Kakairu Oneshots

1. Bookshop Au

1. "I'm in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you've read that book? let's have an in depth conversation about it."

'Hyperbole and a Half. Hyperbole and a Half. Where is this damn book!' Iruka Umino thought to himself, the teacher's troublesome student, Naruto Uzumaki, had been wanting the book for so long and is always talking about it. So, being the nice fellow Iruka is, wanted to give the book to the boy as a birthday present.

'Where the hell is that boo-shit...' He sighed as he noticed the yellow book sitting on the highest shelf possible. Iruka was a decently tall man but this was a bit taller than him, okay not a bit taller but more along the lines of two Iruka's standing on top of one another.

"Alright Iruka, no need to stress, you got this, just find a stool or get some help" he said to himself as he breathed in and out. The last thing is needed was stressing out in a public store.

Looking to his left and to his right he sighed, 'no stools to be seen...fantastic', he slid down the wall in defeat, his head in his tan hands.

"Yo, you need help?"

"Unless you can reach that yellow book that says 'Hyperbole and a Half' on the highest shelf possible, then no" Iruka spoke, he didn't care who the person was or why he wanted to help him, he just needed that book.

"Oh that book? Yeah sure no problem"

A light scraping of metal on carpet fills Iruka's ears as the stranger pulls up a stool seemingly out of nowhere. The noise was soon replaced by footsteps, a quick grunt, and a smash as feet connected with the stool and was followed by carpet rubbing against something.

"You know this book has some language in it and you don't look like the type of guy who would be reading, let alone, saying these words in this book. But I might be wrong, probably not, I'm usually right most of the time."

"What type of language? And I'll have you know I have the mouth of a sailor...sometimes" Iruka corrected, his head not leaving his hands.

"Just the common; Motherfucker, shit, asshole, and bitch, just to name a few. You do? Give me your worst" The voice answered, it was smooth but sultry at the same time. The owner slid down against the wall next to Iruka as he waited for whatever words would come out of the ponytailed man's mouth.

"Shit, poop, fart, anus, bastard, uh...asshole. Oh sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Iruka Umino" Iruka said, finally raising his head from his hands and turning his head to see his speaker. His faced turned red as he realized how handsome the man was, his silver hair seemed to have its own gravitational pull and his mouth and nose was covered by a black mask. Only one eye was shown, it's coal color shimmering in the store's lights, his other eye was hidden by a black bandana.

Noticing the awkward silence and his staring, he outstretched his hands, giving the man a warm smile.

"Kakashi Hatake" The man now known as Kakashi said, his paler hands shaking the tan ones.

The two shook hands for an awkward amount of time, longer than any other handshake lasts. Noticing the prolonged period of silence and weird shaking of hands, Iruka takes his back in and scratches the scar on the bridge of his nose awkwardly.

"I presume from your vast knowledge of the book that you've read it before, correct?"

"You presume correctly" Kakashi replied, his visible eye arching into what would represent a smile, "I presume you are looking into this book to buy, correct?"

"Yep. I mean yes, I am, a student of mine's birthday is coming up and they've been interested in this book for a while" Iruka answered, 'wow yep really? Way to go, you don't sound like an idiot at all' .

"If you don't mind me asking but how old is this student?"

"He's turning 13."

"Yeah this book is definitely not for his age range. I mean if I were in your shoes I would give it to him but I'm not you and we seem to have a different way of thinking but this book is for readers that are about 15, eh, 15 and up. So it'd probably more up your alley. You seem to have a small amount of knowledge on words that make you speak like a sailor."

"Sneaky kid. Is the book good? I'm not giving it to him but for my own reading entertainment would you recommend it?"

"How about I answer that question and what any other questions or comments or thoughts you have when I invite you to Ichiraku Ramen at 3?" Kakashi answered, handing over the book to the dumbfounded teacher.

"Wha-me?! Uh sure! I mean sure why not" Iruka stumbled, 'smooth Umino smooth'. "Thank you and I'd love you. Fuck, I mean I'd love to."

"There you go, keep up words like that and you'll be worst than Davy Jones himself. I'll see you there" and up Kakashi left, leaving the blushing man on the floor against the wall.

'Well, you didn't get Naruto his book but I'm sure he'd like a gift card for Ichiraku Ramen and hey! I got a date' Iruka thought as he got himself up and headed for the checkout. 'Let's do this'

End

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