Beauty Beyond Compare

Chapter Five:

TW: This chapter contains strong language and graphic depictions of child abuse that some readers may find disturbing.

I can't take this anymore. It just doesn't feel right. Why do I feel so awkward around Seamore? It's wrong to have a crush on him, especially when he's my best friend. What if he distances himself from me? He and his family are the only ones left who have been good to me. I can't risk ruining that just because I like him.

But it's tough. Who wouldn't like someone like him?

"Gusto mong lumabas?" Seamore's voice startled me. We were in my room, surrounded by paintbrushes and canvases, lost in a world of colors. He was a natural, his hand moving with effortless grace, capturing the essence of the world on the canvas.

"Saan ba?" I asked, a little shyly. The last time we went out was for his birthday, and I'd been stuck at home ever since. Kaya nitong mga nakaraang Linggo ay siya ang punta nang punta sa amin.

"May ipapakita ako sayo sa bukid," makahulugan siyang ngumiti na para bang may plano siya.

"H-huh? Ano naman?"

"Secret, magugustuhan mo iyon," he said with a grin. Inside, I felt so nervous, knowing I was blushing again. Why does he always make me feel this way? Why does he keep making me anxious?

But despite all that, deep down, I really enjoy his company. I love how he takes care of me, how his words lighten my mood, how he makes me happy, and how he brings unique things from his school. I admire how much effort he puts into our friendship.

So how can I not like him?

He held my hand as we walked towards the middle of the field. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow around us.

"Saan ba iyon? Malayo pa ba?" habang ang isang kamay ko ay hawak niya ang isang kamay ko naman ay nakatakip sa muka ko dahil sa sinag ng araw.

"Malapit na, mamaya pikit ka kapag sinabi ko ah," tumungin siya sa akin at ang makitang nahihirapan akong makakita dahil sa sinag araw ay huminto siya at inayos niya ang pagkakasuot ng hood ng jacket ko.

He was taller than me, so my gaze naturally landed on his lips. He adjusted the hood of my jacket, his fingers brushing against my cheek. I felt a sudden rush of warmth, a sense of longing that I couldn't quite explain. He was so close, I could smell him. I couldn't help but steal a glance at his lips, their fullness and rosy color making my heart skip a beat. Para kasi akong inaakit

Ano?! Agad akong umiling sa naiisip.

"May problema ba? Bakit ka gumaganon?" ginaya niya ang pag-iling ko kaya natawa ako.

"Wala, bilisan na lang natin," said. He held my hand again, and we walked. When he told me to close my eyes, I did. He guided me as we walked, making my heart race again with his actions. We stopped, so I just focused on what would happen.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn't feel anyone around. It seems that when you're too scared of people, you'll know if there's anyone nearby even with your eyes closed.

"Sige buksan mo na," I heard his cheerful voice, sounding very excited. I was surprised to see a large tree in front of me. When I looked up, I saw a tree house made of simple materials.

I immediately smiled at what I saw. It was beautiful. The tree's location was amazing, as it offered a 360-degree view of the countryside. It felt like a magical haven, a place where dreams could take flight.

"Kaninong tree house iyan?" tanong ko at naglakad papalapit. Umikot ako sa puno habang hawak-hawak iyon. May hangdan na nakapako na rin doon.

"Sa atin," napahinto ako sa pag-ikot at tumakbo pabalik sa puwesto niya sa sobrang gulat.

"Paanong sa atin?"

"Nagpatulong ako kay Mang Kanor. May mga nagregalo rin kasi ng pera sa akin at kay Moose noong birthday namin, kaya yung pera na mayroon ako ay ipinangbili ko na lang ng materyales tapos nagpatulong ako sa kaniya. Hindi naman malaki yung pera kaya kaunti lang din ang nabili kong materyales pero buti na lang ay may mga gamit at natirang kahoy sila Kuya Jobert kaya nabuo namin. Nagustuhan mo ba—"

"I love it!" I exclaimed, my voice filled with joy. I couldn't hold back any longer; I jumped into his arms, burying my face in his chest. He laughed, his arms wrapping around me in a warm embrace, but when I realized what I did, I felt embarrassed, so I let go and lowered my gaze, unable to look at him.

"T-tara, akyat tayo, tingnan mo sa loob,." I didn't look at him anymore and just nodded at what he said. He went up first but still guided me and pulled me up.

Binuksan niya ang maliit na pinto ng tree house. Hindi kami kakasiya doon kapag nakatayo kami kami kaya nakayuko lang kami at naupo agad. Hindi ako nakakaramdam ng takot dahil mukhang safe naman ito. Bukas ang mga bintana kaya hindi ako nakaramdam ng init dahil sa malakas na hangin sa labas.

Sa loob ay may makapal at malambot na tela na sa tingin ko'y puwedeng upuan or higaan dahil may tatlong unan na nadoon. Doon naupo si Moore kaya susunod na dapat ako kaso nagulat ako nang makita na nang tuluyan ang mga gamit sa loob. Behind the door were two canvases, one with his painting and the other with mine. There were also some paintings hanging on the walls, and I was shocked to see that he painted one that looked exactly like me.

"Is that me?" I asked shyly. I touched it.

"Yes," I blushed and looked at the painting again. My hair was long in it, and my purple eyes were emphasized.

Why did he make me look so beautiful in his painting? I smiled and touched it.  It felt like he saw something special in me, something I couldn't see myself.

"Masaya akong nagustuhan mo, Bell," napalingon ako sa kaniya na ngayon ay nakasandal lang sa pader na kahoy at tinitingnan ako. Nakasando lang siya at itim na pants, mas nakadagdag pa ng kagwapuhan niya ang silver niyang kwintas.

"Thank you," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "This is the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me."

"Para may ibang lugar kang napupuntahan na puwede kang maging kumportable," he smiled as he looked at me. My heart was beating faster, so I looked straight ahead and calmed myself. I swallowed as if something was blocking my throat.

He had created this haven for me, a place where I could shed my anxieties and worries. He understood me, he saw the pain I carried, and he wanted to make it better.

"Thank you, Seamore," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for everything."

"Wala iyon, Bell,"

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting the world in a soft, golden glow.  We sat in silence for a while, the only sound the chirping of crickets and the gentle rustling of leaves. I felt a sense of peace, a feeling of belonging that I had never experienced before.

I was safe here, in this tree house, with Seamore.  And for the first time, I allowed myself to hope that maybe, just maybe, this feeling, this connection, could be something more.

Lumipas ang panahon na sa tree house na ito kami laging pumupunta. Minsan ay susunduin niya na agad ako sa amin kahit pa kagagaling niya pa lang sa school at pupunta agad kami dito. Minsan naman ay ako na ang pumupunta dito para hintayin na lang siya. May mga araw din na pumupunta ako dito kahit mag-isa lang. Dito ko ginagamot ng mag-isa ang mga sugat na nakukuha ko kay Mommy.

"Nagagawa mo palang tumakas? Bobo ka ba?! Paano kapag may nakakita sayo?! Tatanga-tanga ka! Hindi ka nag-iisip! Bobo ka talaga! Wala kang utak!" her voice was a thunderous roar, her words like daggers piercing my heart. Her heel, like a weapon, slammed into my leg, sending a wave of pain shooting through my body. I was trapped, pressed against the cabinet, my body trembling with fear and agony.

"Sorry po," I sobbed, my voice barely a whisper, pleading for her to stop.

"Sorry? Malilinis ba ng sorry ang pangalan ko? The workers of your grandfather already know who you are and what a creep you are! How dare you show your face to them!" her face was contorted with rage, her eyes burning with fury. She slapped me with such force, I felt my head spin, my vision blurring.  I crumpled to the floor, my body shaking uncontrollably.

"M-mabait po sila," I tried defending the people who had shown me kindness, the people who had become like family. I remembered Seamore, his gentle smile, his warm embrace, the way he made me feel safe.  The contrast between his kindness and my mother's cruelty was unbearable.

"Kind? Bobo ka, Isobel! They're probably making fun of you. They're probably disgusted by you. They're probably scared of what kind of person you are! You're disgusting shit! A fucking abnormal!" she screamed, her words echoing in my ears, each one a searing blow to my already fragile self-esteem.  I covered my ears, trying to block out the torrent of abuse, but it was no use. Her words were etched into my soul, leaving behind a deep, painful scar.

That wasn't true. They were kind people; they weren't like that to me. But what if... what if it's true? What if... what if they are disgusted by me... What if they are scared?

I cried while tending to my wounds. I didn't know what was hurting more, my bruised body or the hurtful words I heard from Mommy. It felt like a constant battle between the kindness I experienced with Seamore and his family, and the harshness and rejection I faced at home.  I was so confused, so lost.