Louis POV-
Seeing Harry lying there awake on that hospital bed, staring straight into my eyes, did something to me. The guilt hit me like a truck and it was eating me alive.
I leave the room and as I head for the elevator door I noticed that I was crying. A lot. Harry means so much to me and I've finally realized something I really haven't before.
I think I'm in love with Harry Styles.
I step in the elevator door and a little 4-year-old girl holding a stuffed animal is accompanied by her mother and their attention is focused on me. I dry my eyes and nose but the tears can't stop falling from my eyes.
"Did someone die? Are you alright?" The little girl lets out in a sweet little voice and my eyes are fallen on the sad sympathetic girl.
"Heather!" Her mother chastises her and I nod my head showing the lady that it's okay.
"No, it's alright. No. No one died but I did lose someone." I let out and small saddened smile to the little girl.
"Who?" She squeaked looking very interested in what I was explaining to her.
"The love of my life." I choke wiping away the new tears and the mother shows me a sympathetic frown and the girl places her small little feet on mine and hugs me really tight.
The elevator dings, opens up and I am the first to exit the confined area out into the fresh air. I had to leave this place and the good thing about the hospital is that it's located on Wellington Street right near the abandoned park where I was going to tell Harry my secret.
The keyword to that sentence is was. I was going to tell him but now he probably wants nothing to do with me and I wouldn't blame him. I cross the street almost getting hit by a car on the way over and I head to the park.
As I make my way over to the park, the memories and traumatic times enter my mind and it feels as if it is replaying in my mind like a movie. Harry cutting himself was probably one of the worst things that I ever witnessed in my life.
I sit on the swing were the memories lay and I take out the knife I stole from Harry. Yes, I stole his pocket knife when he was sleeping in the tree house with me that one night. I took it because I didn't want him to hurt himself anymore but this time it's not for him but for me.
I open up the knife and my eyes water again thinking of how terrible he must feel. I hurt him so badly and he passed out because of internal bleeding. He could've fucking died because of what I did to him. His parents! Oh my god! What if they come to see him and he tells them that I beat him up and they hate me forever. I can't live with that. I can't even live with Harry hating me. He would probably want me dead anyway. I've been treating him like shit lately and I've hurt him so much.
I flip the blade and the hold the knife over my wrist as a droplet of a tear hits my arm. Everyone hates you anyway. Your dad. Harry. Harrys family. Your family. Your friends. Everyone. Do it. My mind informs me almost forcing the blade on my wrist.
So I press it on my arm and at first I feel a sting but as I move the blade more it feels so numb. I carve a "G" into my arm and the blood pours from my wrist. I pick up the knife an scrape an "A" next to it. And to finish it off I carve a "Y" as my vision blurs and I am interrupted by a sudden noise.
"Louis," the very familiar voice pierces into my ears. I turn quickly around and my eyes interlock with Harry. One second he was fine but the next second, right when he looked at me, that's when he cracked. He started to sob and stepped closer to me trying to take away the knife.
"H-Harry?" Is all I could say as I turn away from him and fall on the ground and I drop the knife.
"Louis!" Harry screams in a startled tone. He reaches for my arm and he picks me up. This time it was his turn to pick me up bridal style but I don't want his pity. I wiggle out of his arms and stand up wiping the dripping blood off my arm.
"Just leave me alone Harry!" I snap at him and his face suddenly deepens in sorrow.
"No! I want to hear what you have to say. I don't care how hurt I'll feel after and how depressed it will make me. I want to hear what you have to say Louis." Harry cries stepping closer to me.
"I'm bipolar and I flipped out on you. You make me feel a way that I can't explain. I feel comfort when I'm around you and it's nothing I've ever felt before. I was told by some people that you don't like me and you just wanted to hurt me. I was utterly upset so I snapped and when you found me in the hall the rage unleashed. I attacked you and I'm so sorry. I don't think I can forgive myself and this time I mean it. Harry I have something to tell you and I've been dying to tell you since the day on the Ferris wheel." I utter avoiding eye contact with him and moving my sleeves up my arm to reveal the drying blood on my arm.
It unveils the words somewhat clearly and Harry's eyes notice my scraps and they widen on what it spells out.
"Harry I'm gay. I always have been its just I was in denial for such a long time and I really like you. I've had very strong feelings for you lately and it's been so obvious... I mean we kissed for Petes sake. I even got your number and started texting you anonymously just so you can see the real me. And dammit Harry Edward Styles I think I'm in love with you and I don't give a shit who knows it. I want..." I am cut off by him pressing his lips against mine.
It feels so good. It feels so right. I begin to kiss back but then something hits me. I don't deserve this beautiful boy but I'm so selfish I want him for myself. All the thoughts I were thinking washes away and it feels like only Harry and I are the only two people on Earth.
He pulls away and my face lights up glancing at the red glow on his rosy cheeks.
"Louis," he lets out a little out of breath from the kiss. "I have liked you for the longest time and my crush on you never really went away. I just thought that you were straight and all I mean you did have a girlfriend for the longest time." He says kind of hurt staring up at me for an explanation.
"Well the only reason I had one was to see if I was gay or straight. And that's when I realize that she was annoying an bratty and that when she kissed me I felt nothing. I didn't feel a spark definitely not the fireworks I feel when I'm with you. It was also because my stepfather is stupid and wanted me to get a girlfriend." I confess and Harry listens to me carefully his eyes full of interest and liking.
"Don't call him stupid he's your stepfather Louis." He interjects letting out a gasp.
"Well he is. He's a homophobic jerk that found out I was gay this morning and is now disowning me. He wants me to pack my bags and leave. He said that I wasn't his problem in the world. That I was a disgrace. That he doesn't love me." I sob and Harry puts his arm around me and touches my chin so that he's forcing me to look at him. He smiles and his eyes alternate from my eyes and mouth.
"Well I love you." She confesses and kisses me forcefully on the mouth.
"I love you too."
