The Secrets We Keep

The Twenty-First Chapter

Part Three: The Dead Girl's Diary

Hayden

"Hey, George. Do you mind if we swap seats today?"

Even though the words aren't addressed to me, I still look up in Math when I hear a familiar voice. When I raise my head from doodling flowers underneath yesterday's notes, it's to find Grace sliding into George's abandoned seat. 

"Hey, I didn't know you had this class," I say as George starts heading to the back of the crowded classroom. Grace smiles as she pulls her bag on top of her desk. 

"Yeah, it's crazy. I think we share a few classes and yet we've never really spoken before," she says, a small smile on her face. She seems better than she did yesterday. She's pulled her natural hair back with a navy, satin ribbon, and her dark skin seems to be almost glowing today. "And we probably never would've bothered to get to know each other if it weren't for you barging in yesterday."

"Sorry about that," I say and she smiles wider and rolls her eyes. 

"I'm just pulling your leg, Hayden. Like I said yesterday, it was nice talking to someone, and knowing I'm not the only one who feels like absolute shit."

"I get that," I say, watching as she pulls a suspicious-looking book out of her bag. She looks behind her before sliding the book onto my desk. I move my stationery out of the way to make space. "What's this?" I ask as I look down at the worn, red, leather cover. It's smaller than any of her other A-4 notebooks. I thumb open to the first yellowed page and stop breathing when I see who the book belongs to. It's Amelia's. 

I look back over to Grace who's now staring at me with worried eyes. "Look, I know you said I should read it and I did. I really tried to last night. But it was just too hard and I couldn't get passed the first few pages." She swallows as she leans between our desks and pushes the book closer to me. "I was wondering if you could do it. And isn't your dad like the captain of the police force? If you find anything you can give it straight to him."

I bite my lip as I slide the book off my table and into my open bag. "I don't know," I say as I meet her pleading eyes. "Don't you think it would be a bit invasive if I read it? I liked Amelia, but in the grand scheme of things, we didn't really know each other well. What if-"

"What if that's exactly why you should read it? I'm too close to everything here. Plus you were there that day and you guys hung out the week she died. Maybe it will be better for you to put two and two together. You can still tell me what you read in there and I can maybe explain some things you weren't around for. Just please don't make me read it."

I nod and watch as she exhales a long breath. And then just like that, the smile is back. "Do you want to meet at lunch?" I ask as I lean down and zip my bag shut. I'm suddenly so aware of it, or at least what's inside. I can't help but feel like that journal lying in there is some kind of Pandora's Box. 

"Sure," Grace says. "I'd like that but I don't like eating in the cafeteria. Could we meet outside in the garden? It's quieter and I'm in desperate need of sunshine." 

"Sounds perfect," I say, turning in my seat when I hear the classroom door shut out the noisy sounds in the hallway. 

"And... thank you for doing this," Grace whispers. I look back over at her and see her eyes are glassy again. "It means a lot to me."

I smile back but it feels forced. 

It's strange, for someone who wanted to know everything that happened to Amelia, I feel so daunted by the idea of reading her thoughts.