NOT A PHASE - (TNN - SORSCHA)

CHAPTER EIGHT - GOODBYE GORGEOUS 🖤

TRIGGER WARNING - VIOLENCE/BLOOD

"Conversion Therapy? Sorscha, no. There's no way that stuff works, it's just torture." George was throwing his arms around wildly as he spoke. Sorscha realised that she'd never seen him so animated, he was almost jumping up and down on the spot. She sighed before snapping "it's not torture, so far it's just been counselling sessions." George scoffed immediately "and what exactly have they been saying to you in these sessions?" When Sorscha looked down at the ground and refused to answer he continued "that you're wrong for wanting to be with a girl? That your brain just needs to be rewired? It doesn't work like that and you know it. This is how it starts, they won't stop at just talking, do you realise that?"

Sorscha did realise that. In fact, her church councillor had already explained that soon, they would move onto the 'next stage' of her therapy. When she'd enquired as to what that actually meant, they'd simply told her not to worry before laughing and suggesting that she worried too much. Truthfully, Sorscha had hated every moment so far and the idea of a 'next stage' filled her with dread. She was trying so hard to do as they told her and to believe that her mind could be changed. All the therapy had done so far was made her feel completely ashamed and even more confused.

She still loved her with all of her being. She still longed to see her and to hold her hand. She still dreamed of the life that they could have lived together, in some other universe where hatred hadn't torn them apart. The life that Sorscha now envisioned for herself, living a lie and forever pushing her true feelings away made her want to die.

She closed her eyes and whispered "of course I know that George. I don't know what else to do, I feel like I've got no choice." She felt George's hand caressing her cheek gently and as she opened her eyes, she saw that smile that she loved so much. "You do have a choice Sunshine. Would you tell me to go to conversation therapy?" As she looked into his eyes, Sorscha gasped as she imagined people telling George that he was sick, or that he needed to change. Just the idea of it was making her feel nauseous and as he continued to stroke her cheek reassuringly, she shook her head slightly. "No. I wouldn't Gorgeous."

It had been a strange Saturday afternoon. After their emotional conversation, George had tried to distract Sorscha by attempting to teach her how to skip stones. As she'd tried and failed to keep the little stones bouncing up above the water, she'd felt deflated. George hated seeing her so sad so he'd grabbed her hand and told her "it's alright, you'll get it eventually. We can try again next time."

The two friends wandered along the riverbank, hand in hand as the sun began to set. As they made their way back towards the village, George did everything he could to make Sorscha laugh. When she finally did giggle due to his terrible impression of his art teacher he felt his heart swell. They were so nearly there. He knew that right now, the world seemed so dark and grey to Sorscha. She'd been his first true friend and now she was like a sister to him, so he felt it was his duty to pull her through and into the light.

As they rounded another corner both Sorscha and George stopped in their tracks. A group of boys were gathered around a bench, laughing and joking with each other. The pair immediately recognised the boys from school and when they realised that the group had spotted them, they knew instinctively to run. Within less than a minute, everything had changed. The boys caught up with them quickly and immediately, they'd grabbed hold of both Sorscha and George.

"Let Sorscha go, I won't try to run, just leave her be." George's voice was firm as he pleaded with them. The boys laughed before calling George a string of slurs, shaking him around and trying to provoke him. When the boy that had hold of Sorscha shoved her forwards and onto the ground, George started to fight frantically. Once he'd managed to free himself he tried to get to Sorscha but he was immediately caught by the largest boy, Calvin. He was almost twice the size of George and as he yelled further slurs, he shoved George backwards forcefully.

Sorscha watched as George's head slammed against the concrete and she could tell immediately by the noise that his skull had been cracked. As blood started to flow, Calvin screamed "run" scattering the boys immediately.

It was silent now. Sorscha had a mobile, but it was old and as she pulled it from her pocket she saw that it was totally dead. They weren't close to any houses and she had no idea what to do. She rushed over to George and placed her hand over his heart.

At that moment, she realised that it didn't matter now anyway. Sorscha placed her head on George's chest just as his beautiful heart stopped beating forever. She clutched his T-shirt as she screamed into his chest.

Sorscha had no idea how long she sat there with him. Eventually, her lungs gave out and her tears ran dry. So, she closed his eyes for him and simply whispered "goodbye Gorgeous."

🖤

Two-thirds (64%) of LGBTQ+ people have experienced anti-LGBT+ violence or abuse.

LGBT people are nearly four times more likely than non-LGBT people to experience violent victimization, including rape, sexual assault, and aggravated or simple assault.

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