What is love? [PAUSED]

Chapter 19

Lunch with Monica was great. She is so funny and an amazing person to be around. We talked about stupid things and things people talk about...I guess. She ended up giving me her cousin's number, so I can " talk to him ". I don't even know what's going on with Daniel and I. I mean like I think we are over, that's what I said. But then that shit that went down in the elevator is getting me confused. I mean I love Daniel I do, but he lied about being married and he told his two closets friends that I was his fiancee when we weren't even dating to begin with. I wanna be in a relationship with him, but I'm not going be no homewrecker and shit. 

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When I got back to the apartment I saw Rickey all hugged up with Naveah on the couch. I smiled a bit, they are really cute.

" Hey guys " I say shutting the door.

" Hey T " Naveah replies, but Rickey just ignored me.

" Rickey, say hi back " She giggles and hits his arm.

" Hey " He mumbles. I roll my eyes and walk to my room and shut the door. I take off my clothes and change into one of my huge oversize shirts. I put my hair in a bun and wipe off my makeup in the bathroom. Once that was done, I lay in my bed and turn on the TV. A few minutes into Jumping the Broom ( that is my all time favorite movie ) my door opens. I look towards the door and Naveah walks in.

" Hey " She smiles.

" Hi, what's up?" I question.

" Well I wanted to know what was going on with you and Rickey. You guys aren't the same anymore, did you guys get into a fight?" She asks sitting on my bed.

" You can say that. Somethings been going on with me for like a year now and me being the idiot I am, I didn't tell my best fucking friend about it and now he is pissed at me. I don't blame him though, I should've have told him from the get go " I say shaking my head.

" Wh-what's been going on with you?" She asks. " But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, It's none of my business anyways " She says shrugging.

" Well, You know Sebastian right?" I ask.

" Y-yea, Rickey's ex " She says. " What about him?"

" Well, he uh * Sniffs * .....he rapes me every fucking chance he gets. Every fucking chance " I say while tearing up.

" * Gasps * You're kidding right?!.....Oh my God Toyin, I am so sorry " She says pulling me into a hug, making me burst into tears. 

" I should have fucking told him, I should've...I should've " I cry while punch the pillow. 

" Shhh, it's okay. You were scared, " She says while rubbing my back.

" It d-doesn't m-matter, I sh-should've still t-told him. He w-would have s-stopped it " I cry even harder.

" Sweetheart it's-

" Excuse us for a sec " Rickey says. Rickey? I look up and make eye contact with him. Naveah hugs me tight then gets up. She kisses Rickey's cheek and walks out. He climbs into my bed and pulls me into a tight hug making me cry harder than before. I wrap my arms around his waist tight, making sure not to let go.

" Stop crying babygirl. You gone blind yourself girl " He says.

" I'm really really really sorry Rickey. I should've told you when it first happened. I wouldn't be in so much pain right now if I did " I sniffle.

" * Sighs * I understand you were scared. You were afraid of what he would do...i understand. But you I wouldn't have let him anywhere near you after that " He says kissing my head.