her. | BINI Jhoanna Imagines

dear oceans

Y/N's POV

Sabi nila huwag kang mahuhulog sa taong hindi mo kilala.

The elders told me that before but we all know that nothing can stop a heart when it falls.

I fell in love with a stranger within a day of meeting her, and I knew then that she was the one I wanted to be with until I was old. Everyone said it was an infatuation, but I know with all my heart that it wasn't. I know with all my soul that it isn't. We only met three months ago, but I have never been so sure of something or someone all of my life.

Dear oceans, if there's something I never want to lose in my lifetime, it would be her, my love, my home, my everything, my Jho.

Three months ago, I lost all of my will to live. It was a messed up combination of family problems, school, and financial arguments that never seemed to end. To clear all of the problems in my mind. I first decided to go to an island.

On that island, I unexpectedly met the woman who changed my life.

As I was writing a diary entry that night, I was already ready to end it all. But just when everything appeared so dark, her words made me want to live for at least one more day.

A stranger's weird rudeness saved my life. And that same stranger unexpectedly became the reason for my life.

Dear oceans,                                                                                                                                                                         

Pagod na ang mga mata, Tuyo na ang mga luha

Malalim pa rin ang mga sugat, Matagal ng hindi naghihilom

Dugo'y namumutla na, Utak nahihirapan na

Nahihirapan na akong huminga, Hindi na alam kung makakabangon pa.

Ingay ng demonyo ang nananaig, Mga anghel ay tila nawawala

Trumpeta ng langit gumuguho, Tila wala ng pakinabang ang buhay ko

Kaya ngayon ako magpapaalam na sa walang hanggan

Ang mahabang pagtulog ngayon ay malalasap na

I wrote a poem in my notebook like I always do. I was sitting at a native restaurant by the waters, but the darkness only allowed me to feel the waves through touch and sounds.

I still vividly remember what I was thinking that night.

"Okay lang siguro na tignan muna ang dagat sa isang sandali" I thought.

Akala ko yun na ang pinakahuling beses na makikita ko ang dagat at buwan. I really thought it was my last night. Minutes after writing in my journal, I left my seat temporarily. I went to the bathroom to cry one more time; I was sure at those times that I really wanted to be gone. However, it's usually the most random encounters that halt our urgent wish to disappear sometimes. For me, it was seeing my journal left open on the table when I clearly left it closed with my pen on top of it. Someone obviously opened it and read what shouldn't have been read. When I walked closer, the pen was missing, and on the page facing upwards, there was an entry I clearly didn't write.

That was when I first read the words of my destiny. My first interaction with Jho.

Dear oceans,

Hindi ko alam kung kanino ang notebook na ito, but please tell her that the world is beautiful and sad often, but sometimes it will make you smile, too. It hurts to be left behind, to have importance just so you can feel its gradual loss, pero kung titignan natin ang mga maliliit na bagay, we will also know that we can be happy with little things. It's all about the little things, small things. Hindi naman kailagang maging kumplekado ng mundo. We should know that taking a break is okay when it's getting hard. So in the ocean's waves, if my note reaches the stranger who owns this notebook, please tell him that his smiles are beautiful, which I have seen earlier. Her kindness is obvious even though his sad eyes are also obvious. My ocean, please tell this beautiful soul that it's alright to be sad and cry but also to ask someone to help her smile.