Chapter Five: Shadow of Doubt
"You'll never leave me, Kiadaria!" His eyes are a blaze with fanatic delusion. His breath is hot on her face as he pins her against the wall, unable to move. His fingers painfully dig into her shoulder blades. "You are MY mate. You are MY Luna and no other. You will always be mine!"
Suddenly, his hands circle her throat.
The pressure he uses is punishing as she thrashes beneath him. Her lungs burn to breathe, but she can not as he continues to shout and squeeze. Her vision is blurry, and now he shakes her.
"I can't stand the thought of you looking at another wolf. You're MINE. You are always mine." Spit from his angry words splattered her nose and cheeks.
The memory of this painful moment still haunts her.
Sometimes it comes to focus when nothing is wrong. She can't run from the memory of how his hands felt on her throat as he choked the life from her. Sometimes she hears the remnants of her terror-filled whimpers. Every time she believes she has moved past the moment and forgiven him, something reminds her that she is truly still gripped with fear.
Kiadaria's face is paralyzed as she stands in terror of the contorted expression on Joshua's angry face.
She recognizes the same jealousy that engulfed him that night.
Oh no, we've been here many times before.
A deep fatigue that weathers her conflicted soul begins to spread through her. Kiadaria doesn't want to fight. She doesn't want this to be her life anymore...this cycle with him.
"You went on a solo run, unescorted, and WITHOUT ME!" He bellows and knocks over the items on his desk. "Who the fuck did you meet? Who were you with?"
She stammers. "There was no one. I wanted time alone. That's all."
He lets out a rage-filled yell. "You liar!" He grabs her forearm and feels like the bone will fracture. "Baby, don't lie...don't lie to me. I can smell another wolf on you. Just tell me...who is it?"
She attempts to shake him off, not liking the calm tone he has taken on. "Joshua, get off now."
Her heart beats like drums.
Kiadaria can hear her blood rushing in her ears.
"You are MINE!" His voice is thunderous, and Joshua seems enraged by her request.
She feels his blow before his raised arm registers. His hand wound back and powerfully weiled to strike across her face, leaving streams of blood from where his claws scraped the skin of her cheek. Her head goes numb from the force, and her vision blackens.
We've been here before.
You've done this before, and you'll never change.
What have I been thinking?
...That I should reject my mate FOR YOU?!
... That you would see how loyal I've been and treat me differently.
What have I hoped to gain from all of this?
Why am I even here?
"Kiadaria, Luna of Rising Moon pack, you belong to ME! I'll kill anyone who tries to take you again! I will never lose you again."
In his fury, the words don't make sense to Kiadaria.
She stumbles and holds onto the nearest item as she tries to make sense of the statement: I will never lose you again? Kiadaria challenges that she's never been taken from him. Kiadaria has been loyal and devoted. He scared off any wolf that would be interested from the time she was twelve.
As Joshua prepares to strike her again, Darius bursts into the room.
"Hit her again and I will bite your fucking hand off!" as he throws himself onto Joshua.
Joshua's rage is consuming and powerful as he shrugs off the other Alpha with barely any effort. "You'll never be lost to me! I won't lose you again. We belong together, and you'll never be rid of me. I'll choose you every time."
Once again, the combination of Joshua's sincerity and the way his words make no sense frightened Kiadaria. It's as though Joshua has had a mental break, as his words don't fit the reality anymore. Her skin crawls, and she feels nausea rise.
Darius appears between Kiadaria and Joshua with a snarling growl. "Touch her again and I will kill you."
Joshua is deranged.
His eyes hold the glaze of a lunatic. "You won't take her again, Darius! She's mine! I chose her and I choose her again."
Darius's face hardens. "The fuck are you talking about? I have never taken her! But I am taking her now, I will protect her from you."
Kiadaria gains her senses. "Will both of you STOP! Stop it! This can't be about me! You're both giving in to your twisted desires and warping them for love. Stop now...if any of you care."
Joshua looks at her, and then his gaze snaps to Darius. "You think you can walk in here and take her away again?!"
"Man, what the fuck are you on about?! I've never taken Kiadaria! You're fucking insane and that's why I am taking her." Darius responds, sounding genuinely upset.
Joshua doesn't respond, but deadly stares Darius down.
"Kiadaria and I are mates. We have the mate bond, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect her." Darius confesses.
For a brief moment, there is triumph written across Joshua's face as he turns to Kiadaria to reject Darius as commanded before.
He steps in front of her.
"He is my mate Joshua, and I will stand by Darius, not you." She shocks everyone by admitting.
But the moment of truth is clear to her, and even though she watches a special pain tear through Joshua, not even the tears she fights can make the words be taken back.
Kiadaria wants out of this painful cycle.
She wants the life back that Joshua stole from her with his insanity.
There had been some triumphs, but what Joshua believes, to Kiadaria it isn't right. She swallows hard, realizing her friend has been gone for a long time and doesn't know why it's taken this moment to see that, but Joshua isn't well. She doesn't want to remain unwell with him.
The pain that crosses Joshua's face cannot be described but is quickly covered with shock and anger. "No...not again...no. I can't...I can't let you. I won't."
Darius' eyes never leave Kiadaria as he basks in the admission she made and realizes she has accepted him as her mate. "I'm not afraid of you, Joshua, and I will protect her."
Kiadaria and Joshua share a gaze that hurts. "You go with him but know I'll always be watching. You are mine."
She doesn't wait to be told twice.
Running out of the room, Kiadaria goes into the bedroom and throws random items into a bag. She doesn't question what makes Joshua 'let her go'. All that matters is that she can, and that's all she wants right now as she senses the moment to be someone different and to have something different.
A piece of her heart breaks because she knows what they will all say.
She knows that in some ways this action will still make her the source of whispers and that people will still hate her, but she hopes it maybe won't matter as much when she's living a new life more in the image she wishes to be.
YOU ARE READING
The Luna's Fated Choice
Werewolf"Trapped between two alphas... Kaidaira has been tormented by Joshua, her pack's ruthless alpha, since she was a teenager. But when Darius, a mysterious and handsome alpha, arrives with a claim to her heart, Luna's world is turned upside down. As sh...
