what came next

one - taylor

3rd December 2013, New York

"Mommy?" Something poked at my shoulder and I groaned, rolling over.

"Hiya baby." I yawned, reaching out blindly to pull the toddler into my arms. "Please tell me it's not the middle of the night."

"No mommy, up time!" Bella giggled, wriggling as she turned over against my chest, her tangled locks of blonde hair framing her face. I still hadn't had the heart to give her a haircut, and her hair was long, the ends still soft as the downy tufts from when she was born.

I sighed and nodded, blinking a few times to try to wake myself up. I didn't know how the hell Bella had managed to be an early riser when I would sleep in until noon every day if I could, but I suppose she had gotten that from her father. She grinned up at me, and as I looked down at my daughter, I suddenly remembered.

"Oh my baby, it's your birthday today." I whispered, stroking her cheek.

"Birfday?" Bella repeated.

"Yes." I giggled, tapping her nose. "You're four today, do you know that? Can you show me how many that is?" Bella frowned, looking down at her hands before shoving three fingers up at me. I shook my head, so she stuck another one up. "Yes!" I praised, peppering kisses over her cheeks. "That's right my baby, you're four years old today!"

Oh god, how had the time gone by so quickly? It seemed like only yesterday I'd been sitting in that tiny classroom, a snippy nineteen-year-old with an inappropriate crush on her teacher. Now look where that had got me. A twenty-three-year-old single mom with a four-year-old daughter, living from paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment. My singing career had started and ended with one album, because after the success of that, I was too busy being a mom for any of it. I'd handed responsibility of that album over to the company, told them I was sorry, and left without looking back.

I didn't care anymore. I used to think the only thing I ever wanted was that career, but I loved my Bella more than anything and nothing came before her. She'd needed me, so I'd given up my dream and she'd replaced it. We'd moved to New York, away from my family, never seen them since. Mom had never stopped judging me for what I'd done, and I couldn't stay in that town any longer. It wasn't my home any more.

"Cake?" Bella asked hopefully, and I laughed.

"Yes baby, mommy got you a cake." I told her. "You want cake for breakfast?"

She nodded, so we got up and did just that. I sung happy birthday to her, helped her blow out the candles, wiped icing off her face and made her eat some fruit as well just to get a little something healthy in there. I'd taken the day off work for her birthday since I normally worked Monday to Friday and dropped her to daycare, but they'd given me some paid leave for this.

I worked as an assistant at a real estate office not far from our apartment, doing all the admin and desk work. It wasn't a big load, and it was pretty boring, but it paid the bills and I got along with everyone there. Sometimes I took Bella to work with me when she refused to go to daycare, since she sometimes had days where she just couldn't stand to be away from me, which I understood. It was probably encouraging a separation anxiety, but I hated being away from her too.

"So what do you want to do today baby?" I asked as I helped her wash sticky smears of icing off her hands.

"Mommy are you not work?"

"Not today." I kissed her forehead. "Mommy's with you today." Her face lit up and she threw her arms around my neck, laughing happily. "So what do you want to do?"

"I wanna do..." She thought very hard about it for a moment, pursing up her lips. "I wanna do the little golf and rainbow drinks."

"That sounds like great fun baby, we can do that." I smiled. Mini golf and milkshakes.