NOT A PHASE - (TNN - SORSCHA)

CHAPTER NINE - FOR HIM

Sorschas Mam held her hand as they lowered George's coffin down into the ground. Her Dad was stood behind her and resting his hands on her shoulders. It was raining and it was freezing cold. As she shivered Sorscha became convinced that she'd never feel warm again. Would George feel cold down there? Was he lonely? The cemetery was no place for a little boy.

Forever fifteen. Just a little boy, destined to lie forever in silence, down in the cold, damp earth. Sorscha looked away for a moment and immediately, her eyes met Clodaghs. All she could hear was George's mother sobbing as she laid her son to rest. The two girls didn't need to speak to know what the other was thinking. No matter what, they were connected and they couldn't let hatred tear them apart. If they allowed that, George's death would mean nothing and that simply wasn't an option.

Be brave for him.
Make him proud.

After the funeral Sorschas parents took her for dinner. For almost twenty minutes the three sat in silence and stared into space. George had often called at the house for Sorscha and gradually, her parents had come to care for him greatly. He'd made their little girl feel happy and seen and finally she hadn't felt so alone. Now he was gone, his death chalked up to an unfortunate accident, leaving the boys who'd taken his life to wander free. No justice for the boy who would never laugh again, never grow up, never live the life that he should have had. The life that he deserved. All those people that he should have met, that he should have loved, had lost the greatest thing they'd never had and they'd never even know it.

Eventually Sorscha spoke, her voice horse from crying "Mammy, Daddy, I need to tell you something." Her parents were snapped from their thoughts and as they looked over at her she took a deep breath. As she proceeded to tell them about her conversion therapy she was shocked by just how horrified they looked. She hadn't even told them that she'd gone to see her Nanny in the first place so her confession had them blindsided. Once she'd finished she looked down at her hands as she twisted her fingers together nervously. Her Mammy placed her hand on Sorschas knee before saying "you don't need to change love. You may feel differently in the future, who knows, but either way we love you. You feel how you feel love." Her Dad interjected "all we want is for you to be happy. We don't want you pretending to be something you're not." He paused before grabbing her hand and whispering "I'm so sorry about your friend love. He loved you for who you are and so many more will too. You've got no idea how many people are going to love you. The world's so much bigger than this town, it's out there waiting for you." Sorscha finally looked up and into her Dads eyes, smiling ever so slightly as she felt the warmth of his love enveloping her. He sighed and said "I'll talk to my Mam. I wish you'd told us about this sooner."

Once they were eating their dinner, one thought kept plaguing Sorschas mind.

Tell them how you feel about her.

On several occasions she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She wasn't sure they'd even be able to help her, Clodaghs parents clearly didn't want her anywhere near their daughter. Plus, her having an actual crush on a girl might make it all too real for them, would they still treat her the same? George's voice echoed through her mind, encouraging her to be brave and telling her that she was so nearly there.

Do it for him.

Sorscha counted to three and forced herself to finally speak. Her parents had told her that she needed to be herself and if they didn't know about her feelings for Clodagh, then they couldn't really know her at all.

"There's something else I need to tell you."