NOT A PHASE - (TNN - SORSCHA)

CHAPTER FIVE - WE THREE

"Sorscha, I'd really love to spend lunch with you. I know you're worried that it will make me a target, but I can handle myself." Clodagh's voice was determined and it was clear that this time, she wasn't taking no for an answer. Sorscha sighed heavily before replying "I'd really love that Clodagh, I'm just so worried. George and I sit outside now for lunch, usually we get left alone." Watching Clodagh nod happily in response made her heart swell and she couldn't help but smile. Over the past few weeks the two girls had grown closer, chatting away during English and passing each other notes.

That lunchtime, Sorscha, Clodagh and George sat together under an old, majestic oak tree. Sorscha explained to a bemused Clodagh that she'd given George the nickname 'gorgeous' while George always called her 'sunshine'. "You can be cupcake" George was looking at Clodagh with a huge grin on his face as he added "that suits you." The brunette couldn't help but giggle in response.

Usually, George sat with Sorscha until the end of lunch bell rang. For the first time since their friendship began, he jumped up prematurely and exclaimed "right, I'm off. I need to speak to my art teacher about something." With that he was gone, but not before slyly winking at Sorscha behind Clodagh's back. Turning to look directly into the brunettes eyes she said quietly "I really appreciate you spending time with me like this. Most people don't want to know me." Immediately, Clodagh's eyes filled with tears and as she reached out and grabbed Sorschas hand, one solitary tear trickled down her cheek.

The two girls stared into each other eyes for several agonising seconds, a silent understanding building between them all the while. Finally, Clodagh spoke, simply whispering "I feel the same way you do. I've wished to be different and I've lied to myself, but it's no use. I know how you feel Sorscha." There was that invisible string again. Both girls were crying now as they held hands, their hearts aching for themselves and one another simultaneously. "Why is this so hard?" Sorscha choked between sobs "I don't understand why our feelings are so wrong." The brunette shook her head in response, unable to find the words to convey her feelings. In that moment, two kindred spirits became each other's lifeline and as long as nothing came between them, they would never be alone.

From then on, Sorscha, Clodagh and George became inseparable. Now that Sorscha wasn't alone constantly, other students left her alone for the most part although the dirty looks hadn't fully subsided. She didn't dread school anymore, in fact the thought of seeing her friends made her smile. Gradually, she came to believe that Clodagh could love and adore her, just like she'd hoped and dreamed. It was the way their eye contact lingered just a little too long. It was the way the brunette took any and every opportunity to catch Sorschas hand in hers. It was the way that she listened intently to every word Sorscha said, gazing at her like she put the stars in the sky.

Meanwhile George took every opportunity to tease her, asking repeatedly if he could be her best man when she and Clodagh got married. She'd tap him on the arm playfully before saying "you won't be invited at all at this rate gorgeous" giggling as he inevitably replied "but who's gonna help you choose your outfit? You need all the help you can get Sunshine."

"Shut it gorgeous."

Sorscha still cried every night, hoping that one day her Nanny would love her again. She knew that she shouldn't have cared, but she missed her so desperately, she simply couldn't help it.

As much as she wanted to feel settled and safe, something was bothering Sorscha. She couldn't help but feel a storm was coming, believing the current calm to be nothing more than an allusion.

Unfortunately, she had no idea how right she was.