❧ matt sturniolo imagines ☙

finished.

hey everyone!

i've had this account and book up for a long time now, and i've enjoyed every second of it. i love to write and it brought me so much joy to be able to share my stories with everyone. i also love the triplets. those three boys pulled me out of a rough spot in life and i could never thank them enough.

moving on, i've decided that i'm going to be done with this. i've just become addicted to my phone and i don't feel like my writings are coming from a good place in my heart anymore. there's things on here that sprout temptations and i'm done living through a screen. this was a good community filled with amazing people that i love very much, but i don't think i want a spot in it anymore.

i want to experience life fully. i don't want to sit on my phone and imagine scenarios anymore, i want to live them. i realized that if i spend all my time sitting around and dreaming of a man that doesn't even know i exist, i'll probably pass up the man that actually will want to spend his life with me. he will know i exist, he will care, and he will love me.

also, i'm a follower of Jesus. i was saved a couple years ago, but i've been too scared to really pursue a relationship and life with him until now. writing fanfictions and desires about men that know nothing about me doesn't feel right, and i definitely don't feel right reading them 24/7. His love is good, pure, and will be more fulfilling.

of course, even if you're not a follower of Jesus Christ, i still encourage everyone to put their phones down for just a second and really think! what made you happy as a kid? if you were still on the internet as a kid as well, what do you feel like you've missed out on your entire life? what have you always craved? go find it! find dopamine that isn't provided through a screen! find your hobbies, your passions, and the people you love! find a community in real life. it's meaningful and beautiful and we all get to experience it. don't miss out!

then again, i'm not shaming anyone who likes to be on their phone. there can be balance! i was just never good at balancing it in my life. i don't feel real anymore, and i want to be able to think about my life thoroughly. i want to get to know myself again without the influence of millions of other people in media. i think it's special to really know yourself and who you are. i want a life without constant dissociation and the need for fake dopamine from a screen.

i'm graduating soon, and it just really got me thinking about everything. am i where i want to be right now? what do i spend most hours of my day doing? am i really living, or am i just waiting for life to happen to me? is the life i am currently living really fulfilling?

i saw a quote the other day and thought i'd share it with everyone. "Your life is like a book. You have an endless amount of chapters, and the opportunity to fill each of them with anything. Will your book be interesting? Will it be exciting? What do you want your book to be about?"

i don't want my book to be chapters and chapters of me sitting on my phone in my room and hating myself. i want it to be lively and full of love. :)

thank you all so much for all of your love and support. your kind words helped me so much when i was going through rough times. i made friends on here, and everyone means so much to me. you're all so special and i hope everyone is doing amazing. if not, i hope you begin to feel amazing soon. i love you all.

don't forget how utterly unique and individual all of you are! there's only one of you on the planet!

thank you so, so much!