought he would move with her, wouldn’t stay, wouldn’t bear her loss, and she couldn’t imagine that he would move on from her or not try to find her.
Her aunt Catherine opened the door sharply, and behind her stood Joan. Her thoughts startled and brought her back from the depths of her distant mind. She rubbed her forehead as she exhaled, then turned towards them and pulled her feet to sit and lean on them. “For heaven’s sake, what is that way to open the door?”
“Damn you, you have been hiding in the room for days, not coming out and not answering any call or massage.”  Joan preceded her aunt in answering angrily.
She simply raised her eyebrows and shrugged, “That’s because I didn’t check the phone and didn’t have anything to do so I didn’t feel the need to leave the room.”
Her aunt could not hide the anxiety that had haunted her ever since Marla moved to live with her when she was eight years old after her brother and his wife died as a result of the Saddam accident. A tragic accident that happened suddenly without warning left Marla with the choice of moving to live with her aunt in CaydeVillage or going to the government system for adoption.  Her brother always visited her during the summer holidays. She loved the girl, but she did not marry or have children, so she chose to take her to the small city from Los Angeles, the capital. She sometimes had the feeling that she had condemned her to a limited life, that she was wrong, and that of course she could not compensate her for the mother who  She needed but she gave it what she could, but for that, she tried to seem less critical and more calm.
“But you must leave the room to find something to do, and for a start, you should stop watching movies all day and moaning about what happened because what you are doing is not a solution and will not get you anywhere.”