Wish You The Best / Jaime Lannister / Tywin Lannister

31. Hard to Love

Jaime stared across the table at zaria as tywin spoke to arthur. He thanked his grandsire repeatedly for the sword. Aeron looked longingly at the valyrian steel.

"Next one belongs to you." Tywin assured. Aeron nodded eager for the day another piece of valyrian steel would befall kings landing.

"I will work hard for the honor." Aeron agreed. " although it wasn't high that disobeyed mother and ran off so really should Arthur be being rewarded for his disobedience?"

"Aeron!" Arthur demanded.

"What? Just an honest question."

"Its good to be home." Jaime agreed.

" are you not hungry?" Zaria questioned.

" I figured you would be famished." Tywin agreed.

"I..."

" he can't cut his own meat." Arthur realized. " and he's too stubborn to ask for help." Jaime gave a pinched smile.

" I would offer to help, but you would just tell me that you're not an invalid and you can do it yourself." Zaria huffed.

"I can."

"Then do it." Zaria sassed. Jaime attempted before pushing his plate away, annoyed. " I am your wife. I'm here to help you. Why won't you let me help you!" she demanded slam fist down on her thigh.

" because it's embarrassing." Jaime admitted. "Its damn embarrassing."

" you would rather starve yourself than ask for help from your wife good to know."  Zaria agreed.

"Z," jaime begged.

"Good. To. Know." She spoke each other slowly, as if  it was its own sentence.

Arthur and Aeron knew better than to speak up, they kept their lips shut. THeir parents fought but this was different and they could tell. 

Tywin kissed Zaria's cheek and her eyes drifted to him. 

"Give him time."

"I thought I would happier but he's not the same." Zaria whispered. 

"He has changed." Tywin agreed. "He will need to step up in his fatherly duties and push away his duties as a knight." Tywin added. 

"He pushes me away." Zaria corrected. "I dont... I want to help him but I can't. He won't let me, him and his lannister lion pride." she huffed marching off to check on Azalea. 

" A work of art, really. The craftsmanship is excellent."

"You like it so much, you're welcome to chop off your own hand and take it." Jaime hissed to qyburn.

" Such an ingrate. I spent days with the goldsmith - getting the details just right." Cersei drawled pouring herself a drink

"Days?" Jaime countered

"Better part of an afternoon. There, how does that feel?" Cersei pondered and he moved his metal hand around.

" Uh... a hook would be more practical." Arthur countered. 

" Elegant, I think." Cersei countered. Jaime winced as the strap was put into place.

"But painful I suppose if you went to shake someone's hand and stabbed them instead." Arthur added. "How does it feel?"

"Heavy." Jaime admitted staring down at it. "Arthur, will you give your aunt and I a moment?" Arthur hesitated. "It wasnt really a request." jaime informed him. 

"Right," Arthur drawled getting up. "I missed you, Dad." Arthur whispered as he headed to the door. Jaime sighed running a hand over his tired head. 

"Thank you for your help with the other matter." Cersei added. Jaime looked between them.

" The symptoms have abated?"

" Gone completely. I am in your debt, Maester Qyburn." Cersei agreed.

"Not a maester, Your Grace, but happy to help whenever I can." Qyburn agreed, he turned to jaime but he waved his false hand meekly for him to leave.

""Odd little man."

" I've grown rather fond of him. He's quite talented, you know?" Cersei countered.

" What symptoms?" Jaime countered.

" Symptoms that are not your concern." Cersei hissed.

"You let him touch you?"

" You jealous?"

"I'm surprised. You never let Pycelle near you." Jaime recalled. Cersei laughed.

"He's with aunt cersei." Arthur remarked. Zaria gave a tight nod. 

"He lets her help, of course." Zaria agreed stiffly.  Tywin was trying to help Jaime but jaime was failing. Once again he was failing to be there for Zaria. Tywin had always been intimate with Zaria, even in just innocent ways so he didnt shy away from kissing her temple or dragging a calming hand over her back in front of others. 

" You think I'd let that old lecher put his hands on me? He smells like a dead cat."

"I'm not sure I've ever smelled a dead cat." Jaime countered. He knew cersei wouldnt be offering him help so he feel safer in this conversation, because cersei didnt care about anyone else. 

" Well, they smell like Pycelle." Cersei decided.

" You drink more than you used to." Jaime remarked as she poured another glass.

" Yes."

" Why?"

" Let's see, you started a brawl in the streets with Ned Stark and disappeared from the capital. My husband died in a tragic hunting accident." Cersei went on jaime chuckled.

" It must have been traumatic for you." Jaime mused.

" My only daughter was shipped off to Dorne. We suffered through a siege."

"A rather short siege." Jaime cut in.

" A rather short siege that I didn't expect to survive. And now I'm marrying my eldest son to a wicked little bitch from Highgarden while I'm supposed to marry her brother, a renowned pillow biter. So..."

" Father disowned me today." Jaime countered sitting beside her.

" He can't disown you. You're all he's got."

"You're forgetting Tyrion."

" You don't really plan on staying in the Kingsguard, do you?"

Jaime went to find Zaria, she didnt rise up from her spot when he came in, she ignored him all together. Jaime sighed but understood. 

"I'm sorry, Z." He whispered. She acted like she didnt hear him because that was a lame ass apology and he knew it. "I'm sorry Z."

"What?" Zaria countered bringing a hand to cup her ear. 

"I'm sorry Zaria." Jaime breathed back sitting beside her, he stared down at Azalea sucking her thumb happily laying on zaria's thighs. 

"For?"

"Being an awful husband." Jaime admitted. "I never should have pushed you away, before this and especially not now when all you want to do is help. I'm just not used to it-"

"I know!" Zaria said through an exasperated breath. "Jaime I know you are used to being the man in charge, the brave and the bold and the fearless, never needing help but you do now!" Zaria begged. "I was worried sick about you and you come back and all I wanted was to hold you and you made me want to kill you instead."

"I deserve that." Jaime agreed. 

"Jaime, you are my husband and I love you but you make it really hard to love you."