Light Me Up [HS AU]

36

I came back to the penthouse after work. The guys were hanging out, watching a soccer match on TV. I sat down next to Niall, wondering where Harry was.

"How was your day, lovely?" Niall asked and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. It was a friendly gesture, but very comforting in a way I didn't know I needed.

"It was alright," I sighed, my eyes fixed on the match on TV. In reality I was constantly worried that the news of my blotched past would see the light of day, subsequently ending my relationship to the Stone siblings. My anxiety must have been traceable, because Niall pulled me closer and assured me that all was well. For a moment I felt like it might be, at least until Harry entered the penthouse with a look I couldn't determine. I got up from the couch and went straight over to hug and kiss him. He pulled me in to hug me, but something just felt wrong.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, suddenly worried that he was having a bad day. He just nodded, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips a tight line. He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. We were hardly in the door before he looked at me with an expression I hardly recognised.

"Why are you with me?" He asked.

I must have looked confused, because he rubbed his neck and rephrased his question. "What does being with me mean to you?" He was different than usual, more serious. 

"I really like being with you," I started, not sure where he was heading with his question. "I feel safe and happy when I'm with you. I feel like you see me for who I am." 

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his dresser. His eyes flicked between my eyes and my feet, and something felt really off about his body language. 

"Why are you asking me this?" I decided to be blunt with him, there was no need to beat around the bush, I wanted things to be open and honest between us. 

"What if none of it is real?" He asked. "If you don't really feel what you think you feel? If it's just a fantasy that I'm some knight in shining armor, who saves you from your toxic ex and..." He trailed off looking at my face, which must have very clearly shown my shock at his words. "What if I can't be who and what you want me to be?" He asked instead. 

I sat down on his bed, feeling all my muscles and limbs going numb. I had no idea what brought this on, but it was making me feel anxious. I couldn't recall having said or done anything to bring this out in him, but my go-to response was always to doubt myself and what I had done. "I'm very confused," I almost whispered. "Did I do something wrong?" 

"You deserve better," he said without hesitation. 

I got up to my feet and started walking towards him, but he held his hands up for me to stop before I came close to him. I shook my head and looked at him with furrowed brows. He wouldn't let me come close enough to touch him, so I stayed a couple of feet away from him. "I don't know what has brought this on, but you're wrong, Harry. You are good for me. I know you are..."