The Secrets We Keep

The Thirtieth Chapter

Christopher

Instead of taking me home, I ask Eric to drive to Nathan's. I call him the moment Eric pulls to a stop at the gates in front of his house. 

"What's up?" Nathan picks up after the third ring. His voice sounds strange and I furrow my brow as I wonder if he's still with Hayden.

"Are you home right now?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I've just pulled up. Can you let me in?"

Nathan hangs up and a few moments later, the wrought iron gates swing open. Eric drives slowly up the winding path and as we get closer to the mansion, I can see Nathan's shadowed form waiting for me. 

"Thanks," I tell Eric once he's pulled to a stop. I undo my seatbelt and open the door. "I'll let you know when I'm done."

I jog the rest of the way to Nathan, listening as the car reverses out. 

"Detective Reyes wants to interview you for a witness statement," I say as a way of greeting. Nathan stands up from where he was leaning on a pillar and starts leading me into his house. 

Like it usually is at this time of day, it's empty. 

"Was everything alright there?" He asks as he shows me through the foyer and to the over-decorated game room. He doesn't bother offering me a drink and instead collapses on his father's favourite green, leather armchair. 

"It went as well as it could've. How's Hayden?" I ask and stay standing. 

Nathan looks up at me and laughs mirthlessly. His hand digs around in his couch and he digs out a bottle of whisley. "I think she broke up with me. Stop smiling."

"I'm not," I say even though I am. I lean against the mantlepiece above the fireplace. "How did that happen?" I ask and cough to keep the laughter out of my voice. 

I should really not be this happy about this news. 

"I don't fucking know," Nathan says and the words come out muffled as he scrubs a hand over his face. "I'm a stupid idiot and told her I slept with Amelia."

This time, I do laugh. "Why the fuck would you do that?" I ask and take the bottle of whiskey when he offers it to me. 

I take a sip and relish the way the liquid burns its way down my throat. 

"You know how she is. She just starts asking all these questions and before you know it, I'm admitting to shit I did fucking years ago." 

I hand him back the bottle and he takes a chug of the thing. It's so much that I lean forward again and snatch the bottle from him. 

"I think you've had enough," I say as I place it down on the floor. "So what are you going to do about Hayden?"

Nathan's unfocused eyes settle on me and he shrugs. "I want to give her space but I'm worried that will do more harm than good."

"Why's that?"

"Because your fucking fat face is going to make a move," Nathan says and throws the cap of the whiskey at me. I catch it and lean down again to twist it back onto the bottle. 

"I wouldn't," I say. I couldn't. She doesn't like me. 

"Yeah, right," Nathan says and brings up his phone. 

"What are you doing?" I ask cautiously and move away from the fireplace to watch what he's doing with his phone. It's never a good idea to mix electronics with an inebriated state. He's pulled up his contacts and is clicking on Hayden's name. 

"Pass me the whiskey," he says, reaching out blindly with his free hand. 

"No," I say, not knowing if I'm referring to denying him the alcohol or about the text he's about to send. 

Please talk to me. 

"Fuck, you're wasted," I say and snatch his phone out of his hand. It's an effort not to read all of their previous messages as I delete his new one. "Just give her some space," I say and throw his phone back to him. "So, you and Amelia?" 

Nathan's tired eyes blink up at mine as he barely catches his phone before it crashes to the floor. "Shut up."

"No, come on, let's hear it. When else are you ever going to have a chance to talk about this without someone breaking up with you?" I ask, more than a little amused by all of this. "I didn't even realize you liked her that much."

"I did. I don't know. I thought I liked her but it's not the same..." He closes his eyes and his words are slurred as he places his one arm under his head. "But you know Amelia thought she could fix everything. She found out about my hand and she told me we should go to the police." Nathan laughs again and flexes the hand in question. "She wouldn't let it drop and it wasn't like we were together so I just stopped talking to her." His gaze becomes more focused and he looks down at his phone. "But I can't tell Hayden that. She wouldn't understand."

I stare at his hand as he talks. There's a faint scar there that if you didn't know to look for, it would never be obvious. 

But every time I talk to him or help him put the oars away after practice, I find myself staring at it. 

We don't talk about it. I know he doesn't want to talk about these things, just like he knows not to question the bruises he's seen on my face and arms. 

Sometimes, when you've experienced the same thing someone else has, the biggest comfort you can offer is to understand in silence. 

It's just a pity Amelia didn't know when to leave enough alone. Maybe then she could've been with Nathan instead of pining after him until the day she died. 

I may not have liked the girl all that much but unrequited love, as I'm coming to understand, really fucking sucks.