It had been two weeks since Sorscha and Clodagh had last spoken. After Clodaghs attack, her parents had received an anonymous letter advising them that they needed to 'save' their daughter. Clodagh had been unable to identify her attackers, she hadn't recognised their voices as they'd shouted while hitting and kicking her. Her parents had requested that she be moved to the other English class and they'd forbidden their daughter from speaking to Sorscha at all. They had to communicate through George but even that was risky. Since they had no idea who had hurt Clodagh or sent the letter, they also had no idea whose eyes were watching them, or when.
As Sorscha cried on George's shoulder for the hundredth time that week he stroked her hair gently. They were sat underneath their usual tree and as the end of lunch bell rang Sorscha wiped her tears away frantically. She walked to her English class and took her usual seat, knowing that nobody would choose to sit by her. Like every day had since Clodaghs attack, the afternoon passed by in a stressful, painful blur.
George was waiting for her as usual at the end of the day and as they walked home, Sorscha could tell he that wanted to ask her something. Eventually, he turned to her nervously and said "are you ok? I'm really worried about you, you've been more and more down every day." She looked into his soft, kind eyes and forced the tiniest smile before replying "I'm fine. Honestly don't worry about me." There was no confidence behind her words and as George placed his hand on her arm she looked up at the sky. Sorscha couldn't cry anymore.
She couldn't do this anymore.
"Please promise me that you won't do anything stupid. We're nearly there Sunshine, schools almost over for good. I believe that you and Clodagh will be together, you have to believe that too." Sorscha nodded in faux agreement, but she didn't believe it at all. All they'd done was hold hands and even that had been more than those around them could take. As much as she knew that her heart lay with Clodagh, she didn't want to spend her whole life looking over her shoulder. Sorscha had always considered herself to be strong and resilient but her armour was cracking. Love wasn't supposed to be dangerous and she knew that she didn't want to fight every day just to live.
Sorscha finally looked back over at George and said "I'm not going to do anything stupid." He tilted his head expectantly so she added "I promise" entirely for his sake, she didn't want him to worry.
Once she was home, she got changed hastily before heading straight back out. As she walked to her Nanny's she thought of her childhood. Hazy summer memories occupied her mind, the good old days when the world had seemed so bright. Before she'd realised what she really was, she'd been so happy. Once she'd arrived she knocked on the door and waited nervously. It felt strange to knock but she knew that she had to tread carefully.
When her Nanny answered the door, Sorscha made sure to speak immediately, or else she knew that the door would be slammed straight in her face.
"Nanny, please just listen to me. You were right, I am sick and I want to get better. Please help me."
YOU ARE READING
NOT A PHASE - (TNN - SORSCHA)
Hayran Kurgu**COMPLETED** An interpretation of Sorschas potential struggle.
