Rubble: Devil's Rose #12

Chapter 23: Alice Owens

"Oh my fucking god," I speak into my empty bedroom, "I missed my period."

I haven't seen Nick in around two weeks. I'm not sure if we're both just avoiding each other naturally, he's been really busy with Devil's Rose MC things (I know because Major has been), or if we're both trying successfully to avoid each other.

His leaving without waking me up in the morning felt weird to me, but I didn't think much of it until Poison relayed information to me that he seemed odd in the morning meeting.

I'm not quite sure what happened. I was just going with what he and I both wanted that night. I don't think I've overstepped, but if he's not ready to talk, I don't want to force him to.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with me at all, which for some reason, I highly doubt.

Anyway, I was supposed to have my period at the beginning of the first week, the night after Nick left early without saying bye. The first day we didn't see each other. But I didn't, and I'm just realizing it now because I didn't check my period tracker.

I've always been feeling gross and tired all the time. With all the things going on with my dad, I forgot to take five days' worth of birth control, and then Nick and I had sex without a condom because we both thought that I had taken the birth control.

We didn't even think about it. I haven't taken it in the past two weeks either.

This cannot be happening. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

About ten minutes later, a pregnancy test in an unopened box sits in my hand. I stare at the packaging, knowing my entire future depends on this moment.

What the fuck am I going to do if this is positive? What the fuck am I going to do if this is negative? I'm about to faint. There's no way that this is real. How could I be so stupid?

I should know better than this. This has gone wrong so fast. I should've thought more about this. I should've been smarter, but there's no going back now.

There's literally nothing that I can do at this point but find out if I'm pregnant.

I've wanted to be a mom. I don't think I've always wanted it but as I've gotten older, it's been something that I was hoping would be in my future.

After my accident, I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think that I would get the chance because of everything I was trying to heal from. Nick gave me hope that I could find someone to love, to want to be with.

That was the point from the very beginning of why I even approached him with the sex idea. It was the opportunity for me to heal with someone that I knew would support me in that. And he seriously has; we've done well for ourselves.

While I hope it's him, the man who wants to love me and stay with me, if he doesn't want that, I'm not going to hold him back from finding his long-term gal. Which is what he really wanted before I dragged him into my mess.

That's why this pregnancy test is so terrifying. If I'm pregnant, would I want to keep our baby? And if I wanted to, would that hold him back from finding someone else?

I don't want to be the reason that he doesn't find love. I always want to be the person he loves beyond our child. If I'm pregnant, I don't want him to feel like he has to stay with me.

I want him to stay with me because he loves me and the baby is a phenomenal added bonus to us.

But he's never said that he loves me like that, so even when I say something to him and he says he loves me afterward, how am I supposed to know if he's telling me the truth or not?

I mean, he's never given me a reason not to trust him, but it feels like this is bigger than both of us.

I need to talk to someone about this. I need someone to hype me up to even take the test. I can't tell Major though because he would; I don't even know what he would do.

I think he would freak out at first, and then support me, then freak out some more. Probably go to Nick and either beat him up or congratulate him.

Violet would tell Major, without a doubt, because that's where her loyalty lies. And while, as I've said before, I'm grateful Major has that in his life and it's actually super great, this isn't the moment that I need Major finding out.

Gabby is close with Violet, Dakota would probably tell Poison, so that's not a good idea. He's a secret keeper despite his reputation, but this one, I don't know if he could keep it in. Not his fault though, it's just in his DNA.

Dakota also has never wanted children so she's biased in that way, I guess. Which isn't what I need. Iris is in her honeymoon baby land phase, so she would be excited and biased but not rational.

Piper would tell Major. Fiona would be too excited and make it a thousand percent obvious, which I can't fault her for, it's just who she is.

I'm not really that close with Beatrice and Persephone to the point where I could tell them something like this.

We know each other well, and I know that they would support me and comfort me if I needed them to, but I'm not quite sure we are at the point in our friendship where this is something that I would go to them for.

So that leaves me with Hazel, Kate, and June, all of whom I'm extremely close with and who could guide me into making the right decision.

Hazel knows me and knows how much I love children, so she could be the balance. June is older, so she's lived a longer life and really understands how much this could change my life. Especially with goals I may have in the future.

Kate, she's just an obvious choice for me. She knows what it's like to heal after a difficult situation. Although what we've both had to heal from are completely different, like opposite ends of the spectrum, she would be able to reassure me that it's possible to live a happy and healthy life in whatever decision I make.

It's the dream team.

I send a text to Hazel, Kate, and June that I need them at my place urgently. It takes no time for me to hear the sound of motorcycles rumbling down my street.

I love this place. I would want to raise a kid here if that's what my test turns out to be and that's what Nick and I decided and wanted to do. They knock at my front door, and I swing it open.

They see the three pregnancy tests, obviously still in the boxes, in my hands. With wide eyes, having connected the dots, they step inside of my apartment and wrap me up in a much-needed hug.

"We're here for you, no matter what it says," Kate acknowledges, just as I knew she would.

Hazel rubs my back, and June begins making cups of hot chocolate.

The tears gather in my eyes as I see my dream team making sure that I'm comfortable.

"Do you want to take them now?" Hazel questions.

"What will I do if it's positive?" I ask.

"Tell the father," June determines.

"What will I do if it's negative?" I continue.

"I'm going to reiterate," June muses, "tell the father."

"It's Rubble. We can just say that," Kate adds, chuckling at me.

"Does everyone know?" I add as I rub my forehead with my hand.

"Yes," they all say in unison.

Great, just great.

I can't believe this is happening to me. I can't believe I was so dumb to let this happen to me. I guess it happened with the right person though because I wouldn't want this to happen with anyone else other than Nick. I didn't think it would be so soon.