Reaching You My Sunset (COMPLETED)

Chapter 52: Missing you, Mikha Lim.

AIAH'S POV

My phone keeps ringing, but I don't feel like answering it.

Kada ring nito parang mas pinapaala lang nito kung gaano ako nawawalan ng gana sa lahat ng bagay, from everyone.

I don't have the energy to talk to people.

I feel so lifeless, my days are dull and gray.

There's an emptiness inside me that's na hirap akong huwag intindihin.

Para ako nang hihina parati, as if my strength has been drained away, as if someone took it away.

I know it's because I miss Mikha, I miss her so much.

Her absence is like a heavy weight on my chest, not to be exaggerated pero para ako parati nahihirapan huminga, nahihirapan mag function.

Every little thing I do, reminds me of her.

Panong hindi kung sa simula pa lang s'ya na ang kasama ko?

I miss her laughter, I miss her smile, I miss her expressive eyes.

The way she made me feel alive with her silliness — all of it is missing, leaving me in this hollow state.

And the guilt... it's suffocating.

I can't stop thinking about the hurtful words I threw at her in anger, the look on her face when I lashed out.

Kung pa'no n'ya pigilin ‘yong pag iyak n'ya, the way she needs to look up to stop her tears from falling.

Her stoic face while her eyes are screaming in so many emotions kahit tuloy tuloy ang patak ng luha n'ya, it's haunting me.

I regret every single thing I said.

I pushed her away dahil akala ko nag sisinungaling s'ya.

I was too dumb para paniwalaan si Gelo at Jeremy.

The memory of her pained expression when I said Jeremy's name haunts me.

Mikha is not the type of person who cries easily.

The last time I saw her crying before she confessed was when her grandmother passed away, and that was three years ago.

Seeing tears stream down from her eyes, I knew I hurt her big time.

If only I could take back those words, if only I could tell her how sorry I am at pinag sisihan ko na mas paniwalaan sila Jeremy kesa sa kaniya.

Pero paano kung wala s'ya rito?

Nong una, akala ko nag loloko lang sila Gwen, when they said Mikha left the country, but when I went to her apartment, her other belongings were gone.

Sa apartment n'ya ako natulog, waiting for her, thinking she just wanted some time to breathe and avoid us, but three days have passed and no sign of Mikha.

I wanted to message her, but her number was out of reach, and all her social media accounts were deactivated.

I wanted to agree with Dad to trace where she is and force her to come back to the country, pero ayaw ko maging makasirili, knowing Mikha, ang coping mechanism n'ya is isolation.

I know she needs time to breathe, not just from me but also from her family.

I also found out that everything Gwen said about Mikha choosing my happiness, even if her family disowned her, was true.

Dahilan para mas mag-sisi ako sa mga pinagagawa ko.

I sighed to myself and looked at my phone that was still ringing.