Louis P.O.V-
I walk into school today a complete mess like I have been. Harry will never love me. But I will die trying to make him happy and make him feel loved. And for the first time in a month, I have seen his beautiful face today.
I look down at the floor right after though because after the way I've treated him, I do not deserve any one that beautiful to look at me or talk to me or be in my life. But I will never stop loving him. I'll never stop trying to let him know that I do.
I start to walk into school with my head facing down and I feel someone walking towards me and when I look up it was him. He looked angry, hurt and so broken. I did that. And I will hate myself forever for it. I couldn't stand looking at his broken face so I ran outside into the parking lot. I didn't know where I was running to but I wanted to be somewhere where he wouldn't be hurt by me. He followed.
when I thought I was far enough away, I heard his voice from behind me.
"Louis. you can't run from this. You can't just leave my heart hanging like this. I'm not your puppet" He mutters and my heart shatters into a million pieces.
Harry you are not a puppet. you are like a sunset. so colorful and unique. you are like a snowflake. one of a kind and fragile. you are like a rose. extravagant and beautiful. you are the one I love.
but instead of saying anything I could barely speak and drop to my knees to surrender to him.
"my..." Angel.
"I'm...." Sorry.
"I lo..." ve you.
"har..." ry please.
"Louis speak!" he yells at me getting annoyed at me. and at first I just wanted to cry more until I died from being dehydrated because I cried all the water out of my body. but then I spoke. because I could never go against what he told me to do.
"Harry Edward Styles... I am sorry and I want you to know that whatever happens with you and I, I will never hate you. no matter what I say to make you mad or pretend I'm cool. I will always consider you as my first priority. I'm sorry for all of this and the way I look today. I was kicked out of my house and I've been living in a small house with a nurse named Judy. you know her it's just... words can't describe how I feel when I see you. and I just want you to know that I care." I say quietly but I made sure that he heard every word.
"please... you have to believe me. here," I begged getting up and walking to my car that was parked next to us. He hesitantly nods his head, looks back at the school and walks to the car. then I felt something that I haven't felt since he yelled at me a month ago.
hope.
I know that I love him and I know that this my last chance to make him know that I truly do because damn it he makes me feel so happy and genuine and loved. I really don't deserve him at all but I swear from this point on that I will never stop loving him and I will never EVER hurt him again. I can't live without him. When he's sad, I'm sad. when he's happy, I'm happy. when he's hurting, I'm hurting. I am so happy that in my lifetime Harry Edward Styles is here next to me, right now. and I'm so in love with him it hurts.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"you kissed me! why did you kiss me?" he questions with his eyes and mouth gaped but his eyes also looked like he didn't want me to stop.
"Harry I genuinely seriously love you. and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you notice that I do." I say my soul feeling so free from lifting this weight off my chest.
"I don't... I don't know what to say." he smiles for about a minute and then he shakes his head.
"I'm sorry Louis. I can't accept this. you've hurt me way too many times and I have been constantly tormented by you. and recently you've been saying you love me and you kiss me and you mess with my head. if I can't trust the way you act towards me, how can I trust you with my heart and my love?" he snaps and the Farris wheel starts up again. I didn't know what was dropping faster our cart going towards the ground or my heart.
I am so broken. I love him and he doesn't trust me. I don't trust me either. I just thought that maybe, just maybe, he could see what I meant when I said "I love you." But I don't deserve his beauty and his smile and his dimples and the way he crinkles his nose when he laughs.
"yeah. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I will still love you though even if you don't return it. I will always love you and you will always be in my heart." I force out trying so hard not to cry but right after I say it, the tears were let loose. I have never cried this way in a while. but it wasn't loud cries they were more soft and quiet.
"Louis don't cry. please." He says with a sad smile and a tear in his eye. "come on we have a project to do. we can do that. I don't really feel like going back to school now. I don't want to be beaten up again." he sighs looking down at the ground. How does he not know he is beautiful?
"Angel. No one will hurt you again. I promise. I will protect you." I say with certainty and scowl thinking to when zayn hurt him. Then I think to when I did too and I feel like shit again. I deserve to feel like shit until the day I die.
"You can come to my place. I don't think Judy, Kay and Mikey won't mind." I say thinking about the two little children at home and how generous Judy is for letting me stay. Judy actually knew my mom when my mom was getting to be more accepting of gay people. Judy told my mother about the story with her son and my mom has been going out for tea every Sunday with Judy to chat when Judy's husband Frank stays home with the kids.
"Mikey? who's Mikey?" Harry asks confused and a little mad. Do I sense jealousy? hahaha. I can works with this. we get off the ride and walk to the car leaving Harry's question unanswered until I turned the car on.
"Mikey is the cutest. He cuddles with me after we watch shows and movies together." I say watching Harry's face boil to a dark red.
"I can't believe you just tried to make me believe that you love me when you have another guy! that's so low-" He shouts but I interrupt him.
"he's four." I giggle and watch his face get even redder. He sits in silence the whole ride home as I laugh to myself thinking about how much cuter Harry was.
When we get to Judy's house, I see the two little munchkins at the door and I smile to myself. I go to the other side of the car, open Harry's door and wink at him. As Harry and I walk towards the door the two kids open the door and attack me. I start to laugh as they take me to the ground.
"Louis! Louis! Your home!!" Mikey shouts as he hugs me tight.
"we've been waiting all day!" Kay said holding her arms around my neck. I look up at Harry and his smile was so huge I was so struck and stared at him for a bit.
"I love it when you smile." I say to him mindlessly and he blushes so hard.
"Ahem. hey kids this is my... friend Harry. He's very special to me so give him as much loves as you possibly can okay?" I instruct them and they both nod in unison.
we walk inside and Judy greets us as soon as I get a foot in.
"You're suppose to be in school Louis." she sternly shunned me and I nodded but smiled.
"Harry is here though and we are going to do a project for school that's due really soon," I start and she looks at Harry and looks at me and nodded.
"alright. just please go to school tomorrow." she sighed in defeat but grins when she looks at both Harry and I with Mikey attached to my leg and Kay attached to his.
"Harry do you want to go to the piano? I.. uh... already started the song" I admit embarrassed at what I wrote down. Kay and Mikey walk away towards Judy leaving Harry and I alone.
"really? can I hear it?" He asks looking at the piano and the music on the side.
"um... uh... okay. I can't really sing that well. I only have the chorus down. I'm... I'm sorry... if I don't sound good uh... this song is for you Harry." I mutter looking down at the piano and don't look back up. I look down, play the piano and sing quietly to him.
"I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things..."
