Hidden shadows [Milex/mclennon]

Jacob Andrew Mccartney

Taking a deep breath Linda tries to calm her nerves. When reaching for the door handle she pauses taking one more look at Paul waiting for some kind of  sign to proceed, with a small nod Paul signals her to go on.

Opening the door felt like a lifetime, like the world stopped and started spinning in slow motion. As the door gets wider and wider Paul's heart begins to beat faster and faster.

Standing there with his hands in his leather jacket Miles looks up at Linda.

"He-Hello I'm Miles Kane, I'm here to see Paul McCartney."

Not containing her excitement any longer Linda squeals and launches herself at Miles.

Stumbling back Miles tries to catch his balance, shocked Miles doesn't know how to process this moment.

"Ummm... not to be rude but who are you?"

Chuckling Linda finally releases him from the hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't contain myself, I've been wanting to meet you for so long."

"I'm sorry and you are?"

"Oh how rude of me, hi I'm Linda your- Paul's best friend."

Nodding Miles gives her a weak smile and says, " Nice to meet you."

Ushering Miles inside Linda excuses herself to the kitchen to make some tea.

Finally finding his voice Paul walks up to Miles, " T-Thank you again for agreeing to meet me, I know this is not easy for you, it's not easy for me either but like I said before, I'll answer any questions you have. But first I think we should maybe sit." Gestures to the couch.

Nodding Miles follows Paul and sits across from him, " I honestly don't even know how to begin, what to ask first but I guess the only question I can think of right now is...when was I born?"

Without hesitation Paul answers in a heartbeat
" March 17, 1986 at 5:02 PM at Walton Hospital, I actually was born there as well." Paul had labor pains all morning but he didn't actually know he was in labor since that past week he had been experiencing Braxton hicks contractions, it wasn't until  2 PM when he felt some sort of liquid trickle down his legs, he arrived at the hospital 30 minutes later and was told he was ready to deliver at 4:26 PM and after 36 minutes of painful exhausting labor at least for the body of a 15 year old boy, little Jacob Andrew McCartney came into this world, this cruel unfair world.

With a somber voice Paul looked Miles in the eyes, " The day you came into the world was also the day I thought I'd lost you forever. My little Jacob."

" Jacob?"

Nodding sadly Paul looked down at his hands in his lap like they were the most interesting thing in the world, " Yes, that's what I was going to name you, Jacob Andrew McCartney."

"Oh... I'm sorry..."

" Nothing to be sorry for Miles."

" Before we go on I just wanted to ask if we can do a DNA test? It'll make me feel more at ease. I hope you don't take it the wrong way or feel that I'm calling you a liar but I think it's for the best if we do."

Of course, Paul didn't think about a DNA test, he was just so excited finding out his son was alive and out there somewhere.

"Oh yea of course Miles, I have no problem doing it, I'm sorry for not mentioning one sooner I was just so focused on finding and talking to you but you're right a DNA test is a smart thing to do."

Satisfied Miles goes on, " I'm just gonna get to the most obvious question, why did you give me up? Did you not want me?" Deep inside Miles feared this question, scared to be told that he wasn't wanted that he was a mistake that never should have happened but he knows too that if he doesn't ask this question he'll never have closure.

Sighing sadly Paul gets up and sits on the edge of the coffee table infront of Miles, " Miles I'm gonna say this loud and clear so you know without a doubt that I never gave you up."

Pausing to collect his thoughts Paul begins to say, "I was 15, not out of school yet, I had just come out to my parents and friends a year before that. When I found out I was pregnant I was sitting all alone in the boys toilet and of course all I kept thinking was how was I gonna support you, but never once did it cross my mind to abort or give you up. I loved you since I knew about your existence but that wasn't enough for my Da. We didn't have the best relationship, mother... your gran passed soon after I came out and for some reason I think deep down my Da Jim blamed me for mum's death.. I don't know maybe he thought because I was gay I cursed our family, ridiculous as that sounds but on the day I gave birth the only person in the room with me was your grandad, soon after giving birth I got weak and I was tired and I couldn't fight sleep anymore. When I woke up the first thing that I wanted was to see you and hold you in my arms but that's when my whole world crumbled, D- Jim came into the room and gave me the horrible news, you had died soon after birth due to childbirth complications, Of course I believed him." Eyes filling with tears Paul continues. " I cried and cried like never before with a hole in my heart. 3 days later I went home empty handed and sworn to secrecy by my Da to never speak of this again and I guess not thinking about it was the best option for the pain. I agreed and I buried the pain as much as I could and life went on. I went back to school like nothing had ever happened, like a normal 15 year old, what's the alternative? I was still a child who depended on my Da so if I wanted to still live under his roof then I knew I had to agree to any conditions he gave. Don't ever think for one second I didn't want you, you were snatched out of my arms at birth because my Da thought I was a knocked up shameful little slut...But in reality in my whole life I've only slept with one man or boy at that time."

Sympathy seeps into every pore of Miles's body, here he thought he was the son of a drug addicted that cared more for drugs than her own child. Now he doesn't know how to feel, on the way here all he could think about is spewing insults and demands to the person he thought didn't care about him but after hearing his side of the story Miles is in a stump, he was unfortunately a slip up by 2 teenage boys who didn't realize the consequences of unsafe sex but he understands 100 percent.

He met Alex at very young age and it took maybe a year for them to get their heads out of their arse long enough to admit their feelings and what came after that was sex..sex...lots of sex and a pregnancy scare that resulted in a trip to a pharmacy at 3am for a morning after pill. So he couldn't really judge Paul for being an irresponsible teenager for having sex and getting pregnant at 15, he'll be a hypocrite.

Miles doesn't know what drove him to but he reached out and took hold of Paul's hand and gave a comforting squeeze. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this so young and alone, but I have to ask... who's my other father?"

Breath hitched and all that Paul could do is stare at their hands still clutching each other, he knows avoiding Miles eye contact and the silence was immature of his part but he couldn't help it, he hadn't thought about  that man in such a long time, it feels foreign in his mind but if he wanted Miles to truly trust him he had to tell him the whole truth.

Without thinking twice Paul blurts out.

" John Lennon."